Organ Solo

Two cops, looking to hand out tickets to people stealing organs (spleens, not Wurlitzers), track a body back to the Slaughterhouse, a jumpin’ little joint just outside of town where unwilling donors are sliced ’n diced while still in taxpayer mode so that their internal parts can be sold to wealthy Japanese businessmen who need them in order to continue the fine work they do.

The bust goes horribly awry and one of the policemen is injected with a serum created by the doctor whose been experimenting with flora and fauna. (He’s a botany professor at the local school by day.) The infected cop is taken away to live in a greenhouse, but not before his arms and legs are amputated. The surviving cop and the Swamp-Thing cop’s twin brother embark on a ruthless quest to find him and, in the process, go stark raving mad.

Meanwhile, the plant teacher has himself been contaminated and grows these gnarly boils and lesions all over his body, which leak when he pokes at them with a knife. While that’s meanwhiling, another student happens upon Dr. Lawn Face. She’s intrigued by this half man/half stink weed, so she wants him to pollinate her with his sex pistil.

While this is going on, the body-stealing gang are shooting, hacking, stabbing and yelling at each other, spilling more blood than a guy carrying 800 buckets of blood and tripping on a broom or something. At the end, the cop finds his partner, hooked up to a garden hose, barely kept alive. “Why me and not you?” gasps the talking torso in stuttered sub-titles.

What Organ (1996) lacks in a cohesive plot, more than makes up for it with unrelenting gore, body goo and infectious glop. Another bonus: this movie was banned in Japan for “the most graphic depictions of vivisection in cinematic history.” So you see, you don’t need a plot after all!