Screamcicle

FRozen

In a way, Frozen’s (2010) plot of three skiers caught on ski lift 90-feet in the air and left to dangle after the snow lodge shuts down for the week, is just like the predicament of the stranded skiers themselves: no where to go.

Frozen

Two guys and a girl are on the last run of the day. It’s getting dark and conversation-stuttering cold. The lift operator has to take a pee. Lift shuts down, lights go off, screams go unheard.

Frozen

What we’re left with is a LOT of talking and impending frostbite, until one guy decides to jump. He probably figured at the very least a sprained ankle or a fistful of snow jammed up his butt. Too bad he didn’t factor in two compound fractured legs and wild wolves scouring the mountain for something soft and screamy. Even though you hear the sounds of Nature dining, they don’t show ANY of it.

Frozen

Crying turns into frozen leaks coming out the remaining eyeballs. Hypothermia takes care of the rest. The plan is to Spider-Man it across the razor-sharp lift cables to the support beam’s ladder. Then it’s all but a super fun happy slide down the hill to get help so that the endlessly crying chick with icicle burns on her face and hanging in a chair about to break can be rescued. Did someone just ring the dinner bell again?

Cool premise, cold delivery. Where is Frosty the Snowman when you need him?

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