Godzilla Does Not Heart Tokyo

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.

According to Wikipedia, S.O.S., the often used international Morse distress code, does not actually stand for anything and is not an abbreviation, acronym or initialism. Try telling that to Tokyo when Godzilla shows up; S.O.S. could very well stand for “Save Our Sh*t.”

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.

In Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2003), an appeal is being made on behalf of Mothra to return the bones of Godzilla to the sea and to let the dead die in peace. If Japan does not comply, Mothra will reign down upon them moth-y justice from above.

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.

Eyebrows need to be raised here: Godzilla’s bones were used in the construction (!) of Mechagodzilla. Second issue: Godzilla is still alive and drawn to his own bones, which by extension dooms Tokyo to more G-styled ass smack. Issue number three: Mecha-G was built to defend the city from Godzilla, so how the hell are they supposed to give Godzilla his own bones back? Issue number four: If Godzilla doesn’t have any bones, who’s steering him – some guy in a rubber suit? That’s just crazy talk, and I resent you even implying it.

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.The warning comes from the ancestors of the Fairies, those two beer bottle-sized chicks from Infant Island that talk and sing in unison and call Mothra whenever anyone tries to look up their skirts. Mothra wants to leave the human race in peace, yet is willing to burn it into the ground unless the humans do what it says. Makes sense.

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.

As with all the Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla movies, the fight scenes and city destruction is staggeringly cool. Making an appearance 43 years after he did in the original Godzilla vs. The Thing (what Mothra was called back in 1964) is that one guy. Now a grandpa, he looks just like he did back then, except his hair is white, probably from Mothra’s cocoon spray. Man, I hope Mothra doesn’t shoot that gunk on me.

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