Ghost Pants

The Apparition

The Apparition, a new kinda sorta maybe spooky ghost movie opening in haunted theatres near you on August 24, 2012, purposes that while ghosts may be out there, your fear brings them to kinda sorta maybe life, where they kill you in the face.

Okie doke.

While it’s much easier to believe in UFOs and Bigfoot – BECAUSE THEY EXIST – it’s harder to make the sale argument for a ghost. For starters, why do ghosts often appear wearing clothes? Clothing can’t die, no matter how many times you stab a stylish cardigan sweater, put it in your trunk, drive it miles out of town to an obscure lake, wrap it in chains and toss it from your rental rowboat to its fishy-filled resting place.

The Apparition

In the trailer for The Apparition, it’s hard to tell if the conjured-by-a-university parapsychology experiment entity is wearing anything that matches at all. (Ghosts usually show themselves as shadowy blurs and trick of the light, those sneaky butt-heads.) But the apparition that appears isn’t down with fashion as it goes after anyone who believes its real. Kinda like an evil Jesus. And because humans are prone to hysteria and shadowy blurs, the fear is contagious, which means the ghost is gonna get more bang for its buck.

I’ll go see The Apparition even though the premise is weak and it looks like just another spin on the Paranormal Activity craze. Mostly because I need to know where ghosts buy their see-through pants. I could put a pair to good use. For university parapsychology experimental purposes. And parties.

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