Million Dollar Monster

Million Dollar Crocodile

Even a giant rogue gator isn’t immune from the wrath of an angry female. In the new Chinese comedy horror movie, Million Dollar Crocodile (awesome title), a vengeful chick who’s scheduled to be married hunts down an enormous-y predatory croc named Mao, recently an escapee from a wildlife preserve.

Million Dollar Crocodile

And the reason why will make you crap sideways – the crocodile ate her purse, the irony here being that the stylish handbag was probably made out of one of Mao’s relatives. But it wasn’t the tasty purse that got the chick so pissed – she had $100,000 Euros in it. Which means two things: she doesn’t have enough money to get married. That, and the movie title is misleading as $100,000 Euros falls a bit shy of $1,000,000 in bus fare. (And since when does China have Euros? Don’t the Chinese line their pockets with folding Yuans?)

Million Dollar Crocodile

With whatever money she has left not as yet eaten by a marauding bear and/or land raccoon, goes to hiring a pair of hunters to severely admonish the money hungry croc and give it the frowning of a lifetime – as emphasized with shotgun shells.

Million Dollar Crocodile opens in China on June 8, 2012. Hopefully, it won’t cost a million to see it. The  HD trailer shows a kick ass monster gator chomping its way through people and other stuff. So here’s to Million Dollar Crocodile taking a big bite out of the box office. Heh.

Man, that’s a hoot. I don’t mean to make light of the woman who lost all that bling, though. But what is life if you can’t see the humor in a bus-sized reptile eating your purse and all its contents? Then again, pissed off chicks rarely find anything funny.

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