Hate to use bowling alley language, but gosh dang those aliens. Every time you turn around, our so-called “space brothers” are trying to wipe out all life on Earth, then use our freshly destroyed planet for an intergalactic keggar. Such is the case for The 5th Wave, a sci-fi alien invasion flick due to invade movie screens on January 15, 2016.
Starring Chloë Grace Moretz as a survivor trying to save her little brother amidst the alien apocalypse, The 5th Wave refers to the stages of extraterrestrial extermination:
1st Wave – Unplug us so that we have no electricity with which to Tweet.
2nd Wave – Destroy our cities using once friendly tidal waves to flood us and make it so not even Uber can’t get you the flippin’ flap outta town.
3rd Wave – Infect us with an icky disease that can’t be cured with aspirin and beer.
4th Wave – A full-on “put it on the glass” alien invasion.
5th Wave – Take over the bodies/minds/pants of those left standing to mop up any straggling survivors. The b*tch here is that once the aliens get into someone’s head, you can’t tell ’em apart from any other Earth a-hole.
While my plot summation is far more detailed, here’s the official synopsis: “The 5th Wave: four waves of increasingly deadly attacks have left most of Earth decimated. Against a backdrop of fear and distrust, 16-year-old Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz) is on the run, desperately trying to save her younger brother. As she prepares for the inevitable and lethal 5th wave, Cassie teams up with a young man who may become her final hope – if she can only trust him.”
I bet they smooch at some point. Hey, end of the world – might as well get in some booty action before aliens take that from us as well and make it their 6th Wave.
P.S. The 5th Wave is based on the popular young adult science fiction novel of the same name by Rick Yancey. I don’t read young adult science fiction, so like, couldn’t tell you if it was good or not. Maybe it has pictures.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 