Archive for werewolf

Werewolf Posing

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, TV Vixens, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Wolf Moon

Wolf Moon (aka, Dark Moon Rising/2009) is another Twilight (2008) cash-in, this time using a hunky drifter who is really a werewolf instead of a pasty face pin-up vampire. Amy, the small town’s hottest chick, falls for the guy.

Wolf Moon

Not surprising given that everyone else around the out-of-the-way desert town is a greasy douche bag. No, this guy is sensitive, has muscles (which he used to save her from being sexually assaulted by an aforementioned DB), and drives a smokin’ hot car.

Wolf Moon

That he’s a man wolf means he gets a little crazy every 30 days, as well. But he craves human flesh instead of ice cream or gummi bears. Meanwhile, the locals are in an uproar as their livestock and some of their tax-paying citizens are being torn apart. And you know what happens when townsfolk get riled up — just ask Dr. Frankenstein.

Wolf Moon

When Dan does the wolf-up thing, he jumps around and howls at the moon and pretty much looks like a lycandork. But Dan’s wolf dad, an ex-cop whose been chasing him, and the local MILF sheriff and agitated townies are about to come face-to-hair.

Wolf Moon

There’s more lovey-dovey scenes than gut-ripping. There’s a lot of swearing and Viagra™ jokes instead of gut-ripping. There’s more werewolf posing than gut-ripping. A werewolf flick should always have more gut-ripping than smoochy scenes. 

Wisconsin Werewolf

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Scream Queens, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Beast of Bray Road

The Beast of Bray Road (2005) is based on the TRUE story of the REAL Beast of Bray Road, a DOCUMENTED werewolf that ate people necks in Elkhorn, Wisconsin in the 1980s. So there.

The Beast of Bray Road

After the local tavern does last call and boots everyone out the door to get in their cars and safely drive home completely smeared out of their minds, the legendary woolly bully attacks a girl and removes a fair portion of her facial parts. The new sheriff is called in to investigate. He’s better-looking than everyone in this stink hole town, so they figure he’ll solve the crime in no time.

The Beast of Bray Road

More attacks, more bodies, more gore. Throw in some “lookin’ for a fight” rednecks, a dorky cryptozoological hunter, the town skank, some bountiful boobies, boring sex, exciting beer, and an abundantly hairy werewolf that could use 16 trips to the barbershop, and you have a fun if not cheese ball horror movie that’ll take your mind off the AUTHENTICATED Beast of Bray Road.

The Beast of Bray Road

Bonus: The tavern owner is a really hot chick who wants the sheriff to frisk her. He does. But he should really put a leash on her, if you catch my drift. Screw you…I DID NOT just spoil the ending.

An American Werewolf In Hollywood

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

 

An American Werewolf in London

A theme park version of the hit 1981 cult horror movie An American Werewolf in London is coming to Universal Studios Hollywood for Halloween Horror Nights™ this year (2014, in case it slipped your mind).

That’s the good news. The bad news: it’ll cost you $92.00 to have your head bitten off by a werewolf. Actually, you can get a stunning $5 off by purchasing your admission ticket online in advance. Just think of the things you could buy to drink with that all extra folding money in your pocket. It staggers the mind.

An American Werewolf in London

Here’s what a full day’s wage will get you: Guests will begin their horrifying journey as they enter The Slaughtered Lamb, the English countryside pub movie fans will instantly recognize, and experience first-hand what the tavern patrons in the film meant when they cautioned, “Stay on the road, keep clear of the Moors and beware the moon.” After stumbling upon the overgrown wasteland known as the “Moors,” maze-goers will be forced to traverse through dense fog amidst sounds of savage growls and unknown peril ahead.

I bet it’s a werewolf.

An American Werewolf in London

“The team at Universal Studios Hollywood has gone to great lengths to recreate the mood and details of the movie,” says John Landis, the iconic filmmaker responsible for An American Werewolf in London. “The true test for guests will be to see if they are able to endure the scares lurking throughout the maze rather than screaming from room to room. I want them to really absorb the elaborate sets, make-up and special effects custom designed for this experience.”

I have a suggested special effect for you – $50 discount coupons.

An American Werewolf in London

In case you haven’t seen An American Werewolf in London, here’s my take on it: Two college grads decide to hitchhike around Europe instead of getting jobs. They’re attacked by a werewolf while loitering on the Moors of some place in England or Japan. (Like I can tell the difference).

An American Werewolf in London

One dies via a good chewing out, the other survives, but eventually becomes a werewolf and does to humans what a meat grinder does to farm animals. The guy’s in denial about his upgrade even though his dead buddy and victims, who continue to freshness-expire, show up from beyond to warn him this lovely crap will keep happening until he kills himself. I’d say screw you dead guy – I LIKE being a werewolf. Scratch that – I LOVE being a werewolf.

An American Werewolf in London

Throw in a  bunch of wicked sharp comedy bits, a methodic and awesome werewolf transformation scene in broad apartment light (and later again in a porno movie theater), and people getting mauled by some sort of creature, and you have one of the best contemporary werewolf movies ever made. And don’t let any rotted dead guy tell you otherwise.

An American Werewolf in London

Red-Headed Werewolf

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Scream Queens, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

A prequel (but third in the series), Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004) snaps back in time to show where the Fitzgerald sister’s lycanthropic (sorry – word of the day calendar) lineage began its bloody tale/tail/trail.

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

Wandering on horseback through the snowy woods in the early 19th Century (yes, they had snow back then), Ginger and Brigitte come across the aftermath of a werewolf rampage with blood and gunk everywhere. They’re found by an Indian who takes them to the improvised-fortified Fort Baily, a trading outpost (d.b.a., Northern Region Trading Company). That there are deep claw marks on the outer walls suggests something was trying to get in without permission.

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

The fort is occupied by a handful of men, including a doctor who has a practical approach to determining if you’re a werewolf, an uptight military guy who doesn’t brush his teeth but wants to shoot everybody in the face, and a preacher who wants to burn the girls at the stake because they’re tempting to the flesh (duh).

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

Aside from all that stuff, life at Fort About To Be Eaten just doesn’t seem right. This is probably due to the nightly werewolf attacks. The preacher, wanting to purge the fort of its sins, lets a werewolf in and traps it with the sisters. Barely escaping, Ginger, the hot red-head sister, is later bitten by a child werewolf hidden in the fort’s happy walls. Then the real fun starts.

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

More intense confrontations with the stressed-out fort dwellers, more werewolf attacks (i.e., neck-biting/face-ripping), and the growing of fur where there was no fur before. The final werewolf siege is pretty dang hairy (ahem), but it’s the showdown between Ginger – now well on her way to needing a shave – and the bully army guy that’s the icing on this hair cake.

A cool original take on the werewolf theme. And hey, the werewolves themselves don’t look like Halloween rental costumes. If they were gonna screw up this flick, that would’ve been the point to do so.

Bat People

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , on February 8, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Bat People

The Bat People (aka, It Lives By Night/1974). Bat people? I don’t think so. Bat person, yes.

So who is the unlucky live by nighter? Dr. John Beck, was on vacation with his new wife in one of those tourist caves where you can go deep in, fart, and hear it echo. (That’s actually pretty fun.)

The Bat People

While looking at exciting pointy rocks instead of feeling up his new wife, Beck’s bitten by a bat. And like being nipped by a werewolf, the doc slowly starts to transform into the movie’s misleading title.

The Bat People

While he spends the next 80 minutes attempting to feed on unwilling donors, none of which die in a gory and graphically pleasing way.

The Bat People

The local ass wipe sheriff gets mauled pretty good, though, which turns out to be the money shot, because when they finally do show Bat Face (in the last few minutes), he looks like a toy bat person. And not an expensive one still in the wrapper, either.

It Lives By Night

You know the stuff that comes out of bats? This movie is a lot like that.