Archive for Volkswagen

Sci-Fi Guitars, Mechanical Dogs, Victorian Ghosts

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Parallel Universe

Without question, Fender™ guitars are some of the coolest things ever created (that, and vending machines). Now Fender.com™ has issued a limited edition space surf guitar poster called Parallel Universe Jazz Tele®, designed by Ivan Minsloff. It’s $60 and limited to 300, so yes, someone needs to buy this for me.

Paralelle Universe

From the press release: “Ivan Minsloff generally associates the Jazzmaster with either the 90’s indie-rock of Dinosaur Jr. and My Bloody Valentine or with ‘60s surf-rock bands — dudes in matching sweaters. Considering the hybrid, Frankenstein vibe of the Parallel Universe series he decided that a sci-fi surf design would be fun…and it was! Limited to 300 units worldwide, and inspired by those classic ’60s science fiction movie posters, it features surf green ink as a nod to the guitar.

While I go out and wait by my mailbox for someone to send this poster to me, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be as cool as Fender™ guitars or surf green ink…

A.X.L.

A.X.L. (August 24, 2018)
“Miles is a down-on-his-luck teenage motorcyclist who stumbles upon an advanced robotic dog that’s part of the military’s next-generation, artificial intelligence program. With help from a girl whom he has a crush on, Miles must protect his new friend when it becomes the target of rogue scientists who want their creation back.”

A robo-dog. Does that mean you have to feed it empty beer cans and old silverware? And what about afterward — does it pee oil? Do you end up stepping in piles of scrap?

The Little Stranger

THE LITTLE STRANGER (August 31, 3018)
Dr. Faraday, the son of a housemaid, who has built a life of quiet respectability as a country doctor. During the long hot summer of 1948, he is called to a patient at Hundreds Hall, where his mother once worked. The Hall has been home to the Ayres family for more than two centuries. But it is now in decline and its inhabitants – mother, son and daughter – are haunted by something more ominous than a dying way of life. When he takes on his new patient, Faraday has no idea how closely, and how disturbingly, the family’s story is about to become entwined with his own.”

Cool — a period piece ghost story with mystery and intrigue. Those two words go together like intrigue and mystery. This also means there will be lots of characters, no nudity and clothes that were once thought to be quite fashionable. Have to say, though; the good ‘ol black rock T-shirt transcends trends and even time itself.

Bumblebee

BUMBLEBEE (December 21, 2018)
“On the run in the year 1987, Bumblebee the Autobot seeks refuge in a junkyard in a small California beach town. Charlie, on the brink of turning 18 years old and trying to find her place in the world, soon discovers the battle-scarred and broken Bumblebee. When Charlie revives him, she quickly learns that this is no ordinary yellow Volkswagen.”

Great. Just we didn’t need or ask for — a Transformers spin-off, this time set in the ‘80s and the car/robot is a Volkswagen Beetle™. Give me a golf cart that could turn into a robot, then you’d have my attention.

The Unseen

THE UNSEEN (2018/2019)
“A man, who years earlier mysteriously abandoned his family and isolated himself in a small northern town, returns for one last chance to reconnect with his troubled daughter. When she goes missing, he risks everything to find her, including exposing the fact that he is becoming invisible.”

And invisible father has been done before with Ghost Dad (1990). Still, it’d be neat to be transparent. One could skip happily through the grocery store wearing nothing but a smile. Kinda liberating when you think about it.

Gappa Gappa Hey!

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Monster From A Prehistoric Planet

Playmate magazine is celebrating however many years in publication by opening a South Seas island theme park. They need concession stands, handi-cap accessible restrooms, twirly rides, alligator ticket-takers and exotic stuff from real islands. So they send an expedition to Obelisk Island get some. And boy, do they hit pay dirt — a Volkswagen-sized egg that looked like it came out of a six-passenger b*tthole.

Monster From A Prehistoric Planet

The egg hatches and out pops a prehistoric parrot called Gappa. (Note: Gappa is not it’s name, but rather in reference to a race of prehistoric birds with f’d-up beaks.) Bringing the Gappa back to Japan was the first mistake. Thinking it didn’t have parents was the other. Gappa starts growing at a rate of a foot and a half per day. In a month it’ll be as tall as all the other Gappi in his school.

Monster From A Prehistoric Planet

Finally noticing junior has gone missing, mama and papa Gappa come calling. Both are 200 feet tall, have leathery gargoyle wings, honkin’ beaks, a Godzilla-esque tail and a shark fin sticking out of their skulls. Quite stylish by any prehistoric standard. Attempts by the military to impede Mr. and Mrs. Gappa’s search ends up with the Armed Forces getting the business end of a beak. And speaking of bird mouths, when the Gappa arrive out of Sagami Bay, one has an octopus in its mouth — and keeps it there for actually quite a while (they’re kinda chewy). Calculating scale, the octopus is roughly the size of an underwater school bus.

Monster From A Prehistoric Planet

Someone in a lab coat gets the idea to bring baby Gappa back to its parents so that mom and pop might quit breaking Tokyo. (They don’t call ’em scientists for nothing.) Everyone involved manages to get the little squirt into a net and lift it with blimps, which are towed by helicopters and delivered to the airport. (There are no more planes as the Gappa canceled all arriving/departing flights.)

Monster From A Prehistoric Planet

The Gappas are reunited and fly happily into the sunset, which was made really pretty by smoke and flames from the burning city. “If there’s one thing the Gappa taught me, is that life is not all about ambition,” exclaims one scientist. Glad he got arrived at some introspection.

Monster From A Prehistoric Planet

Made in the turbulent 1967s, Monster From A Prehistoric Planet (aka, Giant Beast Gappa, Daikyojû Gappa, Gappa: The Triphibian Monster) is full of cheese-y fun effects, one million explosions, wholesale destruction, and a little Japanese boy painted to look like an island native. (I could tell because his lips were pink while the rest of him was coconut brown.)

And good times were had by all.