Archive for vodka

Venomous Coffee, Demon Soul-Sucker, Biker Biters

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Moldy Mugs

What instead of you drinking coffee or discount vodka from your favorite mug, the mug drinks from you? That’s the genius behind Moldy Mugs, a series of handcrafted and expertly designed (by Joe Rowles) horror drinking cups (ranging from 12 oz. to 17 oz.).

While these mugs carry a hefty price ($90.00 for a the 12 oz. version), how flippin’ cool would it be to wrap your coffee/discount vodka sucking mouth hole around one of these magnificent hand-washable art pieces?

Moldy Mugs

While you FINISH READING this blog, click HERE to visit Moldy Mugs — featuring their new Venom™ entry — and get ready to have the life sucked out of you for a change. In the meantime, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not transport you the way discount vodka never fails to do…

Another Soul

ANOTHER SOUL (available now)
Megan cannot stop the nightmares. Her parents, Rob and Susan, are at their wit’s end. When a couple suggest Megan’s soul may be the target of a soul-hungry demon, the family find themselves in a battle for Megan’s life.”

Megan rhymes with Regan, another young girl the target of an evil entity about 45 years ago. So would this be a rip-off 1973’s The Exorcist, but with higher-def projectile vomiting? Of the 23 possible answers, The Magic 8-Ball™ says, “Signs point to yes.”

Down A Dark Hall

DOWN A DARK HALL (August 17, 2018)
Kit, a difficult young girl, is sent to the mysterious Blackwood Boarding School run by eccentric headmistress Madame Duret. While exploring the labyrinthine corridors of the school, Kit and her classmates discover that Blackwood Manor hides an age-old secret rooted in the paranormal.”

I liked it better when it was called Suspiria (Italy, 1977).

Howlers

HOWLERS (2018)
“A mysterious monster hunter from the Old West who returns from the grave to stop a bloodthirsty werewolf motorcycle gang from terrorizing a small town.”

Not a new concept. Anyone remember the cult schlock classic Werewolves on Wheels (1971)? If you don’t, your mom does.

West of Hell

WEST OF HELL (2018)
“A gunslinger and a vengeful ex-slave board a midnight train to Atlanta. They discover that the train is haunted by a sinister force…and may not be headed to Atlanta after all.”

Yep, they got on the train to New Jersey by accident.

Demonic Booze ’n Smoke Monster

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

AfterDeath

It sucks when you die and then wake up on a deserted beach, cold gray weather, a lighthouse with beams that give you mega migraines, no 7-Elevens™ within sight, and satanic black smoke exploding with a bang all around you. To top it off, there’s a shack-y house nearby with three girls and one lucky guy. They’re dead, too, but don’t care as they’re having sex with their clothes on (is that even legal?), drinking gallons of vodka from an endless supply of bottles, and blasting dumb rave music while they do all of the above. Oh, and there’s a giant sorta electric bubble all around the house and its getting smaller. Time for more vodka!

AfterDeath

Doesn’t take long for one of ‘em to figure out they’re dead and in Hell’s waiting room. But why, oh why are they there? Connecting long-shot dots, all of five people were at an over-capacity nightclub, dancing like idiots, when the roof caved in. All washed up on the beach and took over the abandoned house to party, drink massive amounts of refreshing adult beverages and have clothed sex.

AfterDeath

While this is going on, one girl keeps disappearing and reappearing. Wish I could do that. Then the smartest girl figures out they each did something not cool, which put them in this predicament. Arguments ensure and the one guy yells and curses and ends up on the beach, where the demonic smoke monster has non-consensual relations with the back side of his swim suit area. The girls all think this is funny. It actually kinda is as he’s a loudmouth punk.

AfterDeath

They end up killing holler boy and manage to catch the demon smoke monster in a wooden crate. In order to get it to answer their questions, they douse it with booze. Pffft! — I do the same thing all the time. They discover they’re all screwed and that the sorta electric bubble is gonna put a stop to all their groaning and moaning.

AfterDeath

AfterDeath (2015) is an interesting but kinda confusing horror movie in that you really don’t know what’s going on during the grand finale. Had something to do with one of ‘em needing to go to Heaven before the bubble bursts their bubble, and one going to that…other place. So yeah, you do get to know why the main character is there (I really want to spoil this for you, but I’m feeling charitable today), and while the movie does end rather abruptly, it left one blazing question unanswered: where can one get the crate that never runs out of booze?

Alien Rock Spiders

Posted in Aliens, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Apollo 18

The real surprise wasn’t that we discovered extraterrestrial rock spiders on the moon, it’s that we never brought ’em back and figured out how to make money off them.

Apollo 18

Apollo 18, a top secret three-man moon landing mission back in the ’70s, was a Dept. of Defense grocery run. What they instructed the astronauts to do is set up a bunch of cameras to “spy” on Russia. Kinda hard to do when the Russians already have a lunar module just around the crater, it’s pilot found dead and his corpse drained of any and all vodka.

Apollo 18

Doesn’t take long before interrupted signals, U.S. flags uprooted and lunar rovers looking like a destruction derby start rattling the nerves of the two guys on the moon’s surface. (The other guy was orbiting and thanking the lucky stars around him that he wasn’t being attacked by rock spider aliens).

Apollo 18

As “found footage” goes, the recreation of the moon landing and authentic look of our most boring space neighbor, is pretty cool. And even as kinda neat as the spider aliens are, all we get to do is watch the astronauts’ impending doom. The Dept. of Defense throws in an obvious twist, something you could’ve seen from Mars. But without more backstory, Apollo 18 (2011), as ambitious as it is, lands on a flat surface. Kinda like the moon, home of alien rock spiders who have no respect for the American flag, those hippies.

Canadian Bat-Man

Posted in Bigfoot, Evil, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , on January 9, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

It Waits

A carnivorous monster lives in the woods and slaughters campers/hikers by opening their chests and faces like Jell-O™ snack-packs. Big deal – Bigfoot’s been doing that for years.

It Waits

A sexy, alcoholic chick forest ranger lives with her feathered comfort device (a parrot), thoughts and vodka in a ranger tower. She needed the solitude (and booze) because she killed her best friend while out partying and driving drunk. Guilt makes her reclusive, but not unable to have sex with other forest rangers.

It Waits

But while she’s letting guys explore her mountainous regions, a creature of some sort is making landfill out of backpackers stinking up the woods. That night the monster takes a chunk out of her leg for tasting purposes. He leaves, but will come back when he’s more hungry. (He was full of campers and couldn’t possibly eat another bite, thank you.)

It Waits

The monster in the Canadian It Waits (2005) sprouts huge bat wings and flies off. If I had a red flag, I’d throw it right now; its almost identical to the creature in Jeepers Creepers (2001), minus the hat and pants. Regardless, an inevitable confrontation ensues and two sticks of convenient dynamite solves everyone’s problems. Except mine.

It Waits

And the bird? It’ll probably be back for a sequel once his agent irons out the details and co-producer credit.