Archive for Uwe Boll

Bigfoot vs. Zombies

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Bigfoot vs. Zombies

Bigfoot vs. Zombies (releasing February 23, 2016) seems so obvious, and yet it took this long to pair ’em up in an epic showdown worthy of a pay-per-view.

Bigfoot War

Not so fast – this concept was preconceived by Abandoned Cinema back in 2010 as Bigfoot vs. The Zombies. It was also optioned by maligned German horror/sci-fi director Uwe Boll in 2014 as Bigfoots vs. Zombies. And it’s a theme in Eric S. Brown’s Bigfoot War book series, specifically Bigfoot War: Outbreak (2013). Of course I know all of this. Me ’n BF are BFFs.

Bigfoot vs. Zombies

So how did Bigfoot get dragged into battling the undead when he’s been like Switzerland in the ongoing zombie conflict? Thank science. They created the “toxic cocktail” that leaked into the local population’s water supply (public mud puddles, YMCA bathtubs, gas station restrooms), thereby creating flesh-eating zombies. (Note: The didn’t say anything about fur-eating zombies. Maybe the undead don’t like hair in their food like the rest of us.)

Bigfoot vs. Zombies

So Bigfoot, tired of all this zombie nonsense that keeps interrupting his nature walks, steps in and starts swingin’. My money’s on B. All of this potentially leaves the door wide open for a sequel that has Bigfoot turning into a zombie. They should call it World War B. (That’s now intellectual property, by the way.)

Monster Clash

Zombies Take You To School

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

House of the Dead 2

A college science professor has been experimenting with a new recipe to reanimate the deceased in House of the Dead 2, the 2005 sequel to the incredibly wretched House of the Dead (2003), which was based on a video game. (What, Super Mario – Corpse Defiler not inspirational enough?)

House of the Dead 2

The professor’s test subject – a hot dead chick – comes back to life and turns his head into an opened-face sandwich. From there the nu-zombie infects the rest of the student body. A special team is assembled, led by a supermodel whose job it is to find the first generation zombie, get a blood sample, then hurry it back to the lab to work up an antidote, which she claims could be as easily as treating the flu. As if.

House of the Dead 2

She has to go deep into the heavily-occupied territory of Zombie U to do this. The zombies are referred to as hyper-sapiens. I refer to them as zombies. And this is where any remaining believability goes out with the bath water. The team punch and kick as zombies dog-pile on ’em, and yet somehow manage to survive without so much as a single scratch, bite or the sniffing of undead flatulence. What ev.

House of the Dead 2

As stupid as the premise is, HotD2 manages to score a little better than it’s predecessor. OK, that’s not saying much. But the flesh-eating scenes are very glisten-y. There’s always points for glisten-y.