Archive for Ultraman

Ultra Dead

Posted in Aliens, Asian Sci-Fi, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ultra Man

While not a movie, this particular TV episode of 1966’s Ultra Man was unique in that our building tall hero dies while trying to save the world from extraterrestrial-filled flying saucers. That, and it’s black and white (all of his shows were in color) and dubbed into Castilian (think Gomez Addams) and televised in Argentina in the ’70s. Also, the characters are Japanese. The only word that sums this up is WTF?

Ultra Man

Quick history lesson: Ultraman is part of a race of galaxy guardians from the M78 Nebula, or Land of Light. (They probably don’t need light bulbs or flashlights.) These guys have awesome powers and promote peace across the Universe. Good luck with that – the citizens of Uranus are a bunch of a-holes/b-holes.

Ultra Man

So a fleet of UFOs invade our personal space, blowing up fighter jets with destructo beams. One lands, pops its top, and a giant balloon inflates. Once it ka-BOOMS, there stands an equal-in-Ultraman height bug-esque alien creature that uses beams to blast our real estate and his foe.

Ultra Man

Ultraman arrives seemingly out of nowhere and does battle with the alien butt wad. But wait, the wad creature is resistant to Ultraman’s tricks of the trade and throws it back at him two-fold. How embarrassing is that?

Ultra Man

As Ultraman is rendered inert and falls face first like a stiff surfboard, he goes into a death dream where he’s fighting Godzilla and some other weirdo monster, and beating the scales off them. Happy trails, Ultraman.

Ultra Man

Then, out of the freakin’ sky, another Ultraman coming to claim the carcass of his fellow countryman. Planking in mid-air, this Ultraman spins super fast and uses the giant meteor/space ship to suck up the remains of the dying Ultraman. (He’s been alive for 20,000 years, so no regrests – it was a good run.)

There are other Ultramen in this meteor office space and, after a few choice words in Castilian, transports the corpse off to the Land of Light while the Science Patrol wave and yell goodbye: “Ootra Mon – Sayonara!”

Dry your eyes, for there are entire Nebuli full of replacement parts.

Ultra Pants

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ultraman X

Do you ever take time to stop what you’re doing during a busy day and wonder just who the heck Ultraman is? I do all the time, usually while driving on the freeway. Can’t help it. As the iconic Japanese super crusader who wears a shockingly revealing uniform goes, Ultraman, around since 1966, became a pop culture phenomenon over the course of 40 TV shows and 29 movies, and remains a hugely bankable puncher of giant monsters.

Ultraman 1966Yeah, there’s more than one Ultraman – a legion, in fact – going through countless redesigns, upgrades, tighter super britches… But by and large, whoever is calling themselves an Ultraman these days walks in big shoes. Very big shoes, as Ultramen can grow or “enlarge” tall enough to look into the 20th floor Yokohama Landmark Tower.

Ultraman X

A bit of ultra education: Ultraman is the story of a series of “Ultra-heroes” that arrive on Earth to fight giant, evil monsters set on destroying the world. Each Ultraman can grow to over 200 feet tall, and employs a variety of energy emission powers, as well as kick ass, hand-to-hand martial arts fighting styles. (I could totally be an Ultraman as I have a variety of energy emission powers if I’ve been eating at Taco Bell™.)

Ultraman X

Ultraman Ginga S: Decisive Battle! Ultra 10 Warriors!! came out in 2015. But thanks to Tsuburaya Productions, Ultraman X is scheduled for the big screen in the Spring of 2016. Not sure if the new trailer that just showed up online is from that movie. Really hope it is, though; Ultraman – all skinny, red and silvery – does a downtown fist-y battle with a horned kaiju that looks like a second-stringer from Pacific Rim (2013).

Ultraman X

That people-filled buildings are ground into the ground, isn’t the disturbing part. It’s the slow pan up between Ultraman’s legs that has you averting your gaze. Note to filmmakers: How about a little less “ultra” in the super-tight tights area – kids are watching this thing.

Ultra Crotch