Archive for tractor

Eating Corn With A Pitchfork

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Scarecrow Slayer

As a four-year-old riding on a farm tractor at midnight, plowing the fields (couldn’t it wait until morning?), Tony Todd (Candyman in a previous life) watched his dad get pitch-forked by a demonically possessed scarecrow. At this point we don’t know if the pitchfork was real or just a prop.

Scarecrow Slayer

When Tony grew up, he wrote numerous books about the forked up cornfield guardian and learned that yes, booze can solve just about all of your problems. He even managed to capture the darn thing, tied it up in said field of corn and keep his shotgun and mind-clearing whiskey at the ready.

Scarecrow Slayer

Along comes two frat pledges whose job is to steal the scarecrow and bring it back to the dorm (probably to have relations with it). Tony, senses amplified by alcohol, runs out with all guns blazing and shoots one of the kids in the stomach-y area. Through the magic of Art Institute™ special effects, the boy’s soul is sucked into the scarecrow, thereby reanimating it and setting out on a murderous vegetable-esque rampage.

Scarecrow Slayer

Tony made two mistakes in regards to Scarecrow Slayer (2003): one was starring in it. The second was not having enough booze to blot out this epic career fail.