Archive for theology

Old Testament Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

The horribly disfigured Dr. Anton Phibes was three things before that car crash back in 1921. (He was racing to the hospital to be by his wife’s side who died to death on the operating table before Phibes could get there.) 1. He was an expert in theology, the study of God and religious gunk. 2. He was an expert in music, and even built a robo-band in his secret hideaway to accompany his piped organ. 3. He was a master of revenge, setting ingenious traps inspired by the Old Testament’s ten plagues of Egypt on the doctors who failed to keep his gorgeous wife from freshness expiring. It’s clear who Jigsaw’s mentor is.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

Even though he was presumed dead, Phibes somehow managed to survive and has plotted his plot every since. He can’t talk as he drank a fiery gasoline cocktail that fried his larynx. But he can stick a plug into his neck that runs into an speaker to converse through his damaged yapper. Clearly, Tom Waits has a mentor.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

Phibes also has a hottie assistant named Vulnavia who is mute, the best kind of assistant to have. They conspire to track down the physicians and exact vengeance in the corresponding ten plagues, which includes – but is not limited to – bats, frogs, locusts and…dripping acid. I’m not up on bible stuff, but if Moses used acid on the Pharaoh, that would totally kick scripture.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

One by one the doctors are luridly discharged from life, while Phibes celebrates by blow-torching wax head likenesses of his victims. His robo-band – Dr. Phibes’ Clockwork Wizards (cool name; I’d buy their album) – provides a nice big band jazz-y soundtrack. But all of this is forming clues as apparent to Scotland Yard’s Inspector Trout. (Insert your own joke here.)

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

Phibes, though, is saving the best death for Dr. Vesalius, the head physician who preceded over Victoria’s failed surgery. Capturing Vesalius’ son, Phibes straps the boy to a surgical table in the basement of his mega-mansion, with a coiled tube full of skin-melting acid making it’s way towards the boy’s unhappy face. Vesalius is called to the trap and has six minutes to surgically extract a key from the unconscious boy’s torso, which will unlock the locks holding him to the table. (You may recall this similar scene employed in 2004’s Saw.)

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

While Vesalius is operating and sweating like an Old testament pig, Phibes, through his robo-throat, confesses what this is all about. His ultimate goal is to seal himself in a coffin that holds his wife’s preserved body in a shiny pajama robe, and descend under the floor of his mega-mansion while Vulnavia destroys the Clockwork Wizards. (She need not bother; music critics already did that, calling their music “stiff and lifeless.” Ouch.)

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971) is great black horror comedy, raising the bar on revenge and giving an homage nod to The Phantom of the Opera (1925). Better yet, I hear the unspeaking Vulnavia is single – mute button included.

American Demons, Swiss Zombies, German Sci-Fi

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 3, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ava's Possession

While 2016 got off to a bumpy start in January, with the upcoming releases of four new horror/sci-fi movies announced in the first few molting days of February gives one hope that the rest of the year won’t suck buttock.

First up is Ava’s Possession, arriving March 4, 2016: “Ava is recovering from demonic possession. With no memory of the past month, she must attend a Spirit Possessions Anonymous support group to figure out what happened. Ava’s life was hijacked by a demon, now it’s time to get it back.”

Demonic possession is always good for the soul.

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies

Gonna have to wait ‘til the end of 2016 to see Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies. I’m okay with that –gives me something positive to look forward to in December besides egg nog. Here’s what AotLZ is about:

“Steve, a young professional snowboarder, his girlfriend Branka and fellow snowboarder Josh get left behind on the mountain. They seek shelter in a garish, loud aprés-ski tavern that’s hosting an all-night party for the longest night of the year. Things go from bad to worse when a scientific experiment conducted by a local entrepreneur unleashes an epidemic of zombies and mutant wildlife, but this is mostly lost on the local drunkards as they themselves are not always so easy to distinguish from zombies. Steve, Branka and Josh have to find a way to survive this hellish night.”

If they’re looking to cast local drunkards, my calendar is wide open.

The Possession Experiment

Speaking of being possessed, The Possession Experiment arrives in the European market on February 13, 2016 and offers YET ANOTHER spin on the curiously popular demonic possession/exorcism theme: “Brandon, a theology student, is teamed with a classmate and are led to investigate a multiple homicide/suicide that eventually is discovered to have been an exorcism gone horribly wrong. Brandon quickly becomes obsessed with the event, and decides the only way to research this topic is to undergo it himself. Brandon realizes that though he was incredibly intrigued by it, he has taken on more than he can handle.”

Performing an exorcism on yourself seems a lot like that Cinnamon Challenge on YouTube™.

EZO1 Madness

Horror not your cup of blood? Then you might want to check out the oddly titled EZO1 Madness (releasing 2016), the first independent sci-fi movie coming from Germany in more than two decades, or 20 years. Described as “combining breathless action in an interesting take on Eastern and Western philosophy and classic horror elements.”

I’m all about philosophy, so this one could be good brain food: “EZO1 Madness is set in a post-apocalyptic world, where the last of human kind are hunted by giant monsters, zombies, genetically enhanced soldiers and ancient machines of war.”

EZO1 Madness is set to make the indie film circuit in 2016. Until such time I’ll go back to reading The Incoherence of the Philosophers For Dummies.