Archive for The Wolfman

A London Werewolf in London

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Wolfman

“Lawrence, you’ve been a very bad boy…” 

The understatement of the century. And it accurately frames the 2010 re-boot of Universal’s least-groomed monster, The Wolfman.

The Wolfman

After tearing up the 1891 countryside and all of its inhabitants like sale-priced steak tartar, Lawrence Talbot, actor and marauding werewolf, should probably be sent to his room. Or the dungeon, at the very least. And the drag of it is, it’s not Larry’s fault. He was only in town to attend his brother’s funeral and to find out who — or what — killed him. The Wolfman

The locals think he was dispatched by the dancing bear the gypsies keep tied up at their camp out in the werewolf-infested woods. (In all fairness, the clues do point to a criminal bear, dance floor skills notwithstanding.) During a full moon raid on the camp, the police are overwhelmed by something whizzing by and opening the Christmas presents that are human torsos, limbs, and heads. Larry pursues, only to be mortally wounded by the beast. Whew — the bear finally has a corroborated alibi!

The Wolfman

Larry’s healing powers are remarkable. Sir John, his dad, encourages Larry to let the “inner beast run wild.” (In those days, that meant eating people, not zooming around without underwear.) After a particularly robust night out on the moors removing heads, arms, and those icky wiggly organs, the cops show up the next day and arrest Larry, taking him to Lamberth Mental Care Health Facility (“asylum” for short), where he was once interred as a kid for treatment for social problems after seeing his mother die before his eyes. Yes, this is a clue to his current status.

The Wolfman

Larry the Wolf gets loose in London and has a few hours to kill before calling it a night. He doesn’t waste time wasting people; you’d think there was a raw meat parade in town by the way he chews up the sights.

The Wolfman

Gwen Conliffe, Larry’s dead brother’s fiancé, becomes hip to the chili con carnage and thinks she can help Larry. Don’t girls know anything? Love isn’t the answer  — heavy artillery is.

The Wolfman

The final sequence is a real tail-puller, with Larry coming to grips with his disease and getting into one last dogfight before… C’mon, you knew how this was gonna end. Or did you? They wisely left the pet door open for a sequel that sadly never happened. Otherwise, a good time was had by all. Up to, and including the dancing bear. 

Artificial Werewolves

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Dark Moon Rising

Always up for a new werewolf movie, but after watching the trailer for the poorly titled Dark Moon Rising (releasing August 4, 2015), I have some reservations. First, the plot…

“A group of shape-shifting werewolves descend upon a small town in search of a girl who is re-born once every 2,000 years. She holds the key to their survival, and all will die who stand in their way.”

Seems reasonable enough. But digital werewolves are not my flea bag. Something about artificial hair and fangs just ain’t cool, man. Even though they self-proclaim Dark Moon Rising as “An American Werewolf in London takes a bite out of Near Dark in this bloody, unique take on The Wolfman legend,” computer generated monsters are suck-o.

Dark Moon Rising

P.S. There was another werewolf movie called Dark Moon Rising that came out in 2009. You’d think the filmmakers of the 2015 version would’ve done a bit of homework. But hey, Hollywood – birthplace of the copy machine.

Dreadtime Stories

The upcoming Dreadtime Stories anthology shows more promise, and even sports a werewolf in one of its 10 (!) stories. I watched the trailer; Now that’s some quality fur and fang action. Here’s an overview…

“A party turns bizarre when a malevolent book makes its way into the hands of the attendees who reveal its tales of monsters, madmen and the supernatural…”

Dreatime Stories

Dreadtime Stories features more than 50 cast members, the bulk of which we can only hope will suffer painful and splattery fates for our entertainment. But we’re gonna have to wait a bit to experience the mayhem as Dreadtime Stories isn’t slated to come out until early 2016.

That sucks. Heck, by then I could be converted into a religious nutcase, renounce all my horror movie ways and quit drinking refreshing adult beverages. Just kidding. Not gonna happen. If it did, that would be the scariest horror story of all time.

Merry Christmas, Dracula

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Christmas At Draculas

Even though it’s grammatically wonky Christmas at Draculas (2015) is in contention for best horror movie title of the decade.

Just think what the holiest time of the year (besides Halloween and National Beer Day) would be like with the Prince of Darkness. I mean, what would you give the guy who has everything? A chew toy? A cherry Slurpee™? A Groupon™ for tooth polish?

So here’s the plot, which has me drooling all over my National Beer Day shirt:

“Told through the eyes of The Invisible Man, Count Dracula has hit rock bottom, so with the help of his noble companion Igor, he decides to throw the greatest Christmas party of all time.”

“He invites The Wolfman, Medusa, The Wicked Witch, Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and The Invisible Man. But when two killers arrive at the door, things slowly begin to spiral out of control. And Dracula’s faith lies in the hands of one creatureDeath himself!”

I only have one question – How do I score an invite to this party? If anyone can hook a brother up, I’d appreciate it.