Been looking for a another Bigfoot T-shirt to add to my growing wardrobe of mythological creature-wear. Found this one: a silhouette of Bigfoot and the proclamation: Hide and Seek Champion. Sheer genius. So much so, it now replaces my Slenderman shirt, which failed to live up to its name. (Didn’t make me look slender at all.)
While I continue in my bid to become a cryptid fashionista, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not go with anything in your drawers…
THE NIGHT EATS THE WORLD (March 7, 2018 (France) 2018/2019 (US)
“After waking up in an apartment where only the night before a party was raging, Sam is forced to come to grips with reality: he is now alone and the living dead have invaded the streets of Paris. Petrified with fear, Sam is going to have to barricade himself inside the building and organize his survival. But is he really the sole survivor?”
It’s like they’re not even trying to come up with a plot. So stock is this zombie movie premise, I bet Sam goes back into the building to get caught up on sleep.
LOWLIFE (April 6, 2018)
“Set amidst the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles, Lowlife zigzags back and forth in time as it charts how fate — and a ruthless crime boss — connects three down-and-out reprobates mixed up in an organ harvesting scheme that goes from bad to worse to off-the-rails insane. Careening from savagely funny to just plain savage to unexpectedly heartfelt, this audacious thriller serves up nonstop adrenaline alongside hard-hitting commentary about the state of contemporary America.”
It’s not in the press release, but Lowlife stars a fallen Mexican wrestler with rage issues and a “regrettable face tattoo.” That’d be a great name for a band.
THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL (2018)
“They are known as myths, lore, and folk tales. Created to give logic to mankind’s darkest fears, these stories laid the foundation for what we now know as the horror genre.”
For some of us, The Field Guide to Evil is merely walking into The Tug Tavern. You WILL encounter your darkest fear just inside the bathroom door.
TELL ME YOUR NAME (2018/2019)
“After a troubled childhood, Ashley searches for a connection, and unknowingly invites in a demonic force, which leaves her loved ones fighting for her soul.”
I’ve always wondered why demonic forces want your soul. It’s not like they’re collectibles to put on a shelf next to the jars of grape-flavored eyeballs and still-beating hearts in maraschino juice. That, and most souls are not quite mint-in-box. Like mine, for instance.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 