Archive for The Lighthouse

Haunted Houses, Haunted Babies, Haunted Sailors

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Neibolt House

If you ever wanted to live in the Neibolt Street house (aka, the Well House), forget it — Pennywise, The Dancing Clown from It (2017) already squats there. If you’ve seen the movie, you already know what he does to trespassing guests. But skilled artist Lance Cardinal built an excruciatingly detailed one-of-a-kind miniature of the house (46”x 30”x30”), complete with light up interior and a full front yard and fences as seen in the pretty dang scary flick.

Neibolt House

From Lance himself: “I really loved the film and thought the production design was amazing! As soon I saw this house in the film I knew I had to re-create it in miniature. The entire thing was created from scratch, using pictures from the set that was built for the film in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada.”

Neibolt House

Amazingly, it took Lance two months to complete the iconic haunted house. The good news: he’s selling it. Find him on Facebook™ or e-mail him at lancecardinal75@gmail.com for the price and some other incredible pieces he’s putting up for snaggings.

Neibolt House

While I go look for the Neibolt House on Zillow™ (crossing fingers it isn’t being used as an Airbnb™), here are few now available/upcoming horror movies that may or may not be as scary as Pennywise’s downstairs toilet (kids aren’t the only things that float down there)…

The Child Remains

THE CHILD REMAINS (available now)
“Inspired by the shocking true story of the infamous ‘Butterbox Babies’, an expectant couple’s intimate weekend turns to terror when they discover their secluded country inn is a haunted maternity home where unwanted infants and mothers were murdered. A twisted, disturbing supernatural thriller about the evil that lurks behind the colorful postcard.”

Makes sense that a couple expecting a rug rat would embark on an intimate weekend — no risk of getting knocked up, so go nuts. Okay, that sounded better in my head.

Play or Die

PLAY OR DIE (July 2, 2019)
Lucas and Chloe, two passionate gamers, decide to participate to Paranoia, a very exclusive escape game. After solving a first riddle, they make it to the location of the finale in an abandoned mental hospital, lost in a frightening forest. There, four other participants are waiting on them. They soon realize that only one of them will get out of there alive.”

Yep, someone actually got paid to think up this story line. That person was overpaid.

Ashes

ASHES (July 9, 2019)
“After a family’s estranged aunt passes away, they’re reluctant and creeped out to receive her cremated ashes. But when a series of supernatural misfortunes beset them, they’ll have to go through Hell to be rid of her angry spirit.”

Pffft — Just kick her in the ash hole.

The Lighthouse

THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019)
The Lighthouse is a fantasy horror story set in the world of old sea-faring myths.”

Old sea-faring myths include octopus tickling games, sea horse rodeos, harpoon acupuncture, and topless mermaids sitting on ocean rocks while combing sand crabs out of their fore and aft hair with carelessly discarded clam shells.

Superhero Cheese, Sober Psychotics, Demonic Stuff

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 1, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Venom Cheese

As first reported by Bloody-Disgusting.com, the next time your in Jakarta, Indonesia, make sure the black goo covering your steak/burger/fries is the new Venom Cheese and not something that came out of a septic tank and/or a squatting stray animal out back.

Venom Cheese

Yep, Willie Brothers Steak & Cheese Restaurant (who the heck puts melted cheese instead of ketchup on steaks?) is paying homage to the upcoming Venom movie by making gooey black cheese to garnish their menu items. The black cheese is made of standardized mozzarella mixed with processed activated charcoal. To that I say double ick.

While you go brush your teeth because you just threw up a little, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not leave a black ring around your mouth…

The Mimic

THE MIMIC (June 12, 2018)
“The mother of a missing child takes in a lost girl she finds in the woods and soon begins to wonder if she is even human.”

This one came out in South Korea in August of 2017. I don’t remember that year on that old calendar I found out by the 7-Eleven™ dumpster. It is my fondest wish and dreams that you don’t confuse this Mimic with the same-titled sci-fi flick that came out in 1997. I don’t recall seeing that year on my FREE dumpster calendar as well. That said, I wish I was a mimic. Instead of turning from a creature into a human (already done that), or a creature that can turn into other creatures (done that, too), I’d totally try and get a job as an entertaining mime downtown in order to earn bus fare and/or a new calendar.

The Lighthouse

THE LIGHTHOUSE (July 6, 2018)
“Two men are trapped in an isolated lighthouse, surrounded by the deadly Irish sea, with both their minds ultimately pushed to the limits.”

Water, water everywhere, but not a drop of booze to drink. No wonder they’re being pushed to the limits. I guess rowing to the liquor store never crossed their damaged minds.

Darkness Reigns

DARKNESS REIGNS (July 10, 2018)
“A group of filmmakers shooting a movie in a reportedly haunted hotel are faced with an unfathomable demonic force that possesses and attacks both the crew and the film’s star. Will the film’s director be able to escape with the paranormal proof he has captured, or will he succumb to the hellish plans of the demon who has surfaced?”

Too bad they weren’t filming this in the haunted Overlook Hotel. Then they could call it, I don’t know, The Shining, or something along those lines, and post it on YouTube™ and get lots and lots of likes. Not for the generic title, though.

Extremity

EXTREMITY (2018)
Alison Bell is an emotionally troubled young woman who was once sexually assault by her father. Believing that confronting her trauma might be a means of exorcising her pain, she signs up for a trip to The Manor, in which the only certainty is the promised experience of absolute, unadulterated terror. But the most purely frightening thing on display at The Manor is Allison’s own twisted psyche.

This one sounds f’d up just from the press release. Couldn’t they find another way of making Alison traumatized, like taking away her cell phone for a week or telling her you can’t afford to get her tickets to P!nk, even though you have the money stashed away for far more important things, like binge drinking?