Archive for The Last Winter

Icy Horror, Nazi Snowballs, Dumb Artificial Intelligence

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Seattle snow

All this apocalyptic Seattle snow (the worst in 70 years, according to the panicking news) got me in the mood to watch a few guilty pleasure snow horror movies, the irony being that we’re buried in huge, steaming piles of snow with more predicted to seal us in igloo coffins.

Seattle snow

I have The Day After Tomorrow (2004), 30 Days of Night (2007), Dead Snow (2009), The Last Winter (2006), Frozen (2010/the teen horror movie, not the same-titled Disney horror movie), and Unnatural (2015) queued up. All that’s left to do now is crack an ice cold beer and chill. Heh.

Seattle snow

While we’re waiting to thaw out — probably by the end of March — here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not bite like frost…

The House

THE HOUSE (March 5, 2019)
“Set in the frozen wilderness of Norway during WWII, two German soldiers escort a Norwegian soldier and prisoner of war, but the weather is taking a toll on them. They find an empty house near the forest where they finally can get some rest. However, what seems to be a warm and welcoming shelter turns much more sinister and deadly. They begin to wonder if they have somehow have stepped into a sort of psychological hell from which there may be no escape.”

Finally — Nazis on the other end of the pain stick. I bet they start a snowball fight to end all snowball fights.

Demon Eye

DEMON EYE (2019)
“A young girl returns to her father’s country house in the Moors following his mysterious death. There, she finds a cursed amulet that will grant her greatest wish, but at a price.”

The cursed amulet that grants me my greatest wish is a beer bottle.

Ami

AMI (2019)
Cassie has become a recluse ever since her mother died in a car accident. In an effort to fill the void, she downloads AMI, the latest intelligent personal assistant. As their relationship quickly deepens into a twisted co-dependency, Cassie falls deeper and deeper under AMI’s spell; not realizing that everyone she knows is in serious danger.”

I wish I had artificial intelligence.

Cannibalistic Ghost Moose

Posted in Classic Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , on August 22, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Last Winter

Global warming with a twist – it’s not the toxic greenhouse gases leaking up from thawing permafrost that’s causing an oil drilling advance team in Alaska to walk naked into a sub-zero midnight snow storm, but the mythical Wendigo, a cannibalistic ghost moose. And all this time we’ve been buying into the lies of scientists. Damn conservatives.

The Last Winter

Begrudgingly working alongside of hippies, uh, I mean, Greenpeace™ type environmentalists, Ed Pollock, a tough-talking leader of a drilling base in the de-cooling Arctic, needs massive equipment delivered, but ice roads can’t be constructed due to the ground being all warm ’n fuzzy. The environmentalist won’t sign off on letting the gear to be brought in because it’ll damage the Tundra. That’s like saying you won’t go outside because the wind will mess up your hair.

The Last Winter

While that battle rages on, a team member is beginning to freak out over incessant noises, mysterious tracks, out-of-nowhere windstorms, and ghostly visions of cannibal ghost moose running around like they own the place. This culminates in the taking off of clothes and wandering out into the frozen night.

The Last WinterThe next morning victim #1’s footprints lead 15 feet from the building, then disappear as if having been given a lift from a passing cannibal moose. His body was found miles away with the eyes picked out by crows. (Note: Since it’s so globally-warm in Alaska, birds can hang out up there and eat all the delicious snow/eyeballs they want.)

The Last Winter

A rescue plane doesn’t fare much better, with a less-than-textbook landing into the drilling station. More than one are burned alive, which means BBQ buffet for the birds. The team captain and hippie, uh, environmentalist take off on a snowmobile (or “Ski-doo™”) to get help. They find none. Then the Ski-doo™ pulls a doo-doo and conks out. Then the Wendigos arrive to gore you with their antlers of death and hooves of doom.

The Last Winter

The Last Winter (2006) has a good creepy build-up of events, some nicely-enunciated swearing, and a cheery dread that something is out there in the show that has the potential to eat your snowshoes off from the knee down. Too bad the Wendigos were computer graphics, though. Would’ve been nice to see a real one for once.