Archive for The Hollow Ones

Death Cars, Death Aliens, Death Snow

Posted in Classic Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Roger Corman's Death Race 2050

Have you ever been watching horror movies in your underwear and see the mail man dropping off fan mail from the IRS and go outside to retrieve said marked “URGENT!” mail, all the while forgetting you’re not wearing pants? Yeah, me neither.

Some upcoming new ones to watch in your skivvies…

ROGER CORMAN’S DEATH RACE 2050 (January 17, 2017/DVD)
“It’s the year 2050 and America is controlled by an all-powerful corporate government ruled by The Chairman. The masses have been brainwashed with violent virtual-reality entertainment. The event of the year is the Death Race, in which a motley crew of violent drivers compete in a cross-country road race, scoring points for shamelessly running people over and driving each other off the road. The reigning champion and fan favorite, Frankenstein, who’s half-man half-machine, wants to take the crown, but his rebel spy co-pilot threatens his legacy.”

Corman’s Death Race 2000 (1975) is regarded one of the most iconic campy cult films of all time and space. This one recaptures that same hyper-violent/goofy destruction derby vibe. If the movie is as good as the NSFW trailer, I think we’re talkin’ an Oscar™ nomination.

The Predator

THE PREDATOR (February 9, 2018)
This one’s a year away. A year. That’s something like 12 freakin’ months, dang it. No plot, but one can guess: The Predator shows up and kills people to death, using their head bones as bookends in his personal library. Works for me.

Get Out

GET OUT (February 24, 2017)
“When a young African-American man visits his white girlfriend’s family estate, he becomes ensnared in a more sinister real reason for the invitation. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he could have never imagined.”

Don’t want to spoil it for you, but the “disturbing discovery” is that her parents are actually purple vampires. Shameful that people are still so racist over purple vampires.

Cold Ground

COLD GROUND (2017)
“1976: Two young journalists leave for the French-Swiss border to investigate a strange case of cattle mutilations and record testimonies for a TV channel. Yet, once they get there, the scientific team they were supposed to meet has gone missing. Escorted by a first-aider, a British biologist and an American forensic investigator, Melissa and David go looking for the missing team deep into the mountains; but their rescue mission soon turns into a fight for survival as they get caught in an avalanche. Lost in the wild and petrified by the cold, the team experiences the ruthlessness of the mountains. They realize that blizzards, frostbite and cliffs are not that bad once they find out that they are not alone in this snowy forest.”

Didn’t realize cows hung out in the snow. Grazing for snow balls doesn’t sound very gratifying. As for what else is in the woods, my guess is poisonous squirrels. Or werewolves. Probably werewolves since Hollywood doesn’t make movies about poisonous squirrels. They totally should, though.

The Hollow Child

THE HOLLOW ONES (2017)
“Samantha has lived her whole life in different foster homes. Now living in a small town, she never feels like she quite fits in, even with her own current foster family who might adopt her. So it’s natural that she doesn’t know what to do with Olivia, a curious, tag-along little sister. One day, Samantha callously ditches Olivia, who wanders off into the woods on her own and disappears.”

Olivia fell down an old well. Better call Lassie.

Hollow Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Hollow One

This has got to be embarrassing for one or more people: two horror movies coming out at the same time with the same name. It’s like throwing a party for yourself and everybody shows up dressed exactly like you. (That’s one of my all-time worst nightmares.)

So in one corner we have the crowd funded The Hollow Ones and in the other corner the not crowd funded The Hollow One. (And to muddle matters, there’s a group of disassociated people who refer to themselves as “The Hollow Ones.” I bet they’re Goth idiots.)

The Hollow Ones

The Hollow One: “While searching for her missing father, an emotionally damaged woman confronts her tragic past and a shadowy figure with sinister intentions.”

Yeesh – who writes the press release copy for these things? The janitor?

The Hollow Ones: “The Hollow Ones is a horror thriller film about evil fairies, based on the 15th Century folklore of Changelings.”

Fairies are about the size of pork-fed butterflies and are easily squishable.

I feel more sorry for The Hollow One; Now they can’t use The Hollow Ones as a sequel name like they did with Alien/Aliens. Life sucks. Just ask “The Hollow Ones” wandering around the mall all dressed in Hot Topic™ on sale black.