Archive for The Collector

Door-To-Door Slashers

Posted in Evil, Misc. Horror, Slashers, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Strangers

It hasn’t been a good night for James and his girlfriend Kristen. He proposed permanently hitching to her, she basically said hell no thanks, and all the clichéd romantic devices he set up at his parent’s house — rose petals on the bed, chilled champagne, candles, psycho killers outside — were all for nothing.

The Strangers

Well, not all for nothing. The psycho killers are hanging around to take the soured mood to a new level. In the end James and Kristen are tied up and… So much for the sequel.

The Strangers

This was based on a true story, though I doubt it. People just don’t break into houses, because it’s against the law. The movie also allegedly draws inspiration from the Manson murders, so it has that marketing going for it. What it doesn’t have is a plot or anything remotely consisting of dialogue. Other than the one line, the killers don’t speak or show their real faces (until the end). And all Kristen does is scream and cry. Same with James. (Wussy.) That’s the whole movie.

The Strangers

For a much better version of this generically-titled The Strangers (2008), watch The Last House on the Left (2009) remake, You’re Next (2011), or better still, The Collector (2009) That one will make the hairs on your couch warmer turn white — if they aren’t already.

Killer Headwear

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

You're Next

Not released as of this dissertation (sorry – word of the day calendar), but You’re Next is the latest in an uncomfortable trend of home invasion horror movies. Doesn’t this stuff happen every 30 seconds in thre world? Wondering out loud why we need movies depicting it.

The Strangers

Home invasion movies often feature a person or persons of will ill-intent, doing the whole cat-n-mouse thing with their victims while wearing masks. I guess that’s the only way to make movies like this marketable.

The Purge, The Collector

The invaders in You’re Next are wearing stylish animal masks.  There’s a cat, a lamb and some sort of man-bear pig (props, South Park.) Admittedly, few would go see this movie if the killers were just wearing ski masks from REI™ or (my fav), Jos. A. Bank ™. ( Just kidding – they won’t let me in the door. Screw you guys – I’m buying my facewear at Target™.)

Jason 'n Michael

Then you have the 2013 hit, The Purge, where the killers wear cartoon-y human face masks. Not too scary, but easily found at Planet Halloween™.

Leatherface 'n Alice

Then there was the plastic girl and stitched burlap headgear worn in The Strangers (2008). And let us not forget the leather bondage mask employed to generic but creepy effect in The Collector (2009) and American Horror Story (2011). Note to nit-pickers: Yes, I know American Horror Story is not a home invasion movie. It’s a family-friendly TV series along the lines of The Waltons (1971 – 1981).

Motel Hell

Regardless of all the countless masked serial killers (home invaders or not) – from Jason Voorhees (hockey mask/Friday the 13th) and Michael Myers (Capt. Kirk/Halloween), to Leatherface (un-moisturized face/Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and even the cute as a button terror tot Alice (ballerina/Alice Sweet Alice), one still resonates as being the ickiest and ballsiest (I think that’s a word) mask of all time: the severed pig head worn by farmer/butcher/entrepreneur Vincent Smith in Motel Hell (1980). Not only is it supremely scary, but later, after you take it off, your face will smell like bacon. If that isn’t a double bonus, I don’t know what is.