Archive for The Benson Hotel

Hellish Pizza, Stinky Bigfoot, Reanimated Santa

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, paranormal, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 4, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

“We have such slices to show you…”

A perfect paraphrased salvo to introduce their new “Hellraiser” pizza, Portland, Oregon’s Sizzle Pie™ is arguably the best pizza joint in the world. The place is garnished in horror movie posters, they blast hardcore metal at volumes that could cook your face, and they serve up pies with names like “Ace of Spades”, “Napalm Breath”, “Pig Destroyer” and “Demolition Man.” With the introduction of the “Hellraiser” (cup and char pepperoni, sausage, bacon), Sizzle Pie™ just smacked your taste buds right in the mouth.

S-Pie™, established in 2011 (menu here), has locations in Portland’s Central Eastside, downtown, the Hollywood District, Beaverton, a spot at the Moda Center, and Reno, NV. Good, but not good enough. We need Sizzle Pie™ in every town in every state. But not Europe. They don’t deserve the majesty of these majestic pizzas. (They’d just add weird stuff to ‘em, like clams, malt vinegar and ketchup.)

Every time I’m in Portland, which is a lot (they have the best strip clubs as well —I go to ‘em for scintillating conversation), my first stop is ALWAYS Sizzle Pie™. To be within rush-the-stage distance of their downtown location, I strategically position myself at The Benson Hotel (287 guest rooms include 47 junior suites, seven Penthouse Suites, two Presidential Suites), which is two blocks away. I asked The Benson if they could move their 100 year old+ hotel closer to Sizzle Pie™. They said they’d get back to me on that. I feel positive about their response.

While you decide which mode of transportation will get you to Sizzle Pie™ faster, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be worthy of having a pizza named after them… 

GREYWOOD’S PLOT / Out now (Tubi™/YouTube™)

“A struggling paranormal blogger named Dom is on the verge of ending things forever when a mysterious tape arrives on his doorstep. It’s a rare sighting of a classic cryptid sends Dom and his friend Miles on a road trip to find the fabled creature, but they soon find where their loyalties lie.”

The fabled creature in question is the Skunk Ape, said to be the missing link between man and ape. Uh, shouldn’t that be the missing link between skunk and ape? Don’t look at me like that — it’s right there in its name. Speculative science is rarely wrong.

OGOPOGO — THE MYTHICAL SNAKE FROM THE LAKE / Out now (DVD)

“Fresh on vacation after battling Bigfoot, Aliens and the Easter Bunny, John is quickly wrapped up in a new case like no other — and with stakes personal to the heart. Tracking the OgopogoBritish Columbia’s legendarily elusive beast, John documents the flesh hungry creature with independent filmmaker Richard Mogg. But when Cupid hits his target and John falls in love with his soulmate Julie, all Hell breaks loose.”

I have high hopes for Ogopogo winning an Academy Award™. The odds are favored as this comes from the guy who did Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend, Hot Chicks Blast Uranus!, Easter Bunny Bloodbath, Massage Parlor of Death, and the blouse-busting Bangin’ Vengeance – Enhanced Nudity Edition. Required viewing is not a suggestion.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: SHADOW OF THE ZONE / July 1, 2023 (VOD)

“A seasoned Free Stalker tasked with guiding a band of Mercenaries deep into The Zone to investigate a paranormal radio signal. Along the way they will uncover the nightmarish effects of exposure to the signal, in addition to the grim reality of the signal’s existence.”

This one’s a live-action sci-fi short fan-film based on the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. video game series. I don’t play video games as I live in the now, man. Okay, I did recently crammed a bunch of laundromat quarters (i.e., my paycheck) into a Pac-Man™ machine at the Tug Tavern. But I still live in the now. Man.

SANTASTEIN / Pending release 2022/2023 (VOD)

“When Max Causey was six, he accidentally killed Santa.12 years later, Max rectifies his mistake by resurrecting him, but soon realizes the creature he created is a bloodthirsty killer and it’s headed right to his friend’s Christmas party.”

I would very much like an invitation to that Christmas party. I’ll even bring delicious sugar cookies, a six-pack with “do not touch” written on ‘em, and a pitchfork.

Ghost Hotels, Unnatural Disasters and Cigar Zombies

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Stanley Hotel

Prepping for my annual solo holiday trek to downtown Portland, OR, my favorite city within 175 miles from where I’m littering. This year will be a bit different as I plan on visiting several Chamber of Commerce endorsed haunted buildings, one of which happens to be the very hotel I’m staying at. (Love the new bathroom upgrades at The Benson, but the ghosts could be a bit more spookier.)

Room 217

The hotel that’s on my bucket list is, of course, The Stanley Hotel (aka, The Overlook Hotel in The Shining), located at 333 E Wonderview Ave, Estes Park, CO. (And in case you need the zip code: 80517.) Their website has this to say about that: “The Stanley Hotel features a variety of rooms with high paranormal activity including the famous Stephen King Suite 217, the Ghost Hunters’ favorite room 401; as well as 407, 428 and 1302. These are among our most-requested rooms, availability is limited.”

White Eagle Saloon

While I polter-hunt/drink in Old Town Pizza, Crystal Ballroom and the White Eagle Saloon, all of which have documented ghost sightings (and tasty snacks), here are a few just released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not scare the Christmas wrap outta you…

Dangerous People

DANGEROUS PEOPLE (available now)
“In the early 1970s two murderers pick up a girl in a bar and take her back to their apartment. A moment of brutal violence occurs, which leads to a series of mind games to see who lives and who dies. Dangerous People is a psychedelic trip that is equal parts crazy, scary, sexy, funny, sick and tragic.”

Crazy, scary, sexy, funny, sick and tragic. Aren’t those the ingredients on Fruity Pebbles™ cereal boxes? (That stuff has more artificial coloring than a beauty parlor.)

Channel Zero: Butcher's Block

CHANNEL ZERO: BUTCHER’S BLOCK (2018)
“Inspired by Kerry Hammond’s ‘Search and Rescue Woods’ Creepypasta tale, Butcher’s Block tells the story of a young woman named Alice who moves to a new city and learns about a series of disappearances that may be connected to a baffling rumor about mysterious staircases in the city’s worst neighborhoods. With help from her sister, they discover that something is preying on the city’s residents.”

This sounds a lot better than the fizzled dud, Channel Zero: No-End House (2017). Sure, it got off to a great start, what with some teens going into a reputed spook house that preys on your innermost fears and doesn’t have an exit. But every slow-moving episode that followed felt like a no-end mini-series.

The Quake

THE QUAKE (2018)
“In 1904 an earthquake of magnitude 5.4 on the Richter Scale shook Oslo, with an epicenter in the ‘Oslo Graben’, which runs under the Norwegian capital. There are now signs that indicate that we can expect a major future earthquake in Oslo.”

You could almost predict this one — it’s being done by the same folks who made the Norwegian hit disaster movie, The Wave (2015). Another prediction: Once The Quake comes out, they’ll start working on The Really Windy Day, A Tree In the Road and The Pothole.

Rise of the Living Dead

RISE OF THE LIVING DEAD (2018)
“In 1962, Dr. Ryan Cartwright was on the scientific and altruistic path to find a way for humans to sustain life in the event of M.A.D. (Mutual Assured Destruction), a huge topic brought on by the Cuban Missile Crisis. Little did he know that over the course of the next several years of his life, he would take a well-funded and military focused journey to the darkest corners of the world as he creates the ultimate weapon for the government and a curse that will plague mankind for the rest of days.”

Cool title for YET ANOTHER zombie movie. Interesting to frame it around the Cuban Missile Crisis, which, I always thought was a near miss catastrophe about the Cuban cigar shortage. (Cigars are missile-shaped, hence, I assumed, the term.) Warning: this is what beer does to you.