Archive for The Abyss

Kiss My Abyss

Posted in Aliens, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 28, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Abyss

The USS Montana, a ballistic missile submarine, sinks near the b-hole gapingly deep Cayman Trough, where weird fish swim/poo. American and Soviet ships and subs race to salvage it (the re-sale of ballistic missiles on eBay™ is freakin’ HUGE).

The Abyss

A hurricane is forecast to make waves about the time a Navy SEAL goes all high-pressure nervous system crazy and plans to drop a nuke into the Trough to kill the NTIs (non-terrestrial intelligence) thought to be behind the sinking of the Montana. So it wasn’t gangsta clams as previously thought.

The Abyss

A brave dumbass volunteers to sink several miles down in a liquid-filled suit to disarm the nuke, the NTI’s show up looking like Disney™-made jellyfish to save the day. (Their first appearance was in the shape of a water hot dog, probing the underwater sub-station to check things out, a cool effect I often use in the shower.)

The Abyss

But it’s not the aliens that rock The Abyss (1989); it’s the fluid-choked people drama that scores. The parts where a chick has to voluntarily drown herself in order to be rescued, the bomb disarming descent into the bottomless toilet void, and the liquid-filled diving suit scene where the guy has to load his lungs with some sort of liquid, are the things that make lower extremities clench. And the NTIs? Yeah, kinda cool for water hot dogs and such.

That ’80s Sea Monster

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 19, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

DeepStar Six

DeepStar Six™ is an all-the-way underwater Navy-funded sub-station with a science/janitor crew setting up a missile silo, which will later be used to blast Russia or whales right in the blow-hole.

DeepStar Six

The constantly bickering crew has fatigue syndrome, which makes the confined workspace more socially exciting. While drilling through a sea wall, a mini-sub is attacked by a prehistoric monster that looks like one of the graboid sand worms in Tremors (1990). Never mind that this movie came out before Tremors did – the worm was copied, I tell you.

DeepStar Six

The aquatic monster barely makes an appearance at this point, and doesn’t show up again until the last 30 minutes when it gets inside an air lock and goes after the crew, whose numbers fall prey to severed limbs and liquid-filled lungs.

DeepStar Six

Swear word-infused yelling, a torso bit in half here, a heart exploding there, but mostly a dry tale of underwater horror. Not to be confused with  The Evil Below, The Rift (Endless Descent), Lords of the Deep, Leviathan, and The Abyss, all of which had pretty much the same plot and came out the same year as DeepStar Six (1989). Hollywood needs a new lifeguard.