Archive for Teeth

Put Your Teeth Into Love

Posted in Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Teeth

The problem with being a high school female spokesperson for The Promise, a Christian abstinence group, is that your pitch is only believable if you’re south of good looking. Not so for Dawn O’Keefe, a smoldering blonde hottie who tries believing in abstinence, even though her heart and lower heart are sending mixed signals.

Teeth

After going swimming with a boy she’s sweet on, he gets his hot on seeing Dawn in that abstinence-free bathing suit and forces himself upon her. It’s here Dawn discovers she has an inner goddess — teeth in her womanly tool shed. And those of us without dentures know what teeth do.

Teeth

Dawn goes to a vaginacologist, who examines her. But what he’s really doing is tryin’ to get some. Snap! Cancel all the doctor’s appointments. Depressed and seeking comfort with a greasy classmate who has been trying to get jiggy wid it, she gets drunk and has sex with him and…the phone rings during the process and the boy brags to his buddy he won the bet. Of all the things to say at that moment, this wasn’t one of them. Snap!

Teeth

Then Dawn finds out her sick mother died while her punk rock/heavy metal brother was having improper relations with some romantical skank, leaving mom’s calls for help unanswered. Dawn knows what she must do — have sex with her brother, whom she’s intensely disliked every since he got tattoos and started smoking drugs and listening to non-Christian metal.

Teeth

The family moment lasts about one minute until… Snap! She calmy gets up and “releases” his Oscar Meyer on the floor where the brother’s pitbull… I’d rather not say.

Teeth

Teeth (2008) features from-the-waist-up sex and more sliced hot dogs than lunchtime at Nathan’s. So yeah, you’ll watch it, even though it’ll pain you to do so.

Banned Horror

Posted in TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , on November 25, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Teeth

Recently clicked across CinemaBlend.com’s Top 10 banned movie posters and was bemused by what the censors “protected” us from. I am just so glad someone has my back here. You never know what these “socially disrupting” images would do to my brain. Note to censors: no one needs you, so go to Heck.

The first banned movie poster is the ad sheet for the black horror comedy, Teeth (2007). In that one, Dawn, a virginal young girl discovers she has a second set of teeth growing where a toothbrush normally doesn’t brush. This was news to her until she was forcibly sexed by a classmate and the sudden explosion of terror and anger brought on the clampdown. (The next sound you hear is that of one million guys crossing their legs.)

Teeth

The banned poster doesn’t even come close to the chomping action, especially when she seduces her selfish punk rock brother who let their mother die while he was doing the bedspring symphony on a gal with really low standards. What happens after this sexy Dentist the Menace does afterward is one of the “holy sh*t” moments that, if you’re a guy, will stick with you for, I don’t know, the rest of your life.

Still, there was something quite familiar with Dawn’s lower smile.  It reminds me of something I once saw on Tatooine

Great Pit of Carkoon