Archive for Swedish death metal

Dancing With Ghosts

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Wishing Stairs

If you don’t speak conversational Korean at fancy cocktail parties, you likely passed on Wishing Stairs (2003), the third installment South Korean horror series, Whispering Corridors. (Or as I like to conversationally blurt out cocktail parties, Yeogogoedam 3: Yeowoogyedan.)

Wishing Stairs

Now that you’re suitably impressed with my fancy dumbassery, in an all-female Korean dance school, the girl’s dormitory holds a dark secret: none of the chicks shave their legs. Okay, that’s not actually part of the plot…BUT IT SHOULD BE. (Note to girls who don’t shave their legs — please don’t kick my behind quarters; it’s just a joke, I hair swear.)

Wishing Stairs

The plot problem starts when two classmates compete for a spot in the Russian “So You Think You Can Dance” ballet. Just so happens there’s a nearby eerie staircase with 28 steps. If you count the steps as you go up, a 29th step will reveal itself in the form of a fox spirit and will grant you a wish. You can see where this is going.

Wishing Stairs

In a see-it-a-mile-away betrayal maneuver, So-hee gets pushed down the stairs and ends up crippled. Unable to cut the rug ever again, she soon commits suicide but gets wished back to life by…the Wishing Stairs.

Wishing Stairs

The spirit of So-hee returns to revenge haunt the guilty party by possessing Hye-ju, her only friend in her pre-dead life, for some “pay it forward” retribution. This takes the form of being stabbed by scissors (ouch), being burned alive (double ouch) and being crushed in the stomach area with a deathly death hug. (Love hurts.)

Wishing Stairs

As this is the third in a series of haunted Korean lesbian schoolgirl movies (Whispering Corridors/1998, Memento Mori/1999), it’s just as boring as the first two, which are equally as scareless and shockless and twice as predictable.

Wishing Stairs

Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight…I wish this movie didn’t suck.

P.S. I don’t really go to fancy cocktail parties. Yes, I’m into host booze, but not dress codes that require me not to wear black T-shirts of obscure Swedish death metal bands.

Fear of Horror and Sex

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 15, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hollower

Agoraphobia. At first I thought it was a name for a Swedish death metal band. Turns out it’s an actual mental condition described as having fear of places and situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment. Sounds like being the only dude at a women’s sex toy party. (Some of those personal comfort devices look more like off-shore drilling.)

Agoraphobia is at the root of an upcoming indie horror movie, Hollower (release pending 2015). There’s this teen kid who’s been suffering from it for the last three years. Then he meets a chick next door. Goodbye agoraphobia, hello raging teen hormones. Panties beat panic every time.

As the movie’s sparse press release goes on to say, “as their relationship blossoms Nathan (agora dude) begins to realize he’s not as alone as he thought. Something wants him and once it gets in, no one gets out.”

Hollower

Okay, that’s just not cool. This is a rank amateur description that indicates absolutely nothing about the mysterious something that might turn out to be the guy’s over protective mom. The movie poster shows some sort of dark entity that maybe watched The Babadook (2014) a couple of times. But other than that, we’re given near to nothing to make one want to watch the movie.

You want real scary? Spend 15 minutes at a women’s sex toy party. It’ll scar you for life.