Archive for super-human

Zombie Justice, Vampire Detective, Saturn’s 7-Eleven

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Pacific Rim: Uprising

A new poster for Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018). Looks nifty, although after watching the trailers this whole thing is starting to smell like one of those steaming mess Transformer movies. Giant robots fighting giant monsters from another dimension, though, still looks good on paper. So yeah, I’ll go see it.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Until these machines get their metal groove on when the movie is released in March, 2018, here are a few just released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be steaming messes…

Black Hollow Cage

BLACK HOLLOW CAGE (available now)
“A girl, who lives secluded in a house in the woods with the only company of her father and a wolfhound, finds among the trees a mysterious cubic device with the ability to change the past.”

I’m betting the “mysterious cubic device” is an outhouse. Logical when you see that outhouses have the ability to change the past as well. Ate a bad burrito last night and its causing havoc on your Lynyrd innards? Use the outhouse and presto! — you’ve been factory re-set and the past is (no pun intended) behind you.

RV: Resurrected Victims

“In the near future, murder victims have begun coming back to life with the sole purpose of avenging their deaths. Jin-hong is a cold-hearted prosecutor who’s obsessed with catching the man that killed his mother. But when she returns home, intent on killing him, he quickly becomes the lead suspect.”

Neat twist on the zombie theme, even though they don’t use the Z word anywhere. But a rose by any other name…

Detective K: Secret of the Living Dead

“When a series of unusual murders occurs, Detective K and his partner are once again called upon to solve the case. Along the way, he teams up with a beautiful woman with amnesia and together they discover vampire bite marks on all of the bodies. As they investigate further, they begin to realize that the woman is somehow closely connected to the deaths.”

Detective K. Cool name. Detective P? Not so much. And the beautiful woman with amnesia— they practically tell you she’s the vampire they’re looking for. Better to let her suck on a body part to make sure and… HEY — get your mind out of the gutter, you pervs. FYI: This one has an alternate title: Detective K: Secret of the Bloodsucking Demon. There is no part of that I don’t like.

The Titan

THE TITAN (APRIL 13, 2018)
“When Earth’s resources start rapidly depleting, the human race is faced with the threat of swift and inevitable extinction. As the clock ticks down, and options become increasingly limited, space exploration emerges as mankind’s last hope. Hotshot Air Force pilot, Rick Janssen is chosen for a military experiment that will create a human being capable of surviving the harsh environments of Saturn’s moon, Titan. The experiment is successful, turning Rick into a super-human. But it also creates deadly side-effects which threaten the lives of Rick, his wife, Abigail, his family, and possibly humanity itself.”

Crud — we drink up all of Earth’s resources and Titan, the largest of Saturn’s 62 moons, is the only lunar 7-Eleven™ we can go wreck? There are lots more planets closer. And since Saturn is 746 million miles away, at $3.09 average for a gallon of gas — and correctly assuming any space rocket would get at least 35 miles per gallon — it would take $2,360,760,000.00 to fill the tank. That would buy a lot of Romulan Ale.

P.S. I saw two release dates for this — one in April and, according to the poster, supposedly in May. Pick your fav month and go with that.

Supermodel Sci-Fi

Posted in Science Fiction, TV Vixens, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , on January 10, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Aeon Flux

In Æon Flux (2005), the visually stylized sci-fi flub, Bregna is a gated community of the future, not allowing its residents to leave their perfect lives to go outside the walls to get in a little stink finger action in the polluted and desolate outlands. But not all is well with Bregna’s scientist controlled/manicured lawn confines – people are turning up missing. (Wow, that does not make sense.)

Aeon Flux

When the sister of the supermodel assassin Æon Flux is killed in a case of mistaken identity (someone thought she was a Monican, an underground rebel club whose sole purpose it is to wreck everyone’s idyllic lifestyle), her mission takes on a new sense of, how shall I put this, DIE KILL BLEED REVENGE.

Aeon Flux

Even though Bregna is crime-free and filled with sunshine, balloons and all the bubblegum you could ever want, the place is loaded with a wide assortment of deadly booby traps. Æon has near-super human powers and can flip around, jump over stuff and punch the chew out of your gum-filled face. And that’s just when she’s happy.

Aeon Flux

The problem with this tedious science fiction borefest isn’t Æon’s skin tight fighting suit or her incessant posing, it’s the overly-complex plot, filled with more twists than a bag of space pretzels (also free on Bregna). There’s conspiracy, DNA samples, overlord dirigibles, explosions, face-punching and runway modeling. And it drains your believe batteries.

Clearly, I wouldn’t last a day in the future. I could, however, go for some endless gum action.