Stumped By Wood Demons

I don’t wanna freak you out, but there’s a demon in the woods and it wants your baby. (And would it kill you to throw in some diapers?)

That’s at the feel-good heart of The Hallow (aka, The Woods/2015), a British/Irish joint that finds newly minted parents, who just moved into a seriously remote big ass mill house way out in the woods, trying to keep irritating demonic creatures living rent-free in the surround woods from taking their newborn crib monster. The worse part – no 7-Eleven™ for miles in any direction.

Couple of thoughts on The Hallow: It was released in the UK in the summer of 2015. It also premiered at the Sundance Festival six months prior to that. I haven’t seen it because I don’t live in the UK as far as I know. And Sundance has a restraining order against me. So I have to wait in line like the rest of the unwashed masses to see it.

Secondly, The Hallow pays loving homage to the infamous eye splinter impalement scene in Zombi 2 (1979) with an icky demon looking to stick it’s pointy digit into the cocktail olive that is the mom’s eye. Cocktail olives are not only mandatory for classy plastic cup cocktails, but can be eaten as a stand-alone snack. Augment with crackers and some processed cheese.