Archive for space brothers

Pools of Horror, Zombie Submarines, Misshapen Monsters

Posted in Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

12 Feet Deep

Just watched Unacknowledged (2017), that amazing documentary on the disclosure cover-up of UFOS and the technology they bring to the conspiracy dinner table. Did you know the government has known about UFOs since the late ’40s and that they won’t publicly admit it? if I was an alien, I’d be hot around the lunar collar that I went to all that trouble to come here, just to be associated with that whole “fake news” hoopla. So much for cordial relations with our space brothers.

Speaking of hoopla, here are a few new horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be fake…

12 FEET DEEP (June 20, 2017/VOD)
“Sisters Bree and Jonna get trapped beneath the fiberglass cover of an Olympic sized public pool after it closes for the holiday weekend. They find themselves at the mercy of the night janitor, Clara, who sees the trapped sisters as an opportunity to solve a few problems of her own.”

This one was originally titled The Deep End. I think a porn movie already locked up that one. The plot is just a reworking of 2010’s Frozen, wherein two guys and a gal get stuck halfway up the mountain on a ski lift that just closed for the weekend. Which begs the question — would you rather freeze to death or be trapped in a public pool that also serves as a all-inclusive toilet for the less discreet among us? Think I’d take my chances on becoming a human popsicle.

Dark Beacon

DARK BEACON (2017)
Amy Wilcock loves the married Beth Gadbsy with a fierce and tragic passion. When Beth’s distraught husband Christian dies in an emotional intervention, the now widow disappears with her daughter Maya into secret seclusion. Amy eventually tracks Beth down to a distant lighthouse only to find her broken and maddened in the midst of an alcoholic abyss. But that is not all she finds. They shockingly discover that the spirit of Beth’s spurned husband will not rest until he takes the surviving trio with him. Can Amy save them all from the spiral of madness and the crazed and hell-bent supernatural threat?”

First thought — waaaay too much plot getting in the way of a simple ghost story. For a really fun/funny (it was meant to be serious, but I didn’t interpret it as such) back-from-the-dead lighthouse/beach movie, give 1960s’ Tormented a spin. In that one a jazz musician “accidentally” kills his side trim (jazz term for “groupie”) by “letting” her fall from a lighthouse. She, of course, comes back from the dead, headless and yelling her head off, “Tom Howard killed me!” Those could be good lyrics for a snappy dance number if Tom would just roll with it.

Operation Ragnarok

OPERATION RAGNAROK (2017)
“In a town in southern Sweden, tensions between the locals and immigrants grow. Meanwhile, a submarine carrying a strange plague enters the town. The crew infects police officers out to investigate and a full-blooded outbreak begins. The town is isolated by the Swedish army, but the survivors inside, immigrants and locals alike, must band together against the infected.”

This one was originally titled Zon 261. I don’t know what a Zon is. As for the plague aboard the submarine, you sure it just isn’t a case of jock itch gone wild shared by guys stuck underwater for weeks on end with no windows to air out the place?

The Blob

THE BLOB (2018)
“When a band of miners uncover something hidden deep beneath the earth they unwittingly unleash a hideous creature beyond imagination. Now the townsfolk must fightback, before it destroys everything.”

A remake of a remake of a sequel of a cool 1958 horror movie starring a young Steve McQueen. Really glad back then they made the blob a reddish brown (and growing more red as it consumes screaming citizens). If I saw a big brown blob headed down the street, I’d totally cover my nose and reach for a case of Febreze™ because it could be that King Kong just dropped one heckuva steamer.

A Wave of Aliens

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The 5th Wave

Hate to use bowling alley language, but gosh dang those aliens. Every time you turn around, our so-called “space brothers” are trying to wipe out all life on Earth, then use our freshly destroyed planet for an intergalactic keggar. Such is the case for The 5th Wave, a sci-fi alien invasion flick due to invade movie screens on January 15, 2016.

The 5th Wave

Starring Chloë Grace Moretz as a survivor trying to save her little brother amidst the alien apocalypse, The 5th Wave refers to the stages of extraterrestrial extermination:

1st Wave – Unplug us so that we have no electricity with which to Tweet.

The 5th Wave

2nd Wave – Destroy our cities using once friendly tidal waves to flood us and make it so not even Uber can’t get you the flippin’ flap outta town.

The 5th Wave

3rd Wave – Infect us with an icky disease that can’t be cured with aspirin and beer.

4th Wave – A full-on “put it on the glass” alien invasion.

The 5th Wave

5th Wave – Take over the bodies/minds/pants of those left standing to mop up any straggling survivors. The b*tch here is that once the aliens get into someone’s head, you can’t tell ’em apart from any other Earth a-hole.

While my plot summation is far more detailed, here’s the official synopsis: “The 5th Wave: four waves of increasingly deadly attacks have left most of Earth decimated. Against a backdrop of fear and distrust, 16-year-old Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz) is on the run, desperately trying to save her younger brother. As she prepares for the inevitable and lethal 5th wave, Cassie teams up with a young man who may become her final hope – if she can only trust him.”

The 5th Wave

I bet they smooch at some point. Hey, end of the world – might as well get in some booty action before aliens take that from us as well and make it their 6th Wave.

P.S. The 5th Wave is based on the popular young adult science fiction novel of the same name by Rick Yancey. I don’t read young adult science fiction, so like, couldn’t tell you if it was good or not. Maybe it has pictures.