Sharkenstein

Sharkenstein. I don’t know why I’m rolling my eyes; this was of course bound to happen. Then again, when the film-making community regurgitates stuff like Sharkula (2015), Sharktopus (2010) and Shark Exorcist (2016), any chances for the great white shark to be nothing more than a pounded-into-the-ocean-floor punchline went out with the tide.

So here’s what someone had swimming around in their head…

“In the final days of World War II, a secret experiment to weaponize sharks is shut down and destroyed by the Third Reich. But now, 60 years later, a small ocean town is plagued by a bloodthirsty, mysterious creature, one built and reanimated using parts of the greatest killers to ever inhabit the sea – the Sharkenstein monster!”

Yeah, I’ll watch it when it comes out in August 2016. It’s part of my sickness.

FYI: Nazis using sharks seems to be the go-to plot these days. Check out Sky Sharks, due 2017…

“Deep in the ice of the antarctic, a team of geologists uncover an old Nazi laboratory still intact where dark experiments had occured. In order to conquer the world, the Nazis created modified sharks who were able to fly and whose riders are genetically mutated, undead super-humans. A miltary task force called Dead Flesh Four – reanimated US soldiers who fell in Vietnam – is put together to prevent world downfall.”

Sky Sharks

Fins up, Sharknado – you’ve just been served. Sky Sharks, featuring science enhanced Great White sharks flown by Nazi zombies, are owning you just as soon as they get enough crowd-funding to finish this obvious masterpiece in the making.

Just the trailer alone has more splattery gore than most horror movies these days. And hey, who doesn’t like airborne sharks? The Discovery Channel™ even does entire episodes dedicated to the bi-element predator.

The plot is as delicious as shark fin soup: “Deep in the ice of the Antarctic a team of geologists uncover a still-intact Nazi laboratory where dark experiments had occurred.”

“Unwittingly, the geologists unleash upon the world a top-secret experiment the Germans had been working on – modified sharks that are able to fly, whose riders are genetically mutated, undead super-humans. The only thing that can stop them and possibly save the world is a military task force called “Dead Flesh Four” – assembled from reanimated U.S. soldiers who fell in Vietnam.”

I don’t know whether to cry or weep with happiness. Sky Sharks (2016 pending) has GOT to be made. Click HERE to make my dreams come true.