Archive for Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

Celebrity Sharks

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

You know when you hear the same joke too many times, it’s just not funny anymore? Put the upcoming Sharknado: The 4th Awakens in that category. Yeah, they’re doing YET ANOTHER one. And it’s not even about the sharks anymore, but rather a cameo showcase for a ton of generally unemployable celebrities. Kinda like Hollywood Squares with splatter.

Sharknado 4th goes like this: “The events takes place five years after the East Coast was ravaged in last summer’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015) Fin, his family, and the cosmos have been blissfully sharknado-free in the intervening years, but now sharks – and ‘nados! – are being whipped up in places (and ways) least expected.”

Sounds like all they did was change the title.

Of the unending cast of consumables is Motley Crue’s Vince Neil (he quit his day job), Corey Taylor from Slipknot (he wears a mask as a career all the time – how do we know it’s the real Corey?), Gary Busey (still scarier than any shark that ever existed), and Cheryl Tiegs (old supermodels still need to work).

Sharknado: The 4th Awakens releases July 31, 2016. There’s still time for you to get a spot in the movie. Everybody else is doing it.

President Shark

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

Usually I’m a big believer in something that’s worth doing is worth overdoing. (Start with refreshing cans/bottles of refreshing Budweiser™ and go from there.)

The reason I say that is I’m not a 100% hedonist. Thinkin’ maybe 98.3% tops. So if I apply that formula to the 2013 cult sci-fi hit Sharknado (upper end of the indulgent odometer) and 2014’s Sharknado 2: The Second One (about 64%), it stands to reason that the impending Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, slated for release in late July 2015, while clearly going to the well once too often, should come in at 41% on my gluttony-for-bad-movies scale. Why? What else can they do with the plot?

Here’s the filmmaker’s argument: “The battle between man and nature lands on the steps of the Nation’s capital where the latest storm is threatening to destroy everything from Washington D.C. to Florida. It’s up to returning heroes Tara Reid and Ian Ziering to squash this storm for good. Also appearing in the third film will be Mark Cuban as the President of the United States, Ann Coulter as the VP, Chris Jericho as a roller coaster operator, and Jerry Springer as a tourist.”

Ugh. You know you’re scraping bottom when you put Jerry Springer in your movie.

So will I watch Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!? Maybe. Depends on how many refreshing cans/bottles of Budweiser™ I have under my belt.