Naked Scream Queen, Sunken Horror, Bad Breath Witch

Night of the Demons premiered in 1988, instantly becoming a modern horror classic and further cementing star Linnea Quigley’s status as a scream queen icon. And it had absolutely nothing to do with her topless scene and where she applied her lipstick. Ahem. Historical note: Linnea’s full frontal naked dance scene on a grave in 1985’s Return of the Living Dead as Trash, a punk rocker with safety pins where safety pins shouldn’t be used, caused many a rewind moment in VHS history.

Now you can relive Night of the Demons in its unrated form — hosted by Linnea — during its 35th anniversary screening on Friday, April 28 at the Capitol Theatre in Arlington, MA. And tickets are only $10. That can buy a lot of lipstick. Linnea will be on hand to introduce the film and participate in a post-screening Q&A. I can see hands going up as we speak.

So while we re-watch Return of the Living Dead and then pull up our pants during the end credits, here are a few out now horror movies that may or may not need you to wash up after viewing…

PILLOW PARTY MASSACRE / Out now (VOD)

“Five girls, five best friends, all haunted by their past mistakes of an April Fools prank gone fatally wrong, meet again after two years for a summer week long getaway in the woods to reconnect and reconcile.”

The similarly-titled Slumber Party Massacre (1982) immediately came to mind, in which a serial killer with a phallic power drill goes after scantily-clad girls debating world politics and make-up tips during a sleepover. I don’t think Pillow Party Massacre has any politics in it.

TITANIC 666 / Out now (Tubi™)

“Dark forces from the deep rise to the surface, terrorizing all aboard from Titanic III and threatens to repeat one of history’s greatest disasters.”

Last words heard on board the Titanic: “Would you like more ice in your drink?” Last words heard on Titanic III: “Think anybody’s gonna watch this disaster?”

FORGIVENESS / Out now (VOD)

“Three women mysteriously wake up in a hospital and discover that one of them is deaf, one is mute and the other one is blind; together they will have to figure out why they are there and how to get out.”

See no doctor bills, hear no doctor bills, pay no doctor bills.

PANTAFA / Out now (VOD)

“Marta and her daughter Nina move to Malanotte, a small mountain village. The little girl has been suffering from hypnagogic paralysis for some time, a sleep disorder which can lead to hallucinatory states, and Marta thought that a bit of mountain air and distance from the frenetic rhythm of city life might benefit the little girl. However, the house they move into is anything but welcoming, and children are never seen playing in the streets of Malanotte. Nina’s symptoms begin to worsen from the very first night in the new house, and the little girl has more and more vivid nightmares in which a ghostly figure sits on her chest, immobilizes her and steals her breath. For Marta, a single mother in a place she finds increasingly sinister, it will become harder every day to know what is best for her child.”

If a ghost woman wants to sit on my chest, she’ll have to buy me a drink first.

Godzilla’s Space Brother, Drug Skin, Psycho Sex Babysitter

SpaceGodzilla may have only one film credit to his name (Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla /1994), but with his New Age crystal padded shoulders and out-of-town swagger, he made a lasting impression, if not visually, but all over Japan’s infrastructure. And now you can own a piece of the rock with Mondo’s™ limited release of the SpaceGodzilla soft vinyl figure. Never has wanton destruction seemed so desirable.

From Mondo’s website: “This Kaiju toy measures 9.5” tall, 10” long, and 6.5” wide and is priced at $150.00. It’s designed and sculpted by Hector Arce and comes packaged in a box with art by Francesco Francavilla. Limited to 400, it’s expected to ship in July.”

For those who have yet to see Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla, it goes a little something like this: “Godzilla is threatened by two new forces: Mogera — another UN-built machine, and SpaceGodzilla — a beast spawned from Godzilla’s particles in space.”

So while we all “launch” our own “particles” into space and wait to see what comes back to haunt us, here are a few out now/up and coming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be made better with New Age crystals…

MARVIN / Out Now (Amazon Prime Video™, Tubi™)

“After the incident, Albert, a family practitioner, aimlessly searches for the perfect sure for his son’s gruesome face. For the last 20 years, he’s been secretly collecting skins, donated by the local town sheriff. The only criteria is they must possess the raw hide of a junkie. This gives a whole new meaning to ‘operation’ drug bust.”

The raw hide of a junkie. Sounds like that’d be an nifty title for a Carcass album.

SPOONFUL OF SUGAR / March 2023 (Shudder™)

“A disturbed babysitter experiences a sexual awakening while using LSD to alternatively treat a child from a family with dark secrets of their own.”

With my luck, this one’ll probably be rated PG.

AXE2GRIND / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“Debbie Wilkins is released after serving 10 years in a psychiatric hospital in upstate New York for her murder spree on the set of The Bayou Butcher. Wilkins, who still has unresolved issues and vendettas to settle, picks up where she left off after reuniting with her twisted accomplice Norman Poindexter. Meanwhile, Debbie’s ex, Peter Burgess, has been having nightmares about the possibility that Wilkins might be released from prison and has turned to a therapist to deal with his trauma and guilt from past events. But are they just nightmares, or is Debbie Wilkins going to put their past relationship to rest for good?”

This one stars Debbie Rochon, the undisputed Scream Queen, what with having appeared in over 200 horror movies, give or take. And in half of those, she’s actually wearing clothes. 

SPRING LAKES / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“When Marcus, a down-and-out struggling filmmaker, goes on a search for his missing sister Sheila in Spring Lakes, he encounters strange and mysterious occurrences in the form of a satanic cult and other superstitious beliefs. Marcus must find his sister before he, too, becomes engulfed by the living forest and suffers the same fate as his sister.”

If you’re down and out and struggling, shouldn’t you be looking for a job instead of your sister? Then again, maybe the satanic cult would hire you to hand of recruitment fliers downtown.