Archive for Satanists

Artsy Godzilla, Clown Lodgings, Scary Streets

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 23, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla Aftershock

Killer cover art for Godzilla Aftershock, the just released official graphic novel prequel to Godzilla: King of the Monsters (May 31, 2019). It’s times like this I wish I knew how to read. Fortunately, it looks to have lots of cool pictures.

Godzilla Afterchock

Godzilla Aftershock was authored by Arvid Nelson and illustrated by Drew Edward Johnson. They seem nice. And here’s why: “The brilliant and driven Monarch operative Dr. Emma Russell races to stop the threat as clues emerge to reveal a terrible secret — a tragedy of apocalyptic proportions from the distant past that changed the course of human history, is returning to threaten it once more. A shadowy figure stalks Emma’s every move as she travels the globe to uncover secrets, while Godzilla clashes in an ancient rivalry as old as the Earth itself.”

Godzilla Aftershock

You can get Godzilla Aftershock in hardcover for $18.71 on Amazon.com (free shipping if you’re a Prime™ member). While you’re clicking “Buy The F*ck Now” button, grab the Godzilla Aftershock Variant for $22.49 with exclusive cover illustration by Art Adams. He seems nice as well.

For those of us who don’t know how to read, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not seem nice…

Clown Motel

CLOWN MOTEL (June 4, 2019)
“A group of ghost hunters return home from Las Vegas. When they arrive at the Clown Motel, they’re left to discover if it is really abandoned and haunted by the souls of the clowns that once lived there.”

Clowns live in motels? I thought they lived in colorful tents.

Project Ithaca

PROJECT ITHACA (June 7, 2019)
“Five strangers awaken to find themselves trapped aboard an alien spaceship that seems to be harnessing their terror to power the ship. They begin to understand that these species have been abducting humans for decades and possibly centuries.”

I harness my terror to power my bladder. In space no one can hear me stream.

Clinton Road

CLINTON ROAD (June 14, 2019)
“A widowed fire fighter seeks closure after his wife goes missing on an actual haunted road in rural New Jersey, but must unlock the road’s secret if he wants to get out alive.”

Clinton Road is a real stretch of street in New Jersey where sightings of spookified ghosts are commonplace, as are weirdo creatures, stinky witches and jaywalking Satanists. The real horror, however, is that Clinton Road has the country’s longest traffic light wait.

Terminator: Dark Fate

TERMINATOR: DARK FATE (November 1, 2019)
Terminator: Dark Fate takes place the day after Judgment Day, and Sarah Connor is locked, loaded, and ready to roll.”

Sarah’s been dusting up with unstoppable future robots since 1984. She’s like the Laurie Strode of the future.

Vampire TV, Intellectual Grave-Digging, Cellphone Evil

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

What We Do In The Shadows

A couple of cool new key art posters for the impending What We Do In The Shadows TV series arriving March 27. 2019. Cooler, still —  like radioactive flatulence, these things glow in the dark.

What We Do In The Shadows

I’ve tagged this before, but anything worth peating is worth repeating: “Set in Staten Island, FX’sWhat We Do in the Shadows series follows three vampires who have been roommates for hundreds and hundreds of years.”

What We Do IN The Shadows

The same-titled 2014 movie from which this is derived was one of those unexpected home run hits and, like that spore-like stuff in my fridge — continues to grow — will, without hyperbole, become the greatest comedy vampire movie of all time. Okay, clunky sentence. My head hurts.

Until the series debuts next month, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make your farts glow-in-the-dark…

Pet Graveyard

PET GRAVEYARD (April 2, 2019)
“A group of friends are tormented by the Grim Reaper and his sinister pet after they undergo an experiment that allows them to revisit the dead.”

You’d think this Pet Sematary (1989/2019) rip-off is coming from Asylum Studios, who are pros at ripping off original ideas. But someone else is using Asylum’s own business model to get away with the same thing. Hey, Asylum — how does that taste?

Sadako

SADAKO (May 24, 2019/Japan)
“A YouTuber tries to awaken Sadako’s curse.”

Not much to go on, but Sadako — along with Kayako — are two of Japan’s most bankable horror movie icons. Outside of Godzilla and his frenemies, that is. And yes, you’ll have to go to Japan to watch this when it comes out. Bring me back something, ‘k?

We Summon The Darkness

WE SUMMON THE DARKNESS (2019)
“The killing spree of murderous Satanists has already led to 18 deaths throughout America’s Heartland. Three best friends Alexis, Val and Beverly embark on a road trip to a heavy metal music festival. Naive, they bond with three seemingly fun-loving dudes and soon the group heads off to Alexis’ country home, a very secluded place, for an after-party. What should be a night of fun and youthful debauchery may instead take a dark, deadly turn. With killers on the loose, can anyone be trusted?”

Who cares about generic Satanists? I wanna know what bands are on the bill at the heavy metal festival. Hopefully, a few that kill with riffs and solos instead of sprees.

Larry

LARRY (2019/20120)
“A troubled young boy and his family become the target of a monster that materialized through electronic devices such as smart phones and tablets.”

The irony here being that smart phones and tablets are already the monsters in our lives. And yes, they took the concept from 1989’s Shocker. Horror never forgets.