Archive for satanic cult

Box Set Ghost, India Werewolf, Demon Blackmail

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, paranormal, Werewolves, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Fans of J-horror will make leakage in their kimono over the definitive box set compilation of Ju-On: The Grudge, Japan’s landmark upset ghost franchise. Releasing December 19, 2022, the five-disc set, with a metric ton of extras, sells for $70.00 fun bucks (or 10,417.00 yen), though you can find it $10.00 cheaper on sale if you’d just put in the time to dig around. Click HERE to see all the ingredients.

What’s that you say? You don’t know what Ju-On is? Prepare to be educated via their press release: “Ju-On is the name given to a deadly curse spawned when someone dies in the grip of a violent rage. All who come into contact with it are doomed. Collected together for the first time, writer-director Takashi Shimizu’s Ju-On: The Grudge series represents the flesh-crawling pinnacle of Japanese chillers that swept the globe at the turn of the millennium.”

“The films introduce the anonymous family house in the suburbs of Tokyo where an unspeakable evil lingers alongside its residents, the ghastly mother-son pairing of Kayoko and Toshio Saeki. Shimizu’s disconcerting approach to plotting, unnerving eye for the uncanny details in the dark corners of the frame and an innate talent for effective jump scares so impressed Evil Dead director Sam Raimi that he invited the director to helm two Hollywood remakes.”

So while you go online to buy the box set, which contains all the Grudge movies and has the same long black stringy haired white faced demon ghost in every one of ‘em, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not make you want to fashionably style your stringy hair…

DEMONS AT DAWN / October 28, 2022 (VOD)

“A retired hitman is blackmailed into taking one last job. However, during his mission, he uncovers a satanic cult that uses human sacrifice to summon demons.”

Human sacrifice seems so ancient Inca. Why can’t satanic cults just summon demons using Facebook™ like everybody else?

BHEDIYA / November 25, 2022 (Theaters)

Bhaskar gets bitten by a mythical wolf and begins to transform into a creature himself. In order to find answers about his condition and turn himself back into a human he must then team with a group of ragtag buddies before it’s too late.”

This one’s being billed as India’s very first creature comedy. About time, geez. A preview said “Bhediya essentially looks like Bollywood’s answer to An American Werewolf in London.” Better title: A Mumbai Werewolf in India.

MEAN-SPIRITED /Pending release, 2023

“A wannabe YouTuber™ who set out to bury the hatchet with his celebrity friend, just to find out that he is not quite himself anymore.”

A wanna be YouTuber™. That’s like being hired to be the assistant to the guy who just got promoted from janitor to cashier at Kinkos™.

DON’T COME BACK ALIVE / Pending release, 2022/2023

“Police officer Camila, criminal prosecutor Fátima, and police detective Ángel, are used to face extremely dangerous situations, gruesome murder cases and evil criminals. During an operation in a dangerous area, they have an encounter with a female albino figure in a suicide-by-immolation ritual. This being, more powerful than death itself, is here to play with them a wicked game.”

So by going up in flames, you turn yourself into something more powerful than an overheated lava lamp itself? You set the bar way too low, man.

17 Godzillas, Pool Monsters, Satanic Country Clubs

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Another key art treatment for Godzilla: King of the Monsters (May 31, 2019). This would be the ninth one, and I hope they make nine more. I need to cover an entire wall that needs paint. The latest trailer asks the question, how many Titans (embiggened monsters) are there? To which Dr. Ishiro Serizawa replies: “17 — and counting.” I bet one of ‘em is living in the apartment above me, stomping on the floor like it was Tokyo.”

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

To quell your nervous anticipation for the movie, here are a few upcoming/now available horror movies that may or may not be as horrifying as a paint neglected wall…

Drowning Echo

DROWNING ECHO (available now)
“During a visit to friends, Sara begins having visions and is attacked by an unearthly creature in her friend’s swimming pool; she soon discovers that anyone who comes into contact with the water is in danger and she is driven to confront the mystical and malevolent creature lurking in the depths.”

When I was a kid and visited local community swimming pools, the unearthly creature at the bottom of the pools was usually a turd. I didn’t do it. But I know who did: Republicans.

The Velocipastor

THE VELOCIPASTOR (2019)
“After a devastating family tragedy, a priest travels to China to find deeper spirituality, but instead is endowed with an ancient ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first, he is horrified by his newfound superpower, but a local prostitute convinces him to use his newfound gift to fight evil — and ninjas.”

So a priest who can turn into a dinosaur or “Jesus horse.” Now THERE’S a way to make religion way more interesting. Wrote about this back in 2011. Kinda surprised I can remember back that far. It was a trailer for a movie that hadn’t been made yet. Now, all these multiple months later, it’s here. Thank Dino Lord.

Hail Satan?

HAIL SATAN? (2019)
“The Satanic Temple, a mysterious organization led by Lucien Greaves, has called for a Satanic revolution to save the soul of the US.”

One nation, under Satan, for meanness and evil for all. Isn’t that what’s going on now?

Satanic Panic

SATANIC PANIC (2019/20120)
“Times are tough for Sam. Already a cancer survivor at 22, she eeks out a meager existence delivering pizza for minimum wage — and minimum tips — while dealing with an exploitative boss and obnoxious coworkers. When the final delivery of the night promises to take her to a wealthy neighborhood with the chance of a healthy tip, she takes the opportunity to make up for an unprofitable shift. What begins as a quest for cash ends up as a quest for survival, though, when it turns out her customers aren’t who she’s used to delivering to. Instead, they’re a Satanic cult of a very different color: high-society elites for whom worshiping the Dark Lord coexists with country clubs and casseroles.”

A high-society Satanic cult that hangs out in country clubs and eats pizza and casseroles instead of chi-tos (heh)? Clearly, there are more perks to being evil than originally assessed.

Godzilla Bombs, Demon Police, Head App

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Oxygen Destroyer

Been keeping an i-ball (heh) open for continuing information on the 2019 Godzilla movie, which is scheduled to include G-foes Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah. Recently leaked is the news that this kaiju rodeo is flashing respect to the original Godzilla movie (1954) with the inclusion of the famous Oxygen Destroyer, the science water bomb (made by the FIRST Dr. Serizawa) that melted Godzilla’s flesh off his super-sized bones. That Godzilla somehow came back to life and starred in a plethora of sequels is probably noteworthy.

Speaking of bombs, will the new Oxygen Destroyer be able to  stop the new Godzilla ’n super friends from turning the Earth’s landscape into garden mulch? While we all ponder that, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not bomb at the box office…

Demon Hunter

DEMON HUNTER (August 15, 2017/VOD)
“Captured by police for questioning in the slaying of a man she claimed was a demon, Taryn Barker must prove her innocence, and the existence of demons. But when a cult captures the daughter of one of the detectives on the case, the police must trust, and unleash, this warrior on the Satanic group who are intent on bringing an ancient evil force into the world.”

Where would we be without demon hunters? I certainly don’t want to have to clean up those evil messes. I did enough of that as a bus station bathroom attendant.

Rememory

REMEMORY (August 24, 2017)
“The body and unexplained death of Gordon Dunn, a visionary scientific pioneer, is found shortly after the unveiling of his newest work: a device able to extract, record and play a person’s memories. Gordon’s wife, Carolyn, retreats into her house and cuts off contact with the outside world when a mysterious man shows up. After stealing the machine, he uses it to try and solve the mystery, beginning an investigation of memories that lead him to unexpected and dangerous places.”

A device that can record and playback memories probably isn’t science fiction (Apple™ is no doubt working on an iPhone™ app as we speak). I won’t be buying one — some memories are better left buried. Those I can remember, anyway.

House By The Lake

HOUSE BY THE LAKE (2017/2018)
“A struggling married couple try to reconnect at an idyllic lake house, but their relationship is tested when their young daughter begins to fixate on an imaginary friend that may or may not be real.”

Couldn’t be Bigfoot as he’s not imaginary. Her “friend” is likely one of those lake monsters. I hear they live in lakes. Wonder if Bigfoot has ever seen a lake monster during one of his frequent nature walks?

Boots On The Ground

BOOTS ON THE GROUND (2018)
“Five British soldiers try to stay alive on the last night of the Afghan War, facing not just the Taliban, but also supernatural forces more terrifying than anything they’ve encountered before.”

If anyone can take down a supernatural force, it’s the British. Just look at what Harry Potter was able to accomplish with a stick and a broom.

Wolf, Man

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Wolfman

After his dad is stabbed with a silver dagger by his own stinkin’ cousins, Colin Glasgow returns home from traveling the world to inherit the family fortune. Every cloud has a silver lining. The inheritance’s only condition is Colin has to stay in the Glasgow Manor for 30 days. In werewolf speak, until the next full moon.

Wolfman

Seems his family was cursed by a satanic cult, which turned his dad – and soon himself – into some sort of a man dog. When Colin finally does wolf up, he looks as though he rubbed his face with a Gluestick™ and dunked his head in a bucket of barber clippings.

Wolfman

Colin spends the next hour running around and killing people with his shirt buttoned all the way up to his neck, probably because they didn’t have enough stunt hair to cover his chest. Colin’s attacks aren’t that inspired, either, as he just does the “I’ll choke you!” thing on everyone.

Wolfman

Had the ancient dagger in my pocket been real silver and not plastic, I could’ve spared myself the agony of watching Wolfman (1979), which took me until just yesterday to get through since I started watching it in 1979.

Demonic Doggy

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Devil Dog: The Hound From Hell

As horror movie “monsters” go, you’d have to dig deep to find one worse than the malevolent mutt in Devil Dog: The Hound From Hell (1978). Beside boasting one of the worst movie titles to ever come out of a movie studio boardroom, the purgatory pup, with horns, looks likes he’s been listening to a bit too much punk rock and dressing like Liza Mannelli.

With no attempt to explain why, a Northern California suburban satanic cult in nutty purple robes buys a female German shepherd, ties her to a pentagram, and invokes you-know-who to use the dog as a host. To what end? To do evil stuff. Duh.

Devil Dog: The Hound From Hell

The possessed dog give birth to ten pups, one of which ends up in a middle-class household with shag carpeting for miles: dad, sexy mom, a teen due and a pre-teen tweener. The family dog was just run over, so time to get over it and accept the new little poop maker from a stranger.

Devil Dog: The Hound From Hell

A year later, Lucky (slick name) make his eyes glow and bad things happen. The maid catches on fire. Dad nearly sticks his hand into Hollywood lawn mower blades. Prince, the neighbor’s suspicious Great Dane, mysteriously gets chomped to death. Now it’s the Dog Formerly Known as Prince. And yeah, his owner ends up face down in a really nice swimming pool. (It should be noted Lucky stays in regular dog mode and only powers up when he needs to eliminate perceived threats to domain.)

Devil Dog: The Hound From Hell

His family now under the spell of Lucky and doing bad things themselves (the son stole a watch, the criminal), dad figures things out and consults a hippie zodiac woman who tells him he’s f’d in the b-hole unless he goes to Ecuador to find a spiritual Indian Shaman in a cave who draws a protective pentagram on dad’s palm.

Devil Dog: The Hound From Hell

Dad comes home and draws Devil Dog to the industrial plant where he works in a plush office. Cornered in a room with pipes blowing off a little steam, D-Dog appears all dressed up and about ten times the size he used to be. Hate to clean up after one of his pooping sprees. This, of course, is one of the lamest special effects in modern horror cinema – it’s a projected image, with Lucky barking out his bloodthirsty tales while dad struggles with emoting.

Outside of dad shining his protected palm at Lucky and sending him back to Hell’s Kennel, you already know the “twist” ending – and it has a lot to do with you shutting off the TV.

Devil On Demand

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Devil's Due

Geez, the Devil is a busy gal. Besides constantly putting really fun ideas in my head, the Ultimate Evil Entity, despite being as fictional as her counterpart, is in big demand these days as a horror movie subject, the latest being Here Comes The Devil (documented in the blog posting before this one) and now with Devil’s Due, a new spooky horror flick due out January 17, 2014, which is 93 days from now. (Man, I love math – it’s so occasionally useful.)

Devil’s Due press release: “After a mysterious, lost night on their honeymoon, a newlywed couple finds themselves dealing with an earlier-than-planned pregnancy. While recording everything for posterity, the husband begins to notice odd behavior in his wife that they initially write off to nerves, but, as the months pass, it becomes evident that the dark changes to her body and mind have a much more sinister origin.”

Dark changes to her mind and body. No doubt she shotguns Jagermeister™.

Devil's Due

Devil’s Due should not be confused with the 1973 pornographical movie of the same title. In that one a young girl fleeing an abusive home life arrives in New York City and becomes involved in a satanic cult. She conspires with the cult leader’s two lesbian assistants to take over the coven. Marketing bonus: There’s LOTS of up close naked stuff.

Devil's Due

Also, don’t confuse either with erotic romance novels (stories without pictures) sporting the same title as well. As I’ve said before, books are for people who don’t have TVs.