When Godzilla Became Frankenstein

Super duper annoying when (and I use the term loosely) people mistakenly – to this franken day – think Frankenstein is the monster instead of Dr. Victor Frankenstein, the guy who puzzled together the monster from scrap corpse parts. And while the brute doesn’t have a proper title other than “the monster,” you get the misnomer; the name “Frankenstein” is pretty dang classic, right up there with iconic nom de plumes names like “Godzilla,” “Dracula” and “Lord Voldemort.”

No surprise the Germans – Frankenstein’s kin — regularly slapped the popular “monster” name on imported horror advertising art to help sell movie tickets, even though Frank wasn’t so much as in the credits. (Did Frankenstein or his heirs get paid for this unlicensed usage? Hölle nein!)

An example of this is Ebirah, Horror From the Deep, aka, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (1966). Initial German ad art had the movie titled, Frankenstein und die Ungeheuer dem Meer (or, Frankenstein and the Beast from the Sea). And while the advertising depicts Godzilla (what – no promo headshot?), they didn’t want to gamble the movie’s box office on a name that’s only been around for a few relative years, whereas Frankenstein was globally established and universally recognized since 1931. In that context, it makes sense.

Frankenstein’s good name has been co-opted/dragged through the mud over the years for this very same reason. But think about it – would you rather take your queasy vehicle to Bob’s Car Care or Frankenstein’s Complete Auto Restoration? I rest my case.

Gasp in awe at the misbranded examples above, including King Kong: Frankenstein’s Son (aka, King Kong Escapes/1962) that’ll leave you staunen (“stunned” for all you Bob’s Car Care types).

P.S. Only Spain’s Santo Contra La Hija De Frankestein (aka, Santo Against Daughter Frankenstein/1972) and Santo y Blue Demon Contra el Dr. Frankestein (aka, Santo and Blue Demon Against Dr. Frankenstein/1974) got it at least medically correct even though they couldn’t spell Frank’s name right on the advertising.

Putting Science In A Mexican Headlock

If you’re gonna go to all that trouble to become a scientist, you may as well hit the gas and turn into a mad one. Be all you can be.

And like all mad scientists, at the top the Doc’s “things to transplant today” list is taking the brains from young women and putting them in different fruit baskets. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

While it would be another two decades before Dr. Moreau would perfect this technique, the mad medical man employs a half-man/half gorilla upgrade named Gomar (cool name) to help him procure the brains of women pro wrestlers, the reasoning being that pro wrestler brains are smarter. (The regular chick brains were deemed too dumb, which is why the experiments always ended in death by dying.)

As intellectually superior as the Doc is, he probably shouldn’t have used the brains of one of the women wrestler’s sister. I feel a pay-per-view coming on. While we’re not privy to exposed particulate matter and head gunk, we do get to see the lady wrestlers in pajamas and nighties fend off kidnapping attempts. I felt this was necessary to the plot.

Doctor of Doom/1962 (aka, The Wrestling Women vs. the Murderous Doctor), is another whiz bang chapter in the exciting sci-fi/horror/pro wrestling genre pioneered by Santo (aka, El Santo, aka The Saint), Mexico’s lucha libre savior/superhero from the day he was born in 1917 until he assumed his place on Mt. Olympus in 1984.

I’d totally go out with a female pro wrestler, because I’m attracted to chicks with brains that are enriched with smart ingredients.

Wrestling With Dracula And Wolf Man

In this 1972 action-packed supernatural bout, undefeated pro wrestler/crime fighter/super hero Santo and his bestest buddy Blue Demon go after the recently resurrected Dracula and his servant, Rufus Rex (aka, the Wolfman).

The ill-intent criminals’ plan is to kidnap some chicks and sacrifice them to Satan, their employer. Before that can be done they have to assemble an army of vampires and wolf men. They accomplish this by biting people.

The inevitable “no falls/no disqualification” match in the Chamber of Caves is the very definition of action. As if fighting off an army of wolf men wasn’t exciting enough, all the werewolves are wearing sweaters and button-up shirts. Their chests and hands aren’t hairy, though. Spanish werewolves don’t have to obey the rules, man.

Santo and Blue Demon pull out their best moves to vanquish the sinvergüenzas sucios (look it up). As with all the great Santo movies, it begins and ends with real wrestling matches (two out of three falls). The third one – against El Angel and that godd*mn Renato The Hippie – is almost as good as the movie itself, with priceless commentary from the announcer: “Blue Demon is attentive!” “The multitude’s idols win again!” and my fav, “Get away, hippie!”

Santo & Blue Demon vs. Dracula & The Wolfman (1973) is sub-titled. But for real fun, turn ’em off and watch it in Spanish. I translated one killer wrestling move as, “Aiiyeee – he just pulled my neck! Referee – make him stop!”

Interpreting Spanish is so easy, I’m surprised more people don’t do it.