Archive for Rogue

Red Billabong: Fair Dinkham Horror

Posted in Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Red Billabong

Red Billabong is an upcoming Australian creature feature horror movie. But the title doesn’t reflect the monster’s name, but rather a pond formed when its water source gets all attitude-y and changes its life direction, cutting itself off from the rest flow. In the States we call that a “tide pool.” Billabong™ is also a popular sports wear fashion company.

Red Billabong

So what does a stagnant pond and overpriced yet surprisingly stain-resistant cargo shorts have to do with a mythical creature? Hopefully, nothing. Unless the monster lives in the pond and wears a swimsuit that comes in a colorful array of expensive styles.

Here’s what lies Down Under: “Two estranged brothers and their friends are pulled into a world of mystery and lies when their grandfather’s property is passed into their hands. As both brothers are pulled apart by different choices, one thing is clear – something sinister is going on. As people go missing the brothers learn secrets that will change their life forever – but what is out there? A myth? A hoax? Or could it really be…real?”

Red Billabong

I’m hoping it’s real, because I’m all about being legit.

Since we’re on the topic, there have been notable Australian creature horror movies prior featuring zombie farm animals (Black Sheep/2006), super-sized crocodiles (Rogue/2007), giant human-eating pigs (Razorback/1984), all of nature’s creatures plus a dugong, which is a fat ass sea cow (The Long Weekend/1978 & 2008), and Waterborne (2015), starring a “zombieroo,” the world’s first zombie kangaroo. (They should call it The Hopping Dead. I’m probably the only one who thinks that’s funny.)

Waterborne

Note to selves: As of this word-barfing Waterborne is a film short designed to attract crowd-funding for a future full-length feature.

Red Billabong is supposed to come out sometime in 2015. Regardless of what the creature turns out to be, I can hardly for the sequel: Plaid Billabong.

People McNuggets

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , on January 18, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Rogue

When you get down to it, giant crocodiles eating people is a solid business model. You have your scenic outdoor sequences, nature narratives, screamy tourists, and hey, no unnecessary story lines – just meet ’n eat.

Rogue

A bowlful, uh, boatload of tourists vacationing in Australia go up the wrong river without a paddle. Something – I’m not saying what – smashes into their flotation device and flips it over, forcing them to swim for a small mud island.

Rogue

Some can dog-paddle faster than others. Good for them. Those who can’t… You may as well call the sandbar a dinner plate as it isn’t much of a safe haven due to a fast rising tide, leaving the leftovers, uh, tourists to figure out how to get across the river to what they think is safe ground. From here on out it’s a guessing game to see which annoying tourist gets snacked in half and in what order before the “into the croc pot” ending.

Rogue The tourist guide – a blonde supermodel – still thinks she’s in charge. That is, until Mr. Snappy makes out with her with his toothy kiss of death. So much for a second date.

Rogue

Great butt-clenching tension as everyone tries to get to dry land on a rope line suspended a few feet over the water. The angle of the dangle. You know what’s gonna happen, but it’s still fun to see it all go down. (Yeah, down Mr. Snappy’s throat – ha!)

Rogue

The crocodile of the moment is pretty big (the credits say 23 feet in length), doesn’t look fake and prefers a side order of screaming with his meals. Which makes Rogue (2007) on par with the other exact plot croc movie, Black Water (2007) and almost as good as Primeval (2007). Like I said, a solid business model.