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Horror Trivia, Dead Dump, Ghost Boat

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition

As first reported by Reddit and not the fake news, USAopoly™ has released Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition™, just in time for the upcoming alt-Christian holiday All Hallow’s Eve, which is like Christmas for Planet Halloween™.

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition

The details are as cool as the $19.99 price: 600 questions that cover 100 years of the horror genre, with topics like epic monster movies, the paranormal, slasher and goriest movies. I just soiled myself.

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition

You can get this delivered right to your face mailbox through Amazon™ or GameStop™. Before you get to clickin’, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not fall into one or more of Trivial Pursuit’s Horror Movie™ categories…

I'll Take Your Dead

I’LL TAKE YOUR DEAD (2018/2019)
William has a simple job: he makes dead bodies disappear. Through circumstances out of his control, his little farm house in the country has become a dumping ground for the casualties of the gang related murders in the nearby city. His daughter Gloria has become used to the rough looking men dropping off corpses and is even convinced that some of them haunt their house. After a woman’s body is dumped at the house, William begins his meticulous process when he realizes that she’s not actually dead. As the gang activity increases, William patches up the woman and holds her against her will until he can figure out what to do with her. As they begin to develop an unusual respect for each other, the woman’s murderers get word that she’s still alive and make a plan to finish what they started.”

Dumping bodies on a farm? That’s why they’re called criminals; bodies can be recycled instead of becoming rodent/bug-attracting illegal landfill. If they can figure it out in Soylent Green (1973), so can we do it today.

Alive

ALIVE (2018)
“A male patient, badly injured from an unknown event, is trying to piece together his checkered past.”

This is normally referred to as a Defcon 1 hangover. It’s a moment when you come out of your alcoholic coma to find your body looking like raw hamburger. As painful as it is, you know there’s a really great — and highly likely — funny story behind it all.

The Boat

THE BOAT (2018)
“A lone fisherman on his daily run finds himself lost in a thick fog, which proves impossible to navigate. The worst is yet to come when his encounter with a seemingly abandoned sailboat becomes a fight for survival against an enemy unknown.”

Cool — ghost boat! Guess the life preservers didn’t work after all. Wonder if this event happened on a…May day. Heh.

Brothers’ Nest

BROTHERS’ NEST (2018)
“Two brothers are intent on murdering their stepfather before their dying mother changes her will in his favor.”

That’s one way to do it. Another way would be to dress up as the mom, go to the bank, and make a hefty withdrawal. I’ve heard that works 17% of the time. I’ll take those odds.

Skinwalkers, Prime Time Cults, Evil Birdhouses

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Dead Birdhouse

Every time I think there are no more cool things to distract me from real life, up pops a thing so cool, life itself becomes meaningless. This time it’s The Evil Dead (1981) horror cabin made into a birdhouse. Made by Reddit’s murdrfaze — and soon-to-be for sale (albeit severely limited to 10) — the birdhouses are constructed by hand and the rock chimney made from creek stones. I feel that’s pretty dang cool.

I’d probably buy one but I think all the birds in my neighborhood are already possessed by the same demons that made The Evil Dead cabin so evil. If you could see how many times I have to wash the bird crap off my car, you’d swear some giant, flying beaked monster ate a high fiber city and decided to pooptie all over my hooptie.

Speaking of things that may or may not make you wanna soil yourself (or on someone else’s car that’s not mine), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that could qualify as being quite craptacular…

The Monster Project

THE MONSTER PROJECT (August 18, 2017)/Limited/VOD)
“A group of aspiring horror filmmakers, eager to raise their YouTube™ subscriber count, post an online casting call for ‘real life’ monsters to interview for their documentary. They find three participants and choose to film them sharing their haunted experiences in a mansion in the woods on the night of a lunar eclipse. The production suddenly turns into a nightmare when the participants transform into a real skinwalker, vampire, and demon forcing the unsuspecting crew to fight for their lives.”

Cool title and premise. Wish they called me to be one of the monsters; I think I’d make for a pretty good werewolf/skinwalker, what with my long hair and penchant for ribeye steaks with a side of khakis. And no, I wouldn’t go around sniffing butts. Even as a werewolf, I’d maintain at least a few social standards.

AHS: Cult

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: CULT (September 5, 2017)
“Politics and clowns play a pivotal role in AHS: Cult.”

Clowns and politicians. Thought they were one in the same. The new art, though, suggests bees will somehow be around to create a buzz (heh) about AHS’s seventh season. I hear it’ll be an 11-episode dealie. Was not a big fan of season six (Roanoke), though I did like season 5 (Hotel). Pretty dang gory, violent and entertaining because of those two essential horror ingredients. So for season seven, keep those and just add a little…honey. (Heh.)

Leatherface

LEATHERFACE
(September 21, 2017/DirecTV/October 20, 2017Theatrical/VOD)

“Jessica Madsen plays one of four inmates who escape from a mental hospital. One of them becomes the title character and iconic slasher. The quartet kidnap a young nurse and take her on a road trip from hell. Along the way, they are pursued by an equally deranged lawman out for revenge.”

Wrote about this one back on October 25 of the year 2016 A.D.. But hey, new poster and a locked ’n loaded (finally) release date. Here’s some more info that’ll rev up you — it’s being given an R rating for “strong bloody violence, disturbing images, language and some sexuality/nudity.” I have no problem with that.

Camp Cold Brook

CAMP COLD BROOK (in production)
Camp Cold Brook centers around a horrific incident in 1993 when dozens of young campers, without warning, stand at attention, seemingly in a hypnotic trance, and proceed to attack not only each other but the staff as well with deadly intent. The survivors then bind their feet with rope tethered to large rocks and drag themselves into the nearby lake.”

“Twenty-five years later, reality TV ghost hunter Jack Wilson finds himself in a tough spot. His show, Haunted Places, is on the brink of being canceled. In a last ditch effort to spark ratings to land a final season, he and his producers, as well as their trusted cameraman, choose the legend of Camp Cold Brook to try to save their show.”

“Their arrival begins like any other episode. Cameras are placed, and the team sets up shop in the dilapidated lodge and waits. But this is not going to be a regular episode. The terror here was real, and the 30 are about to rise.”

Yes, this has been done before, so quit e-yawning. That’s MY job.