Archive for Puppet Master

Killer Cakes, Reflecting Evil, Pregnant Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell

Okay, so this is pretty cool — Christine McConnell, artist/photographer/baker, is getting her own Netflix™ TV cooking show series called The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell, premiering October 12, 2018. If you don’t know her work, she’s famous (250,000 followers on Instagram™) for her horror-themed baked yummables.

The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell

From the press release: “Wickedly talented baker and artist, Christine McConnell welcomes you into her terrifyingly delicious home to create delectable confections and hauntingly disturbing decor with the help of her colorful collection of creatures.”

The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell

Awesome. Makes you wonder, though, if her Alien Facehugger cake bursts out of your stomach after you eat it. I’ve had Hostess Twinkies™ do that. While you chew on the visual, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be as tasty as artificially-flavored snack treat…

Puppet Master: Blitzkrieg Massacre

PUPPET MASTER: BLITZKRIEG MASSACRE (available now)
“This stomach-churning adventure starts off with Puppet Master: Blitzkrieg Massacre, in which The Gore Collector culls the sickest moments from the 11-film deep Puppet Master series, mashing them together with macabre music and brand new moments of body-breaking mayhem: In an unknown dystopian future, a drifter with an unusually high-tolerance for pain is held captive in a horrific hospital by The Circle of Psycho Surgeons, a clandestine crew of M.D.’s (that’s medical deviants) who are experimenting with human suffering. Suddenly, our shackled hero hears the call of The Gore Collector, a sadistic curator of carnage who is well past his prime and now seeks an heir to take over his evil operation. Escaping from the lurid lab, the drifter enters the underground lair of The Gore Collector — there the perverse programmer pops in a vile videotape and begins the process of trying to warp the man’s mind with some of the goriest and most gruesome moments from Full Moon’s iconic film franchises.”

Yeesh, talk about recycling. So this basically a greatest hits package and a way to further milk a horror franchise that, like the victims in these movies, should’ve died a long time ago.

Look Away

LOOK AWAY (October 12, 2018)
A lonely 18-year-old high schooler opens up to her reflection because of the lack of support she has from family and her peers. She switches place with her supportive, but evil, twin that she discovers in the mirror’s reflection, but the newfound freedom unleashes suppressed feelings.

My mirror twin is a real asshat. Nice hair, though.

Blessed Are The Children

BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN (October 23, 2018)
Traci Patterson, an adrift 20-something who’s still reeling from the death of her father and her breakup with an abusive fiancé, discovers that she’s pregnant. With the help of her friends, Erin and Mandy, Traci decides to terminate her pregnancy, but quickly after leaving the clinic, she begins seeing and hearing things — shapes in the corner of her eye, strange noises in the middle of the night, and ghoulish figures stalking her every move. Is it guilt or are Traci and her friends in grave danger?”

So the douchebag abusive fiancé knocked up Traci and then bailed? I think the ghoulish figures are stalking the wrong person.

The Amityville Murders

THE AMITYVILLE MURDERS (November 13, 2018)
“On the night of November 13, 1974, Ronald DeFeo, Jr. took a high-powered rifle and murdered his entire family as they slept. At his trial, DeFeo claimed that “voices” in the house commanded him to kill. Thirteen months later, the Lutz family bought the house and stayed only 28 days before fleeing in terror. Their nightmarish ordeal shocked the world in The Amityville Horror. The Lutzes may have escaped from Amityville with their lives…but the DeFeos weren’t so lucky. This is their story.”

There are three certainties in life: taxes, death and YET ANOTHER Amityville Horror spin-off. And yet I’ll probably watch it. Voices are telling me to.

Nutritious Horror, Fine Young Cannibals, Master of Puppets

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Slashers, TV Vixens, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 3, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Funko Pop

Funko™ is known for its Pops™, which makes everything from Star Wars to Edward Scissorhands into annoyingly cute and collectible action figures. Now they’re turning horror icons into breakfast foodage. I’d rather eat Funko Pops™ than collect ‘em. My morning hunger cares not for reselling on eBay™.

BeetlejuiceThis is what Funko Pop™ founder Mike Becker had to say about his company’s line of cereal: “One of the fun things is we are about to release our own line of cereal, with a mini-Pop inside. We got all the cool licenses like He-Man, Wonder Woman, Elvira Mistress of the Dark, Freddy Krueger and our own Freddy Funko. We start shipping to stores in June and we have the distribution set up and the product is pre-sold.”

Freddy Krueger

Becker goes on to say that there are prizes in each $7.99 box of cereal and that when you add milk to the Freddy Krueger cereal, it looks blood red. “With the Beetlejuice cereal,” he adds, “when you add milk, it looks like slime.” I’ll assume the Elvira cereal makes its own milk. Ahem.

Elvira

That said, I have GOT to have bloody and slimy milk for breakfast. Although, I’m wondering if anybody sees the irony in the fact that Freddy Krueger was a movie child molester/killer and is now being used to market enamel-eroding sugary cereal that would appeal to kids as well as adults?

While we ponder the moral ramifications of our breakfast choices, here are a few upcoming horror, sci-fi and fantasy movies to choke on…

The House With A Clock In Its Walls

THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS (September 21, 2018)
“10 year-old Lewis goes to live with his uncle in a creaky old house with a mysterious tick-tocking heart. But his new town’s sleepy facade jolts to life with a secret world of warlocks and witches when Lewis accidentally awakens the dead.”

I’d rather have warlocks and witches live in my walls than a noisy ticking clock. Those things can drive you bat-sh*t crazy with their non-stop drip-drip-drip and… Oops, sorry — I meant my leaky bathtub faucet. Clocks are okay. Hey, even the freshly woken dead need to know what time it is.

The Young Cannibals

THE YOUNG CANNIBALS (2018)
“Seven friends summon a monster when they are tricked into eating burgers made of human flesh.”

Wait a second — I thought all hamburgers were made of human flesh. You mean to tell me I’ve been eating cow flesh all these years instead? I’m gonna throw up.

El Habitante

EL HABITANTE (2018)
When three sisters decide to break into a corrupt senator’s house to stuff their pockets. But prying it open isn’t as simple as they thought it would be. They have to drag the senator and his wife out of their bed and scare them into spilling the beans. But there are these strange noises coming from the cellar. When the girls go down to investigate, they discover not a squeaking boiler, but their victims’ paraplegic daughter. She’s tied up and looks to have been tortured. Their parents express no sign of guilt or remorse but only pure fear. They cry: ‘Whatever you do, don’t untie her!’.

Why does that sound like something my parents would say when I was growing up?

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

PUPPETMASTER: THE LITTLEST REICH (2018/2019)
“A recently divorced young man discovers a mint condition Blade doll in his deceased brother’s closet and plans to sell the toy at a convention in Oregon celebrating the 30th anniversary of the infamous Toulon Murders. All hell breaks loose at the Postville Lodge during the auction when a strange force animates all of the various puppets throughout the convention as they go on a bloody killing spree.”

This is one of those “are you serious?” movie franchises. Watching carved puppets go on bloody killing sprees lost its appeal right after Puppet Master II: His Unholy Creation (1990) — the first Puppet Master (1989) sequel — came out in 1990. And with the release of this 12th sequel (!), you only have yourselves to blame.

Capes, Wooden Horror, Godzilla’s Frenemies

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla: King of Monsters

The new Justice League (releasing November, 2017) movie key art shows Superman, who “died” in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016), standing with the team of superheroes Batman assembled to fight what looks to be human-esque dragonflys with glow-y eyes. Wonder how they brought him back from the dead? Maybe brined his corpse in yellow sun juice or something.

This is all cool ‘n stuff, but I’m looking forward to seeing the new Aqua Man and another chance to see Wonder Woman clearing the dance floor. (If you haven’t seen the new WW movie, what the double heck is wrong with you?)

Speaking of, here’s some upcoming new horror/sci-fi to anticipate as if unwrapping a thoughtful gift from, say, 7-Eleven™…

GODZILLA: KING OF MONSTERS (March 22, 2019)
“The new story follows the heroic efforts of the crypto-zoological agency Monarch as its members face off against a battery of god-sized monsters, including the mighty Godzilla, who collides with Mothra, Rodan, and his ultimate nemesis, the three-headed King Ghidorah. When these ancient super-species — thought to be mere myths — rise again, they all vie for supremacy, leaving humanity’s very existence hanging in the balance.”

The sound you just heard was me screaming giddily. (F-you to my upstairs neighbor — you make way more noise than me.) The above info was actually teased right to your face if you sat through the end credits of Kong: Skull Island (2017), which showed petroglyphs (rock art) of Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah gettin’ their Godzilla game faces on.

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

Don’t get me wrong — I loved the MUTOs (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms) in the 2014 Godzilla movie. Heck they got more screen time than Godzilla himself, which gave the Internet external hemorrhoids. But to have three classic kaiju that first locked it up with G in 1964’s Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, is nothing short of Christmas times a billion. And I say that without hyperbole.

The Evil In Us

THE EVIL IN US (July 4, 2017 (DVD)(Walmart)/August 29, 2017 (VOD)(DVD)
“While on a fourth of July holiday, six best friends fall victim to the insidious plan of a terrorist organization when they unknowingly take a bio-active drug that transforms them into bloodthirsty cannibals.”

Bloodthirsty cannibals or…ZOMBIES? A rose by any other name. I bet the bio-active drug was an energy drink purchased at a convenient store not unlike a certain 7-Eleven™.

Annabelle Creation

ANNABELLE CREATION (August 11, 2017)
“A dollmaker and his wife who, 20 years after the tragic death of their little girl, welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home. Soon, however, the nun and the girls become the target of the dollmaker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.”

Ugh — I was hoping to avoid writing about this one again (Had to update the poster as I’m often compelled to do.) More puppet horror, which, from what the Internet is e-saying, is the start of a franchise. This was already done with the 13 Puppet Master movies, which began way back in 1989. But if Hollywood can make a quick buck, then Hollywood will.

Joigsaw

JIGSAW (October 28, 2017)
“Bodies are turning up around the city, each having met a uniquely gruesome demise. As the investigation proceeds, evidence points to one man: John Kramer. But how can this be? The man known as Jigsaw has been dead for over a decade. Or has an apprentice picked up the mantle of Jigsaw, perhaps even someone inside the investigation?”

This is more gleeful news — taking off where the brutal yet wickedly entertaining Saw franchise ended in 2010 (seven movies plus one film short). I i-burped this before, but the Saw movies combined is one of the most successful franchises in movie history. You can win bar bets with that bit ‘o information. And I have.

Fredheads

FREDHEADS (2017/2018)
FredHeads is a documentary about the fandom of A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and how it has changed the lives of so many people. The documentary will follow three fans as they tell their story and what their journey in the Nightmare community has been; some as fans, others rising through popularity. Along the way, we will be filming at conventions and getting as many fan stories as possible to feature as many fans as we can in the documentary.”

Awesome — a nice tribute to Wes Craven and his horror masterpiece. As they are filming fans at conventions, this could legally pave the way for my co-star credit along side of Freddy Krueger. Prior to this, I was just Photoshopping myself next to Freddy on all his movie posters. (In one we even appear to be BFFs.)