Archive for Prophecy

Medium-Rare Bear

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , on July 23, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Prophecy

A city doctor and his pregnant wife go to the ultra-busy woods of Maine to tend to all the sick Native American kids covered in pine cones and sores that won’t heal. Mercury poisoning, it’s discovered, is behind the face herpes.

Prophecy

The doctor discovers the saw mill has been polluting the local waterways with Mercury-based chemicals used to make logs all nice and shiny. Fish swim in that water. The fish mutate. The local Native Americans eat the fish. The Native Americans mutate.

Prophecy

Evidence to this outlandish claim lies in a horribly disfigured baby bear cub, found almost drowned to death. Unfortunately, it’s a long way back to camp and horribly disfigured mama bear is looking for her crusty kid. But she’s been busy, killing sleeping bag campers as though they were foreign tourists. Ripped, shredded, half-eaten, mangled, chewed, regurgitated… It was if they were human snack cakes at the last Drinkin’ & Drive-in Bake Sale.

Prophecy

Plenty of great moments, but the best comes when the monster bear chases them across a lake and goes into the drink in an iconic horror movie sequence. Thinking that gosh-darned thing drowned, they don’t see the bubbles heading towards shore. The bear walks all the way under the lake without scuba gear or anything resembling a snorkel!

Prophecy

No matter what they throw at mom, it still keeps coming. She looks like a reverse bear with melted skin and gut stuff on the outside where fur should be. Prophecy (1979) is loaded with gnarly nature-gone-awry action that sets you up for a sequel (pregnant mom has been eating the tainted fish).

Prophecy They never made another movie, though. Too bad; I felt Underwater Bear deserved to be been fleshed out a bit more. Oh, hey — I just got my own joke. Sweet!

This Bear Is Grizzly

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Unnatural

Like comfort food for the eyes, there’s nothin’ like a good ‘ol “nature strikes back” horror movie to reinforce why hiking/camping is not good for you, and that sitting on the couch watching hikers/campers being torn apart by our woodland friends is very good for you.

Because of that, can’t wait for Unnatural (2015), a heartwarming story about a massive, genetically altered bear, possibly polar in nature, to light up my couch life.

Unnatural

Part of After Dark’s 8 Films to Die For (hitting theaters October, 2015), Unnatural takes us into snack canyon: “A morally ambiguous corporation experiments with genetic modification resulting in the advent of a bloodthirsty man hunting creature. When it escapes, a group of unsuspecting Alaskan Natives and their inexperienced guests, which includes a high maintenance celebrity photographer and a pair of models, become prey for the abomination in a horrifying game of cat and mouse.”

Into The Grizzly Maze

It may be coincidence, but Unnatural comes in the wake of Into The Grizzly Maze, another rampaging giant bear movie just released in February 2015. Unfortunately, it only got a two-star rating. How can that be? Bears eating humans should automatically get four stars.

The Night of the Grizzly / Prophecy

There have been bear eating humans movies for decades. Two standouts are The Night of the Grizzly (1966) and Prophecy (1979). Both made me stain my britches. Two not standouts are Grizzly Rage (part of RHI Entertainment’s man-eater series, which came out in 2007) and Grizzly Park (2008). Both sucked huckleberries.

Bear

For a superior bear attack horror movie, though, give the simply titled Bear (2011) a spin. That one will make your fur stand on end and possibly cause you to stain your britches. As for me, been there, done that.