Burger King ™, the common man’s McDonald’s™, is getting into the Halloween spirit with their Scary Black Cherry Frozen Fanta drink, available now through All Hallows’ Eve. Here are the stats: 120 calories, 0g fat, 0g saturated fat, 0g cholesterol, 65mg sodium, 34g carbs, 0 g fiber, 33g sugar, 0g protein and 100g artificial flavor. But there’s an upside — the seasonal drink turns your mouth black, and by extension, whatever comes out of your bowels.
Before you race to your local Burger King™ to buy a gallon of this stuff, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not stress test your bowels…
ELI ROTH’S HISTORY OF HORROR (October 14, 2018/AMC)
“A seven-episode deep dive into the world of horror, History of Horror features interviews with some of the genre’s top creators, and each episode will cover a different sub-genre of horror, ranging from supernatural entities to slasher maniacs.”
Supernatural entities to slasher maniacs. Looks like Eli’s been drinking in the same bar as me.
STORYBOOK OF HORROR (available now/Amazon Prime™)
“Turn down the lights, and get ready for six horror tales that are sure to give you nightmares in this storybook horror anthology.”
For a really good collection of horror shorts (I think I just described my neighbor’s underwear), check out Tales of Halloween (2015), and take a drink every time blood is spilled; You’ll be drunk by the third story.
PROSPECT (November 2, 2018)
“A teenage girl and her father travel to a remote alien moon, aiming to strike it rich. But there are others roving the wilderness and a job quickly devolves into a fight to survive. Forced to contend not only with the forest’s other ruthless inhabitants, but with her own father’s greed-addled judgment, the girl finds she must carve her own path to escape.”
A remote alien moon seems like a long way to go to strike it rich. They should stay on Earth and play the Power Ball Lottery™. Odds are you probably won’t win, but at least you won’t have to deal with ruthless inhabitants. Ironically, you’ll be swarmed with ruthless inhabitants if you do win.
THE POSSESSION OF HANNAH GRACE (2018)
“A shocking exorcism spirals out of control, claiming the life of a young woman. Months later, Megan Reed is working the graveyard shift in the morgue when she takes delivery of a disfigured cadaver. Locked alone inside the basement corridors, Megan begins to experience horrifying visions and starts to suspect that the body may be possessed by a ruthless demonic force.”
Graveyard shift at the morgue. Sounds like a bad pun. Works in reverse, too. I do, however, like the premise of a disfigured corpse powered by evil. Has a certain zing to it.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 