Archive for pollution

Evil In Real-Time

Posted in Evil, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Live Evil

We humans aren’t the only ones affected by pollution. After years of taking drugs, smoking drugs, eating drugs and overloading on McDonald’s Happy Meals™, our blood is so contaminated, even vampires won’t drink it. And when they do, they vomit all over the place. How rude.

Over the years this poor diet has led to vampire mutations, with some being able to walk around in day light as if a werewolf, others having their fanged mouths in the palm of their hands. (You DO NOT wanna give these vampires a high-five.)

Live Evil

So off four of vampires go, traveling from the blood-bereft Nevada desert to the gushing Hollywood Hills, looking for something to drink. Yep, you’ll find countless decorative ponds of untainted blood in L.A.

Hot on their trail is a whiskey-swilling old priest who carries a Samurai sword and guns. If you can’t figure out why the priest has been so hardcore about chasing down a particular vampire couple, you should stick your head in a garbage can.

Live Evil

Yeah, the movie title (Live Evil/2008) is dumb and the action is both hokey and Z-grade. But there’s lots of gooshing gore and naked nudity. Sounds like a typical day in Hollywood.

Zombie Croc: Reanimated Reptile

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Zombie Croc

In horror movies, crocodiles, or “alligators,” have been super-sized, mechanized and man-made to terrorize for our viewing pleasure. But when was the last time you saw a walking dead gator? Now you can with the release of Zombie Croc, billing itself as 35 feet of undead reptilian terror. Only thing missing is some drunk rednecks with shotguns and…oh, wait…

Zombie Croc

The best way to bring a crocodile back from the dead is with voodoo. I know what you’re thinking; what about a space virus or secret government/military powdered gas or sweet refreshing pollution? Those things cost money. Voodoo is practically free – just yammer out a bunch of nonsensical curse words, shake some bones (not your own, you pervs), and get this party started.

Zombie Croc

Speaking of parties, the voodoo-risen zombie croc crashes a birthday party and chomps down all the screaming desserts. Earlier he ate a clown hired to perform at said box social. He said the clown tasted funny. (Heh.)

Zombie Croc

Zombie Croc (also listed as A Zombie Croc as well – not sure why) was screened in July of 2015 at a party I wasn’t invited to. (That’s ok; I sent zombie croc in my place.) When will ZC be commercially released to fulfill your low-budget horror comedy needs? Dunno. Their movie’s Facebook™ page is as weak as the storyline.