Archive for pigs

Classic Ghosts, Pig Men, The Revenge of Clams

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

It: Chapter 2

While it doesn’t come out until September of 2019 (that sounds so Back To The Future), It: Chapter 2 already has some key art, though I’d imagine there’s going to be a stack of ‘em as we get closer to the mega-successful first film’s sequel.

It: Chapter 2

I’ll concede these look fan-made, but man, I’m drooling uncontrollably for this one to come out as the first one was downright wicked badass cool.

Back To The Future

While you work on your Back To The Future time-traveling car to see the movie before anyone else, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make you uncontrollably drool…

The Haunting of Hill House

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE (October 12, 2018/Netflix™)
“A modern re-imagining of Shirley Jackson‘s iconic 1959 novel, The Haunting of Hill House, explores a group of siblings who, as children, grew up in what would go on to become the most famous haunted house in the country. Now adults, and forced back together in the face of tragedy, the family must finally confront the ghosts of their past — some of which still lurk in their minds while others may actually be stalking the shadows of Hill House.”

If you’re writing this on your face with an indelible ink pen, the book was adapted to film form a couple ‘o times, once in 1963 and 36 years later in 1999, both titled The Haunting. (The 1963 version was cooler.) Wonder why ghosts always haunt places called Hill House? Guess that seems more spooky than The Haunting of Hill Condominiums or Haunted Hill Townhouses & Golf Course.

Wild Boar

WILD BOAR (2018)
“A small group of treasure seekers, also known as ‘Geocachers’, trek into to the desert to conquer a Geocache ‘Challenge’. Out in the wild they stumble upon a forbidden world flooded with radiation and inhabited by a race of bloodthirsty mutants who have evolved from pigs. They soon find themselves in a world where they are the prey and swine are the predators.”

Pg Man

Evolved from pigs. I’ve heard that uttered in my direction at an all-you-can-eat $4.99 buffet more than a few times. For a more palatable version of a Pig Man, look no further than The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977 version). He kinda looks like someone’s pension drunk uncle.

School's Out

SCHOOL’S OUT (aka, L’Heuer de la Sortie/2018)
Pierre Hoffman is a substitute form tutor, brought in after his predecessor commits suicide by throwing himself out of the classroom window in front of his teenage students. Hoffman finds that six of his new students seem strangely indifferent to what they witnessed and as time goes on he observes that this small, tight-knit group exerts a strange sinister influence over the rest of the school. He becomes obsessed with the group, who are unusually smart and precocious, discovering it is united by a dark vision of a doomed future and contempt for adults. This obsession turns into terror when he discovers their ultimate, extreme and dangerous goal.”

So a teacher jumps out a classroom window? I bet someone said, you fly, I’ll buy.” Wonder how many times Superman’s fallen (heh) for that one? P.S. Resist the urge to confuse this with the same named craptacular 1999 movie.

The Swarm

THE SWARM (in production/2019)
Whales begin sinking ships. Toxic, eyeless crabs poison Long Island’s water supply. The North Sea shelf collapses, killing thousands in Europe. Around the world, countries are beginning to feel the effects of the ocean’s revenge as the seas and their inhabitants begin a violent revolution against mankind. At stake is the survival of the Earth’s fragile ecology — and ultimately, the survival of the human race itself.”

This one is to be a sci-fi TV series and sounds binge-watchingly delightful, what with fish ‘n friends sucker-punching humananity. I bet Flipper is behind this aquatic uprising. Like I’ve always said, never trust a talking dolphin.

Red Billabong: Fair Dinkham Horror

Posted in Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Red Billabong

Red Billabong is an upcoming Australian creature feature horror movie. But the title doesn’t reflect the monster’s name, but rather a pond formed when its water source gets all attitude-y and changes its life direction, cutting itself off from the rest flow. In the States we call that a “tide pool.” Billabong™ is also a popular sports wear fashion company.

Red Billabong

So what does a stagnant pond and overpriced yet surprisingly stain-resistant cargo shorts have to do with a mythical creature? Hopefully, nothing. Unless the monster lives in the pond and wears a swimsuit that comes in a colorful array of expensive styles.

Here’s what lies Down Under: “Two estranged brothers and their friends are pulled into a world of mystery and lies when their grandfather’s property is passed into their hands. As both brothers are pulled apart by different choices, one thing is clear – something sinister is going on. As people go missing the brothers learn secrets that will change their life forever – but what is out there? A myth? A hoax? Or could it really be…real?”

Red Billabong

I’m hoping it’s real, because I’m all about being legit.

Since we’re on the topic, there have been notable Australian creature horror movies prior featuring zombie farm animals (Black Sheep/2006), super-sized crocodiles (Rogue/2007), giant human-eating pigs (Razorback/1984), all of nature’s creatures plus a dugong, which is a fat ass sea cow (The Long Weekend/1978 & 2008), and Waterborne (2015), starring a “zombieroo,” the world’s first zombie kangaroo. (They should call it The Hopping Dead. I’m probably the only one who thinks that’s funny.)

Waterborne

Note to selves: As of this word-barfing Waterborne is a film short designed to attract crowd-funding for a future full-length feature.

Red Billabong is supposed to come out sometime in 2015. Regardless of what the creature turns out to be, I can hardly for the sequel: Plaid Billabong.

Sex Monster and Barnyard Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

It Follows

A couple of upcoming new ones that look old. But they’re not. They’re new. For reals.

First up is It Follows, due out March 13, 2015, probably before lunch, but definitely after breakfast. It involves a young girl who is plagued by nightmarish visions after an “innocent sexual encounter” in the back seat of a car.

OK, no sexual encounters are innocent. That’s what organized religion tries to drill into our horn dog brains. Secondly, who hasn’t had nightmarish visions after hooking up? Think Lair of the White Worm (1988) and go from there.

ANYWAY…after said hook up, 19-year-old Jay (chick with a dude’s name) can’t shake the sensation that someone – or something – is following her. As the threat closes in, Jay and her friends must somehow escape the horrors that are only a few steps behind.

I bet it’s organized religion.

The Barn

An old school treatment for The Barn arrives October 1, 2015 in the form of some of those cool illustrated ’80s style horror movie posters. And the plot feels right out of that era as well. Behold…

“It’s Halloween 1989. Best friends Sam and Josh are trying to enjoy what’s left of their final Devil’s Night before graduating high school. But trouble arises when the two pals and a group of friends take a detour on their way to a rock concert, finding an old abandoned barn and awakening the evil inside.

Now it’s up to Sam and Josh to find a way to protect their friends and defeat the creatures that lurk within “The Barn.”

One can barely imagine the horrible creatures in a barn: pigs, horses, cows, rats, bugs, snakes, spiders, poisonous squirrels, stink beetles, electric eels…

Could this be the Old MacDonald version of Night of the Demons (1988)? I will ponder that over a nice breakfast of barn eggs, barn sausage and horse apples. OK, probably not that last one.