Archive for Pamela Franklin

Charlie’s Devils

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Satan's School For Girls

Did you know the Salem Academy for Women, a chick only boarding school, has a curriculum based on satanic principles and rituals with flimsy nightgowns? Surprised more gals aren’t applying for scholarships. This provides the framework for Satan’s School For Girls (1973), a great titled but thrill-less attempt to mix females with anti-Bible teachings.

Satan's School For Girls

Nevertheless, when Elizabeth Sayers’ sister, one of the school’s students, hung herself after being pursued by an unseen nemesis, she decides to enroll at the house of evil education herself to find out what the Hell happened. What she discovers is the school is having problems hanging (sorry) onto their students. They’ve been suiciding themselves after episodic freakouts, thereby leaving many homework assignments unfinished.

Satan's School For Girls

So what’s causing these mood swings? Girls don’t usually get all crazy emotional (or so I’ve heard). The handsome Dr. Joseph Clampett, one of the teachers, strikes meaningful poses and concerned looks when Elizabeth and her hot schoolmate/fellow clue digger upper Roberta try to Nancy Drew this mystery.

Satan's School For Girls

And this madness isn’t just affecting the ladies. One of the male teachers goons out, rants about some evil this and that, and ends up murder dead. This causes Headmistress Williams (she can be a real b-word) to go brain bonkers. Who can blame her? Bodies are turning up all over the place.

Satan's School For Girls

As Elizabeth and Roberta get closer to the truth, a saw-it-a-mile-away betrayal reveals that the entire school is participants of a satanic cult and Dr. Clampett, claiming to be the devil incarnate, is teaching the parent-less girls in the ways of non-God. He even wears a black cape with a collar so high, it looks like one of those medical cones they put on dogs. Outdated, but can still be worn to almost any ritual.

Satan's School For Girls

A face off and roaring fire, which is like a pleasant, warm foot soak to satanists, ends with one of the most face-slapping endings in made-for-TV horror. A notable side note: Kate Jackson and Cheryl Ladd appear in this one and later went on to become superstars in Charlie’s Angels (1976 to 1981 on ABC). That was a mighty fine way to get through puberty.

Legendary Ghost-Busting

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Legend of Hell House

So word comes down the chute that a remake of The Legend of Hell House (1973), one of the scariest haunted house movies you’ll ever see, is in the works. No doubt looking to cash in on the generic ghost movie craze to clog the theatres. (I’m looking in your direction The Conjuring, Insidious 1 & 2, Sinister, The Quiet Ones, Occulus, Dark Skies, The Appearing, The Possession, blah, blah, blah.)

The Legend of Hell House

While I’d rather not see another re-boot butcher job done to a horror classic, let’s see if Hollywood can top this: a scientist with really cool ghost-busting gadgetry teams up with a couple of mediums (i.e., unemployed clairvoyants) to solve the mystery of Hell House. Referred to as the “Mt. Everest of haunted houses,” the ghost, or “ghosts” that actually spook the infamous Belasco House is in constant question.

The Legend of Hell House

Whoever invisible is scaring the complete crap out of everyone’s chute, manages to have sex with one of the occult chicks and gets another one – the wife of the scientist – to take off her clothes in a very unscientific manner in front of Roddy McDowall, the only clairvoyant survivor of the first investigation 20 years ago.

The Legend of Hell House

The brilliantly chilling Legend of Hell House still holds up over four decades after its release and still scares the complete crap out of whomsoever’s chute dares to watch it – mine included.