Archive for On Demand

Werewoman

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, TV Vixens, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 16, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

When Animals Dream

I suppose if I were to be an animal (more than I already am – heh), I’d probably go with being a werewolf. Think of the advantages: Never have to get a haircut. Stay out all night. Scare the “for sale” sign into your neighbors. Pee on anything. Sure, there’s probably drawbacks, but other than fleas, I can’t think of any right now.

The girl in the upcoming movie When Animals Dream is a werewolf. I think being a werewoman might be more of a challenge for chicks: Hairy legs. No dress would fit. Eat meat and never taste another salad. Can’t sit down to pee. Yep, they call it “Wolf-Man” for a reason. Sexist? Yeah, probably.

In When Animals Dream (due out August 8, 2015 theaters/ On Demand), a young girl is hunted down by those living in her town when it’s revealed she’s a werewolf.

When Animals Dream

“It’s a coming-of-age horror film set in a secluded fishing village of Denmark about a young girl falling in love and discovering she’s a werewolf by her mother at the same time as she gets hunted down by the villagers.” She might want to talk to Frankenstein’s monster for some survival tips.

When Animals Dream is also described as Let The Right One In meets Carrie. Cool – there’s some blood on the horizon. Which begs the sexist question: If blood, which is like catnip to a werewolf, what happens when a female werewolf gets her other monthly cycle? Talk about the ultimate psycho b*tch. Your strategy? Leave town.

P.S. Over the ages there have been many a female werewolf. Start with She-Wolf of London (1946) and go from there.

She-Wolf of London

Mouth Full of Hell

Posted in Classic Horror, Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 16, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hellmouth

Hellmouth, a highly stylized horror flick starring genre legend Stephen McHattie, came out in late 2014. I did not see it as I was busy combing my hair. Now, thanks to technology (magic with lab coats), you, me and anyone with access to the Internet can now download and – get this – watch it whenever you want! Man, the future kicks ass!

Hellmouth

I’ve seen the trailers; Visually, Hellmouth looks very Sin City-ish. Very cool. And the plot, while borrowing the one sentence description of What Dreams May Come (1998), has drool-worthy implications: “A grave-keeper is drawn into a Hell dimension to save the soul of a beautiful woman.” I wonder what  one wears when in Hell. Probably some sort of blackness.

Hellmouth is said to be a throwback to the genre films of the ’50s and is story-driven with fantasy and horror combined. I find this to also be very cool. However, I do hope the movie reveals directions to Hell. I have a vacation coming up and that seems like a nice place to hang out.

An Avalanche of Snow Sharks

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Avalanche Sharks

Killer sharks that swim through snow as though the snow was water? (OK, I get the irony that snow is already water, just more solid-y.) Two things come to mind: Avalanche Sharks is a blatant attempt to cash-in on the highly successful Sharknado franchise. Second, this premise was already done with 2011’s Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast.

Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast

Look for Avalanche Sharks (releasing June 30, 2015) on Amazon, Google Play, iTunes, Vimeo, and VUDU as well as On Demand with AT&T and DirecTV. And to entice you to watch it, here’s the low down on the snow down…

“Bikini Snow Day is the busiest day of the year at Mammoth Mountain and the resort is packed with wild co-eds looking for a good time. When an unexpected avalanche rumbles down the mountain, it awakens ancient spirits in the form of massive sharks with a taste for human flesh. As the body count begins to pile up, the local sheriff must form an unlikely alliance with a motley crew of locals and tourists in order to kill off the terrifying creatures before it’s too late.”

Avalanche Sharks

Brain dead/dumbass plot notwithstanding, some clarification is required. First, Avalanche Sharks was originally titled Snow Sharks and might’ve been released on DVD in 2013. (I saw it on the Internet with a bar code and everything, I swear. That, and Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast beat ‘em to the punch by two years).

Ice Jaws

Secondly, Ice Jaws, the Japanese admat take on Avalanche Sharks is way more awesome. The art for all other snow shark movies gives me sno-cone headache.