Archive for oil

Texas Tea Terror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Damned Thing

As a kid living in a small Texas town, Kevin Reddle one day saw his dad suddenly snap, take a shotgun and aerate mom’s gut, and chase him out into the lightning-filled night with the intention of getting in some more target practice. But the “damn thing” got to him first, sucking him down into the ground in an oily quicksand.

The Damned Thing

Twenty years later, Kevin is the town sheriff, and he still lives in the “house that dad shot up.” This caused his hot wife and young son to move out as Kev can’t seem to get that horrible night out of his mind, even going so far as to outfit his place with a video camera surveillance system. He’s still on good terms with the wife, but she won’t move back in until all the cameras go. He’ll need ’em — there’s something causing the town’s people to freak out and kill themselves — and not in a good way. One guy turns a hammer onto his own face, thinking his nose was a nail. The local priest is gettin’ all sermon-y and self-righteous-y and seems to sense Hell is coming. (Don’t they all?)

The Damned ThingSheriff Reddle finds his father’s locked box and, after many drinks of refreshing whiskey, decides to open it. He finds newspaper clippings telling about how oil was found in Sturgis, a neighboring town back in the day. Shortly after liberating that slick Texas Tea, people starting going crazy and killing each other. Turns out his grandfather was one of those oil guys. The same thing happened to his dad’s dad, with the mind suddenly getting mad to the point of mindless mass murder. And that damn thing has come back.

The Damned ThingThe town goes bonkers. Meanwhile, Reddle’s wife and kid are under attack by some unseen force that’s shaking their trailer home around like Jiffy-Pop™. The sky is cracking in half with non-stop lightning. Taking them back to the house, the damn thing finds Reddle…and now he really wants to shoot his wife and kid, probably in the face or some other part of the head.

The Damned Thing

With gunshots and thunder and something shrieking and shaking up his house, he tries to get to his family for murdering purposes. Reddle goes outside and confronts the evil that has trespassed. The ground turns into a swimming pool of oil and a huge gooey creature rises out of it to swallow him whole. The Damned Thing (2006) was good up until this point, but they wrecked it by throwing in a ridiculous “monster” to explain it all. I’d have liked it better if everyone just got drunk and went around hammering their faces. Would’ve made way more sense. To me, anyway.

Ice Bugs – Heat ’n Eat

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Deep Freeze

Deep Freeze (2003), also known as Chillers. Also known as Ice Crawlers. Also known as Crapsicle. No matter how many times they change the title, it’s still double lame sci-fi with no original thought given to script, dialogue, acting or special monster effects designed to make you forget all of the above.

Deep Freeze

A group of grad students are flown to the Antarctica (dumb name – there are no ants there) to figure out why the oil-drilling sub-station is experiencing earthquakes.

Deep Freeze

One bright chick student with “Welcome to McDonald’s drive-thru—may I take your order?” written all over her post-college face insists the entire continental plate is being compromised due to one five-foot drill bit. What we know that everyone else doesn’t is that a creature (or creatures) is making the whole place do the big pee shiver.

Deep Freeze

Mix in a frozen plot to blow up the place because they didn’t find any oil. The plan is to blame it on the inexperienced college students so that the corporation funding this train wreck can collect the insurance and bring back an over-sized Trilobite (prehistoric bed bug) to market as the “archaeological find of the Century.” Meanwhile, not one but two Trilobites skitter undetected around the outpost, eating people.

Deep Freeze

By the time this is figured out, most everyone has been chowed upon. Just when you think it can’t get any worse…it does. Up from the depths comes Momma Trilobite, roughly the size of three or four igloos stacked crookedly on top of each other.

Deep Freeze

Mom doesn’t do anything except screech and wiggle her limbs. This buys the token foreign guy just enough time to set the explosive charge and turn everyone into Trilo-bites (heh).

Oh, sure – the bomb shut down the station, but it couldn’t shut off my TV.