Archive for New Year’s Eve

Mystery Godzilla, Occult Virgins, Pet Dinosaurs

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Funko Godzilla

Funko, fast becoming my favorite pop icon toy company, just released a Godzilla “mystery” box. Also called “mystery minis”, you get to see two Godzilla toy figures — regular and flaming (as in “on fire”), and one that’s not visible. Kinda neat. It’s like opening a peanut shell and wondering if you’ll get one of those allergy-triggering legumes (a peanut is part of the bean family), or some sort of invasive larvae that’ll grow to the size of your arm and eat the peanut butter sandwich that’s hanging from the end of it.

Godzilla Earth

We already know there’s a bunch of different Godzillas: MechaGodzilla, Space Godzilla, JesusZilla (actually, he’s just the son), and those river-dancing all over what’s left of humanity in Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017): Godzilla Filius and the 300 meter-embiggened, Godzilla Earth. I don’t think Godzilla Earth could fit in even God’s toy box, so I’m thinkin’’ the mystery ‘monster‘ is Ghost Godzilla. Don’t know if he even exists, just though it sounded cool.

Funko Godzilla

While you click away from this blog to go check out Funko.com (yes, you WILL be blown away), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies may or may not seem as cool as…Ghost Godzilla

The Night of the Virgin

THE NIGHT OF THE VIRGIN (June 12, 2018)
Javier Badola is a lonely young man who attends a New Years Eve party with the intention of losing his virginity. After midnight he finds himself alone and rejected until a middle-aged woman invites him back to her apartment. What promises to be an epic sexual debut turns into his worst nightmare when he discovers that the woman has a perverse occult agenda.”

Seriously? What guy doesn’t go out with the intent of losing his virginity — or at least re-imagineering it? And just so we’re clear, it just. ..doesn’t…matter if the woman has a perverse occult agenda. It’s super fun happy times for your swimsuit area, man! And if there are any “virgins” out there reading this, I’ll give you some advice via an old joke: “Sex is a lot like air — it’s no big deal until you’re not getting any.”

Canaries

CANARIES (2018)
“In the style of Shaun Of The Dead, The Lost Boys and Attack the Block, Canaries is a funny, dark and action packed sci-fi horror comedy that pits a group of drunken friends on New Years Eve in a Welsh valley against an invasion task force of creepy time-traveling aliens. A kick-ass M.O.D agent, an insecure radio DJ and a kung fu master who owns the local B&B learn their new years resolution this year is simple: STAY ALIVE.”

Why do I have a sudden desire to move to a Welsh valley? I hear the residents are out of this world. P.S. I wanna be a kung fu master, but don’t wanna own a B&B. The things people do all over sheets — there’s the real horror story.

Zombiepura

ZOMBIEPURA (2018)
“When a mysterious virus breaks out in an isolated army camp, a lazy reservist soldier and his tough commander must work together to survive, and learn what it means to be real soldiers.”

Wow, it’s like they don’t even try and come up with a new spin on zombies. Sounds like Gomer Pyle versus the Undead.

The Adventures of Jurassic Pet: Chapter 1

ADVENTURES OF A JURASSIC PET: CHAPTER 1 (2018)
“An adventurous teenager summons the courage to help a friendly dinosaur to escape from the clutches of a mad scientist that wants to use him for experimentations.”

I imagine the worst part about a pet dinosaur is cleaning the litter box.

Stoned Cold

Posted in Bigfoot, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Scream Queens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 27, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Dead of Winter

In Dead of Winter (aka, Lost Signal/2006), college sweethearts Kevin and Tiffany (they’re in luv) go to a New Year’s Eve house party, snort some crystal meth and do a shot of what they thought was cold and refreshing alcohol. The flavorful drink was laced with LSD. If you’ve ever wanted to know what happens when you mix LSD with crystal meth, the results are pretty much what you’d expect – your head turns inside out and encores with you sh*tting your pants in front of friends and relatives.

Dead of Winter

Driving home in the snow, Kevin hallucinates a mysterious old man in the back seat of his car. They stop, leap out of the vehicle and bolt for the woods. (Note: It’s called Tanglewoods for a reason.) Freezing and tripping or “re-imagining reality,” both become extremely paranoid, all of which is complicated by the onset of cold and refreshing hypothermia.

Dead of Winter

They manage a call 9-1-1, but they’re so lost in the woods, only tracker bears and maybe vampire owls could find them. Attempting to get inside the cab of a snow plow, the darn thing comes to life and chases Kevin down, who loses a shoe in the process. (Note to self: socks are worthless in snow.)

Dead of Winter

Kevin and Tiffany find a small shed and plan to ride out the night in there. Instantly, the shack shakes like it was being drum soloed by Bigfoot. Demonic voices whisper evil things. Kevin starts freaking out on Tiffany and decides she needs to be killed into portion appropriate cubes, and chases her to an unoccupied house.

Lost Signal

The silly gal manages to lock him out and he figures out a way in, applying the Santa Claus methodology. Most of the movie is just Kev and Tif running around in the freezing cold and freaking out. The “shock” ending is actually quite stock and should be largely ignored.

So the message here is don’t do drugs in the snow. Save ’em for a nice and warm sunny beach where there aren’t any ghost snow plows around for miles.

P.S. Don’t do drugs.

A Real Party Killer

Posted in Classic Horror, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Eve

Been hearing about this nifty indie horror move, The Eve (2015), for some time now. In dog years probably three. But since I can’t remember what I had for breakfast three years ago, The Eve fell off my radar.

But like a cold sore, it popped back up and is ready for a movie/TV/iPad™/iPhone 6 Plus™ with 5.5-inch display (from $299) screen near your general direction.

Why you might care: “A group of friends heads off to the remote island of Martha’s Vineyard to celebrate New Year’s Eve and reconnect. As tensions rise, an unforeseen presence halts celebrations and instead turns their holiday into a fight to live through to the new year.”

At first glance it looks like a slasher dude has further isolated the group of four and has disabled their amenities. (I absolutely FREAK if I don’t have amenities.) Then they are systematically attacked by…

The Eve

Not sure. Could be a garden variety slasher. Might be a ghost of one of their friends whom they “accidentally” killed while at another weekend getaway. Or, if my theory holds, a satanic evil demon spirit. Then again, probably not. Satanic evil demon spirits usually charge a lot of money for these types of gigs.

Oh, I know – it’s their suppressed guilt manifesting itself into people slaughtering fun times. Swish – nothin’ but net!