Archive for Natural Born Killers

30 Years of Elvira, Synthetic Sex, Black Magic Punk Rock

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers, TV Vixens, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Elvira (aka, Cassandra Peterson), the timeless and beautiful/bountiful horror movie hostess, is hosting a 30th Anniversary screening of her 1988 classic horror comedy movie, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, on Thursday, October 4th in Salem, Massachusetts. Tickets are a wallet-stretching $50 general admission and are on sale now. Elvira will be 67 by the time of the screening, and to look at her now (quick, what color are her eyes?), you’d think she is still mint-in-box.

Elvira

Also times to the screening is Arrow Video’s Blu-ray releasing of the movie, which as horror movie fans know, will be the first time in its available in that format. Wish it was in 3D. Ahem.

Elvira

In Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, the cult-movie TV hostess inherits an old New England house, a poodle and a black magic cookbook. But no one ever said, “Hey, let’s go see a movie with a poodle and a black magic cookbook!” One look at Elvira and you’ll see what she so effectively uses to pay the rent. This is one time you want the event to go bust. Heh.

Here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies to watch while I go outside and get slapped in the head for my insensitive remarks…

How It Ends

HOW IT ENDS (July 13, 2018)
“As a mysterious apocalypse causes the spread of misinformation and violence, a man and his estranged father-in-law race across a chaotic and fractured country to save his pregnant wife.”

Standard post-apocalyptic scenario — go from one side of the country to the other, while navigating (pick one or more) zombies, gangs, criminals, stinky punk rock maniacs, Mad Max. I have enough trouble getting from one side of the grocery store to the other. (Why can’t they put the salted snack treats next to the beer cooler? Utter madness.)

Zoe

ZOE (July 20, 2018/Amazon Prime Video)
“Two colleagues at a revolutionary research lab design technology to improve and perfect romantic relationships. As their work progresses, their discoveries become more profound than they could ever have imagined.”

What the press release doesn’t tell you, the trailer shows: a scientist designs a synthetic chick and falls in love with it and wants to insert his hard drive into her software. Wasn’t this the subtext of Ex-Machina (2014)? On that note, inflatable love dolls are far less expensive, easier to maintain and, more importantly, clean.

Boogeyman Pop

BOOGEYMAN POP (2018)
“A bat-wielding, masked killer in a rusted-out black Cadillac weaves in and out of three interlocking stories awash in sex, drugs, punk rock, black magic, and broken homes.”

You really can’t go wrong when you mix punk rock with black magic. The rusted-out Caddie is but mere artistic expression. I hope it comes with a full tank of sex and drugs. P.S. Don’t do drugs. I’d say don’t do sex, either, as it too is a gateway drug and… Crap, I did it again — now I’m way over my head. Bailing now while I can.

Monster

MONSTER (2018)
Emily is tired of her life. In a dead-end job that she hates and an employer who takes advantage of her, she dreams of a life away from the daily grind. Her life will take an unexpected turn, however when she is snatched from work and bundled into a van. She awakes later in the isolated Remington home, a place of death and violence where depravity and horror are the norm. Led by the fearsome Richard, the undisputed head of the household, Emily discovers that the Remington’s are organizing a very special birthday party and she is the guest of honor. When the birthday boy — the Remington’s seven-foot-tall hulk of a son appears, Emily realizes she is more than just a guest and their intentions for her are much more sinister.”

Word at the bus stop is that the generically-titled Monster is a cross between The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and Natural Born Killers (1994). So, like, is this Bonnie and Clyde with power tools?

Camera Killers, Teen Angst Ghosts, Satan’s Better Halves

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Playing With Dolls: Bloodlust

The horror movie flood tides continue to rise, with EVEN MORE releases lining up to un-line your coin purse…

PLAYING WITH DOLLS: BLOODLUST (November 1, 2016 / VOD)
“A group of aspiring actors are chosen for a reality horror TV show. In the show, they must survive being chased by a killer. The program is filmed with scores of tiny cameras in a cabin and the surrounding forest. What the contestants don’t know is that this murderer is a real killer and the television program is a ruse.”

The sequel to Playing With Dolls (2015), wherein a serial killer is decommissioned by an institute for the criminally insane, presumably to go back to his day job. The new one, though, has a much more clever twist. Tiny cameras? That’s flippin’ amazing.

Shut In

SHUT IN (November 11, 2016)
“Mary is a widowed child psychologist who believes she’s being haunted by the disturbed foster child Tom, who ran away while under her care. The haunting episodes take place in Mary’s deserted New England home where she tends to her stepson who is in a permanent catatonic state following a car accident.”

So is Disturbed Tom a vengeful ghost or just a “kid at risk” candidate? And since when is a house deserted when there are people living in it? Color me confused.

The Similars

THE SIMILARS (November 15, 2016 / VOD)
“On the rainy night of October 2, 1968, eight people waiting in a remote bus station for a bus heading to Mexico City start experiencing a strange phenomenon. Threatened by paranoia and fear, the strangers show the best and worst of themselves as they try to unravel the mysterious condition that is invading each of them like a virus.”

I liked this better when it was called The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street (The Twilight Zone, episode #22 / aired March 4, 1960). Exact similar plot. Word to your mother.

Brides of Satan

BRIDES OF SATAN (pending crowd-funding)
Brides of Satan is a cinematic love story to the early exploitation films of the 1960s, The grindhouse revenge thrillers of the 70’s, and the apocalyptic punk rock 1980s. It’s a kitchen sink, genre f*ck – of action, B-movie and horror, featuring a gang of unlikely anti-heroes & heroines. Recommended for fans of Kill Bill (2004), Faster Pussycat Kill Kill (1965), Natural Born Killers (1994), and Death Wish (1974). Project is currently 1/4 into principle photography – we Need YOU to help COMPLETE this modern revenge thriller!”

As of today (October 31, 2016) Brides of Satan has only raised $1,368 from 14 backers on Indiegogo™. With 17 days left on the green mile clock, it might be an economic pipe dream for them to hit their target of $66,666.66. That number seems familiar for some reason and… Oh, I remember – that’s my phone number. P.S. Lend them your bit coins HERE.