Archive for mutate

Eight-Legged Shark

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sharkantula

A man/woman/misc. eating shark with eight legs? Why not? Why do all those smug spiders and octopi get to flaunt their figures? (And don’t get me started on centipedes, human or not.)

So where can we find this eight-legged shark and watch it over and over? You can’t. It’s a book, not a movie. While I normally don’t include books in this here bloggedty-blog, Sharkantula (by Essel Pratt) is in all likelihood going to end up being a $1,000 budgeted movie on the SyFy Channel™, because after four films with the same premise, everybody’s bored out of their cartilage with Sharknado.

Here’s how Sharkantula — a cross between a shark and a tarantula — swims up yer alimentary canal…

“When a genetically modified tarantula finds itself loose in the Great White shark exhibit at Shark World, the feisty arachnid sinks its fangs into the main attraction. Without warning, the Great White mutates into Sharkantula and the opening day show turns deadly.  The mutated shark/tarantula hybrid is hungry and ready to feast upon the flesh of those that don’t run away fast enough to escape its webbing.”

“Desperate to stop the carnage, a group of Shark World employees join forces with the tarantula’s keeper in an effort to stop the devastation before Sharkantula can escape the confines of the aquatic theme park and spread its terror.”

Okay, so not a whole lot of thought went into this. And yet, I need Sharkantula to be a movie. Today, if possible. Until that moment arrives (I have my eyes on the clock), you can get the book — for free in Kindle™ form if you’re as impatient as me — by clicking HERE and purchasing (for $3.99) on Amazon.com.

P.S. The character concept of Sharkantula was first imagineered by Kdogprime back in February of 2015 as a role playing card monster. Time to get an attorney, Kdog.

Ravenous Sharkantula

Manufacturing Death

Posted in Evil, Scream Queens, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Death Factory

Most factories make nice things like boxes, flowers and/or puppies. This factory, however, makes a carbonated chemical that mutates the living. No, it’s not Bud Light™. Regardless, I would still like to work there.

Death Factory

An uptight female chemical maker worker gets her DNA in a knot and quits because this isn’t a cuddly animal-making chemical. Too bad she got infected with it before she quit. Her brain gone for a spin around the block on two wheels and transformed into a female Edward Scissorhands with pointy teeth and Goth hair, she makes her way back to the factory and kills everyone.

Death Factory

The place shuts down for some unknown reason. A few years later a bunch of college kids decide to party there because hey, chemicals! According to clichéd horror plot device #101, Deathy stalks the stupid college kids, who by virtue of being stupid college kids, have to die horrible and gory deaths. It’s in the school handbook. Higher education = lower IQs.

Death Factory

Nicely executed (sorry) gore, but Death Factory’s (2002) story line is so hack I could’ve directed it myself. Nice to see bare boobs filling up some plot holes, though. And Deathy is a well-designed creaturette. Too bad she didn’t kill the script writer.