Archive for military base

Peculiar Kids, Space Infection and Directions to Hell

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

Another batch of visual goodies gearing up to ransack your wallet/purse/fanny pack. (Note to my accountant – can I deduct the cost of popcorn, Peanut M&Ms™, red vines, Diet Coke™, hot dogs, and smuggled bottles of airline liquor from my taxes if I say that going to the movies is work related?

Anyway, the book-based Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, the upcoming (2016) Tim Burton horror-ish fantasy movie, goes like this: “When Jacob discovers clues to a mystery that spans different worlds and times, he finds Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. But the mystery and danger deepen as he gets to know the residents and learns about their special powers.”

I liked it better when it was called X-Men (2000).

Virus: Extreme Contamination

Up next is the dork titled Virus: Extreme Contamination (release pending 2016): “An Italian scientist travels to Kosovo to study the impact of a meteorite that is the cause of strange events. Once there, he discovers that the object has been moved to a near military base where all the people were turned into dangerous weird creatures.”

When doesn’t a meteorite cause weird stuff /real estate damage? As if it needs to be said, when aren’t people on the bus dangerous weird creatures? The fact that we all are is what’s keeping aliens from colonizing Earth. And yes, they always have to wipe their space shoes after visiting this flat/round planet of ours.

Death House

Death House (release pending 2016) shows promise, if only for the stellar genre cast that stars the guys who played Freddy Krueger, Machete, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead, and that gal who starred in that legendary rape revenge movie I Spit On Your Grave (1978). Here’s what happens in the house of death…

“Two federal agents fight their way through nine levels of Hell inside a secret prison known as the Death House. A facility-wide prison break turns their flight into a tour of horrors as they push toward the ultimate evil housed in the lowest depths of the earth.”

Sounds like someone’s been hanging out at the Poggie Tavern during “What Passes As Ladies” Night again.

German Zombies and Werewolves

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Slashers, Werewolves, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Bunker of the Dead 3D

An odd horror sub-genre that once again resurrects Nazis as zombies, this latest entry being Bunker of the Dead 3D (2015), shot first-person shooter (or “POV”) style. Both are boring because it’s been done some many gott verdammt times, notably dating back to 1977’s Shock Waves, in which underwater Nazi zombies come up from the sea bed to eat your head. (Note to purists: there were probably other Nazi horror movies before that, but I haven’t had my breakfast/lunch/dinner/bed time snacks yet and as yet can’t think clearly.)

Shock Waves

In Bunker of the Dead 3D you will be subject to annoying hand-held camera POV video game style filming, with lots of swearing, gun fire and meaty zombies. Ambitious to be sure. But man, can’t someone come up with something more original that hasn’t been done one billion million times? Geez.

Dead Snow & Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead

Not that I got that off my war chest, here’s what’s inside of Bunker of the Dead 3D: “Two friends spend their weekends trying to find a WWII underground military base. Used by the Nazis as a secret research institute, it is rumored to hide the lost gold of the Third Reich. The entrance of the cave system, however, lies right within the restricted area of a US military base. The first of many problems the two friends will have to face.” Ugh, that press release copy is as weak as the whole movie idea.

Frankenstein's Army

For my Deutsch marks Dead Snow (2009) and Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014) are two of the best/funniest/fun Nazi zombie movies going. For an even weirder and f’d up Nazi horror movie, you might want to check out Frankenstein’s Army (2013). Despite its limited budget, the story is far from haufen mist and it features some of the sickest monster hybrids this side of Hellraiser’s (1987) Cenobites.

Werewolf Hunt

Or if surreal monsters make your tum tum hurt, you could try Werewolf Hunt (2012). I haven’t seen it, but the guy who drives the garbage truck on my block insists it’s a war movie that refers to a Nazi underground bunker called Werewolf. Too bad if it’s true; Nazi werewolves (like the ones featured in a bloody dream sequence in An American Werewolf in London (1981) seems like overlooked Nazi gold.

An American Werewolf in London

Spider: Made By Volkswagon

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Spiders

What started as an anemic sci-fi yawnfest, Spiders (2000) turned into a goopy killfest almost worthy of a video store rental fee.

Three college paranormal investigators working for the school newspaper witness the crash of the space shuttle. Mutated spiders made it fall from the ozone after eating the brains of the occupants (Astro – nots. Ha!).

Spiders

The infected bodies are taken to a secret military base, and the news-minded team infiltrate because the truth is in there somewhere. A lot of yackety-yacking until one of the reporters gets bitten by a spider that bursts out of an expired skull and the splatter starts to matter.

Spiders

The killer bug grows to the size of a Volkswagen Beetle™, and oh what a tangled web he weaves. Super spidey breaks out of the army base and goes on a casual rampage through the college campus where it further expands to the size of a mutated Volkswagen Beetle™. The monster bug crushes cars, smashes buildings and eats undergraduates.

Spiders

One surviving military guy and the hot chick reporter get in a helicopter conveniently parked near the college and, using bazookas, blast the bug into spider spaghetti. The star chick is really hot, but she blows many an opportunity to distract the spider by taking her top off. When will humans ever learn?

All in all, satisfactory fun if you can fast forward through the first half.

Spiders

Silver Werewolf

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Silverhide

Silverhide (2015). Cool name for a werewolf movie. Still waiting for someone to make one called Lycanchomp. That’d be sweet if they did. Kinda ironic, though; a werewolf can be taken down by silver. Still, sounds cooler than Aluminumhide.

Silverhide (formerly title Pounce, but thankfully someone came to their senses and changed it) releases on DVD in the UK on April 6, 2015. I’ll probably wait for it to come to the States as I’d rather spend my travel money on cold refreshing alcohol.

Silverhide

So here’s the to do about this Brit made flick: “A group of conspiracy theorists are secretly watching a Top Secret military base in the desolate Welsh mountains. They’re looking for experimental and highly classified test aircraft to report about in a magazine when they suddenly discover a top secret and highly lethal creature (secretly discovered in the 1920s), which the military and Government are testing who’s fur has the ability to turn invisible in moon light.”

Silverhide

“The film follows their plight as they are hunted both by the creature (which the Army has nick named “The Silverhide” and the military who will stop at nothing to keep their classified specimen a secret…”

Pounce

I still drunkenly maintain that Dog Soldiers (2002) set the bar quite high for werewolves/Army guys. Wonder why they never made a sequel? If they ever do, I hear the title Lycanchomp is still available. Heh.