Archive for mausoleum

Death Is Cyclical

Posted in Classic Horror, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Morgue

Margo is a young woman who works the overnight shift at a mausoleum the size of Costco™, mopping, wiping up fluids of the deceased, picking up dead flowers and throwing ’em away. Ironic, given that the mausoleum is where things go when they’re dead.

One night a man, his wife and young daughter show up with an empty gas can. Seems their car ran out of zoom juice and they’re lost. Right after that, two guys show up, one battered and bruised, the other unconscious due to involuntary blood loss. To throw more plot on the fire, a hooded figure is stalking them with a shovel. He’s explained as a former employee who committed suicide, though they never say how or why, which feels like an unfinished bag of potato chips.

The Morgue

This party group try and leave the funeral home, but can’t seem to find a way out. Mom wanders off only to be cornered by Hooded Ghost Shovel Man, who pours gasoline down her mouth. Too bad; I’d like to see what kind of mileage she gets. Events take a turn for the weirder when the dad and the relatively undamaged guy make it outside and down the road, only to wind back up at the mausoleum.

The Morgue

Margo is desperately trying to evade Hooded Ghost Shovel Man. Most of your valuable time is spent watching her running around and around in circles. This is freakin’ patience-testing. Eventually, Margo and the little girl escape, where they encounter police cars and an ambulance. She cries for help but nobody seems to hear her.

This should tell you how The Morgue (2008) ends, even without me spilling the ghost beans. And Hooded Ghost Shovel Man? No idea where he ended up. Probably back in the morgue with all the dead bodies, all of whom probably died from boredom watching this movie.

S&M Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Whip and the Body

Kurt Menliff, a sadistic 19th Century aristocrat, returns home to his dying father’s seaside castle that boasts no central heating. Nobody likes this douche because he’s mean, cruel and anti-social. (I, however, like him for those very same reasons.)

The Whip and the Body

Kurt soon encounters the very smolderingly hot Dahlia and tries to go for the power smooch, but that ain’t turning her crank. So then he horsewhips her (which does turn her crank) and then has sex with her while the camera points at a horse.

The Whip and the Body

Later that night Kurt is perforated with a fireplace poker. Now what will they the fire with? They entomb his poker’d body in the family mausoleum downstairs. All is well for a minute – until Dahlia wakes to discover Kurt has come back for her. Kurt: “I have come back for you.” She says she hates him, he whips her and now she’s in utter ecstasy. But how can Kurt return from the grave? Who cares as this guy is tapping into Dahlia’s inner freak.

The Whip and the Body

The Whip and the Body (1963) was praised for its rich colors (the blood looks double bloody) and the subject matter groundbreakingly shocking for its day. But 50 plus years later horsewhipping is so common as to be featured daily on the Nickelodeon Channel, so its impact has been diluted to the point of “Yeah, so what else you got?”