Archive for Man of Steel

Extended Superheroes, Enlarged Chests, Shortened Life Spans

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Sharks, TV Vixens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Superman: The Movie

If you were alive back in February of 1982, you got to see Superman: The Movie (1978) play out on ABC over two nights — with an extra 40 minutes (!), previously edited out, completely restored.

If you weren’t alive back in 1982, you’ll get a chance to see all that additional footage — which includes longer looks at Krypton before its destruction, more time in Smallville, even more of John Williams’ iconic soundtrack, and more of Christopher Reeves in action as the Man of Steel — when it gets released on Blu-Ray. When, you ask? Dunno. Sources indicate before the end of 2017, but it could very well be 2018, the year that follows this one,

So 188 minutes of Superman. That’s pretty dang neato. And you can bet your red kryptonite the Blu-Ray will include lots of extras, like commentaries and cape cleaning tips. Until it arrives, you can while away your time on these upcoming/just released horror and sci-fi movies…

Space Boobs In Space

SPACE BOOBS IN SPACE: MILKING THE GALAXY (available now)
Exmin the Valkyrie returns from a deadly mission to find her bounty contains a bizarre program of glittery aliens, a fashion forward swamp monster, a vampire girl gang, and cheesy special effects from the most ridiculous corners of the galaxy.”

There is not one part of Space Boobs In Space’s press release I didn’t like. And I’m dying to find out what a “fashion forward swamp monster” is. Sounds like one of those last call gals at West Seattle Bowl.

Liferaft

LIFERAFT (available now)
“After their boat mysteriously sinks, a group of friends, with no supplies and strange happenings, try to trust each other long enough to survive.”

This one might’ve come out in 2016, but I just found it now, so no party foul on my part. As for the plight of the screaming floatables, this certainly borrows from The Reef (2010). In that one a boat reverse floats and everybody in the water becomes a fresh sheet item on a circling great white shark’s dinner menu. Don’t know if there’s a shark in Liferaft, though. Be cool if there was as the plot seems watered down. Ahem. P.S. I thought Liferaft was two words.

This Book Is Cursed

THIS BOOK IS CURSED (available now)
“After the occurrence at the Old Haney Logging Camp Road the survivor of the incident, Haus is convinced by his girlfriend Lynn to face his fears and return to the place his friends were brutal murdered. Haus has blacked out the event, and Lynn hopes that his memories will return if he confronts his fears. This is a horrible mistake indeed.”

And this is exactly why I never hang out on Old Haney Logging Camp Road. I hear tell of brutal murders and countless wood slivers, to say nothing of finger-shortening saw mishaps and hatchet nicks to the ankles. Better to hang out on Old Bandaged Wound Trail. Not far from what I hear.

Let Her Out

LET HER OUT (October 20, 2017)
“Helen, a bike courier, suffers a traumatic accident. As she recovers, she begins to experience strange episodic-black outs, hallucinations, and night terrors that lead her to discover that she has a tumor, a benign growth that is the remnants of a ‘vanishing twin’ absorbed in utero. Over time, the tumor manifests itself as the dark and demented version of a stranger. As Helen’s emotional and psychological state begins to deteriorate further and further, she begins to act out in psychotic episodes — influenced by her evil twin — making her a danger to herself and her best friend, Molly. It’s only a matter of time before this evil side of Helen will take her over completely.”

Great movie poster. The plot is familiar (I’m looking in your direction The Unborn/2009), but hey, I support possessed bike couriers. They do important work, despite often being absorbed by an in utero evil vanishing twin.

Schlock Film Fest, Banker Ghosts, Superman’s Face

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Justice League

For those keeping up with the butt-clenchingly anticipated Justice League movie (November 17, 2017), there’s been a few recent issues. First, they’re doing $25 million in re-shoots. (I have a cape — they could’ve brought me in to save the day for half that.)

Secondly, they’re having to digitally remove Superman’s mustache. Here’s a quote by Chris Morgan on IGN.com: “The mustache that Henry Cavill grew for Mission: Impossible 6 has been in the news quite a bit recently due to it resulting in reported complications surrounding the Justice League reshoots.” Played by Henry Cavill, apparently it’s cheaper to Photoshop out his facial hair than to shave.

So am I the only one who remembers the full on beard and mustache Superman had in 2013’s Man of Steel? As long as he doesn’t sport a man ponytail, I’m not seeing a problem here.

On that fuzzy note, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that or may not Photoshop the hair off your face…

The Flesh

Cult Epics/American Genre Film Archive
(July 27 – October 26, 2017)

“For 25 years, boutique freaky film label Cult Epics has amassed a large following for distributing the most sought-after, obscure, provocative and previously unknown films to the home video market in North America. Now, Cult Epics have teamed with AGFA (American Genre Film Archives) to bless some of their signature titles — which are also some of the world’s most notorious international shocker — 35mm theatrical releases.”

This is good news to schlock movie fans, of which I am one of a heckuva lot. (In fact, just call me Legion, for I am many.) While I’ve seen all of these movies, why not see ‘em again on the big screen whilst eating stale popcorn and guzzling smuggled airline bottles of refreshing adult beverages? I knew you’d agree with me. Here’s the official initial theatrical schedule:

In A Glass Cage (35mm) Qfest (Houston, TX), July 27

Viva La Muerte (35mm) Cinefamily (Los Angeles, CA), August 25th

Viva La Muerte (35mm) Metrograph (NYC, NY), September (t.b.c.)

Angst (DCP) Austin Film Society (Austin, TX), October 14th

Death Bed That Eats (DCP) Alamo Yonkers (greater NYC area, NY), October 25th

Death Bed That Eats (DCP) Ark Lodge Cinema (Seattle, WA), October 26th

Fate

FATE (August 15, 2017/VOD)
“A brilliant quantum physicist is on the verge of discovering the secret of the space time continuum when the government shuts him down. His quest to see his research to the end becomes paramount when his fiancé is killed. His only hope to avert his lonely fate is to travel back in time and save her life.”

Pffft — I discovered the secret of the space time continuum the first time I got drunk. Haven’t learned how to travel back in time, though. Don’t think I want to be doing that. First, there’s the Butterfly Effect, which could spell doom for a few of you. Secondly, there’s some people I probably owe money to and while they’re hunting for me in yesterday’s world, I’m safely hidden from them in the future, Ha — collect on that, b*tches!

The Vault

THE VAULT (September 1, 2017/Limited/VOD)
“In order to save their brother Michael’s life, the Dillon sisters, Leah and Vee have organized a bank robbery, but when the upstairs vault doesn’t have enough money to cover Michael’s debt, on the advice of Assistant Bank Manager Ed Maas, they drill into the downstairs vault. But the bank’s basement hides a terrible secret and before long, the Dillons have to choose whether to face the police outside or the terrible supernatural forces in the vault below.”

Never thought of storing demons in a bank vault. I always thought a double bagged supernatural entity could be wrangled with one ‘o them the FoodSaver® FM2000 Vacuum Sealing Systems. Pop a demon in the bag, suck out the air, toss it in the freezer and bingo, no more hauntings! But I guess a bank vault would be suitable as well. It’s just a refurbed Foodsaver® is only $32 fun coupons. You can be a ghost buster on a budget!

The Sound

THE SOUND (2017/2018)
“Kelly is a writer and a skeptic of the supernatural. As a specialist in acoustic physics she uses low frequency tactile sound-waves to debunk reported paranormal activities for her online blog. When presented a new case of a supposedly haunted subway station Kelly sets off to uncover the truth behind the hoax that involves a 40-year-old unexplained suicide. Her investigation takes her deep into the abandoned station where her skepticism is tested. As Kelly ascends into the depths of the metro’s darkness she is confronted by an unforeseen evil. In the vastness, she must face her own haunted memories to find the truth and surface back into the light.”

Skeptics crack me up — they’re always quick to debunk you and your experiences until it happens to them. Talk about your fair weather fans. I bet they don’t go to baseball games either until their hometown team starts winning. So when Kelly starts ranting to you about unforeseen evil, give her a dollar to go away.