Archive for Lust For Frankenstein

Vampire Licker

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Scream Queens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Vampire Junction

In the extremely low-budget Vampire Junction (2001), a hand-held camera “horror” movie about female vampires, the plastic fangs are the only thing that cost any money because it certainly wasn’t spent on plot, lighting or dialogue.

Vampire Junction

Two lesbian vampires shave and lick each other. The camera zooms in on their not-so private parts and leaves it there and assumes that’s supposed to be an integral part of the story. OK, it kinda is, but that’s just because female not-so private parts are somehow…mesmerizing.

Vampire Junction

Lina Romay shows up as an overweight old lady with a Marine-regulation haircut who takes her clothes off. (There’s the “horror” part.) No pun intended, but Lina’s getting long in the plastic tooth. What happened to the superbod she displayed in all its untrimmed glory in Lust For Frankenstein (1998)? Maybe Krispy Kreme™ just opened down the street from her house.

Vampire Junction

One chick vampire has pimples on her butt. Her partner wears goofy make-up that looks like it was applied with a paintball gun. They both look like Winger groupies. And all of this was shot in a hotel room. Yeah, that creates real vampire atmosphere.

Vampire JunctionThere’s some sort of plot, but most of it revolves around the two vampire lesbos getting it on with Lina. I never thought I’d say this, but watching the utterly pointless Vampire Junction has really turned me off to naked girl-on-girl vampire horror. This week, anyway.

Lust For Frankenstein

Posted in Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Lust For Frankenstein

In the straight-faced schlocky Lust For Frankenstein (1998), that “never-say-die” Frankenstein fellow sure is a wacky guy. This time he’s a ghost with greasy hair and blood running down his scientific face. He also talks really slow and likes German heavy metal.

Lust For Frankenstein

Seems Franky cannot relax as his creation — a rather large woman with bare boobies and (cover your eyes) a Vienna bratwurst dangling between her legs — needs to be resurrected in order to clear the family name.

Lust For Frankenstein

But heck, since he’s a ghost, he’s hardly up for the task. So he gets his daughter, an unattractive older woman no one loves, to tend his fleshy creation. The older unattractive woman (who no one loves) goes to a strip club to pick up a victim for her new pet. She must think its the Royal Fork™ because apparently they allow you to, uh, lick the dancers’ plates clean. (Note to self: go to that strip club next pay day.)

Lust For Frankenstein

The monster — named “Goddess”— walks around totally nude, except for gold disco platform shoes. She also rubs herself against trees and stuff because both her sexes “need love.” Great dialogue (“I am a puppet…a beautiful, nasty puppet…”), tons of nude nakedness, soft-R sex scenes, and the bug-eyed ghost of Frankenstein.