Archive for leather

Yet Another Installment of Hell

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 15, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hellraiser: Judgment

It’s a sad state of affairs when a popular horror movie franchise is put through the salad spinner so many times, it no longer resembles anything consumable.

While this has been famously done to cash cows such as the Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street series (don’t get me started on the Police Academy abominations, of which there are seven), the release of Hellraiser: Judgment (pending 2016), brings the original once proud Hellraiser movie to a shaming eight sequels, six and a half of which are like watching a hobo sift through your garbage.

Hellraiser

Quite similar to a Cenobite torture, we’ve had to endure the punishing Hellraiser sequels for nearly the past three decades. In creator Clive Barker’s hands, this was a genre game changer, featuring open wound, flesh re-imagined creatures with cool Juda Priest-y heavy metal leather suits, the most iconic of which was/is Pinhead, a bald guy with nails pounded into right into his head/face/eyebrows. And he had a deep voice practically designed for late night FM radio and/or selling infomerical juicers.

But once the rights were cashed out, Pinhead was inevitably turned into the Ronald McDonald of horror, relieving the greasy golden arches from Elm Street’s Freddy Krueger, who also reigned over nine movies and Freddy’s Nightmares (1988 – 1990), a painfully dated (even when it came out) TV series with 44 episodes.

Hellraiser

Judging by the press release, Hellraiser: Judgment seems to be another case of “meet the new Cenobite, same as the old Cenobite”…

“Detectives Sean and David Carter are on the case to find a gruesome serial killer terrorizing the city. Joining forces with Detective Christine Egerton, they dig deeper into a spiraling maze of horror that may not be of this world. Could the Judgment awaiting the killer’s victims also be waiting for Sean?”

Yeesh – a hobo could’ve come up with that plot.

Hellraiser

Not surprised that whoever owns the rights to Hellraiser can’t figure out how to explore the depraved depths of the Pinhead character, and merely relegate him a bookend to pathetic scenarios. Only Clive Barker, who gave birth to Pinhead and the Cenobites in The Hellbound Heart first published in 1986, can/could take us to the depths of a grisly Hell, or as I call it, the Poggie Tavern (est. 1934), a few blocks south of Heaven, or “my neighborhood.”

Clearly, the real Pinheads are the ones still recycling Hellraiser. That said, here’s a Hellraiser laundry list of viewings for those wanting to pound metaphorical nails into eyeball flesh…

Hellraiser (1987), Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Hellraiser: Inferno (2000), Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002), Hellraiser: Deader (2005), Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005), Hellraiser: Revelations (2011).

The Future of The X-Files

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The X Files

As a slobbering devout fan of The X-Files television series, which ran from 1993 to 2002 – and two movies: The X-Files: Fight The Future/1998 and The X-Files: I Want To Believe/2008 –  by the end I was still left with a few unanswered questions, one of which was whether or not Agent Dana Scully is single/available or secretly seeing/doing Agent Muldar, her long-time FBI partner, on the side. (It’s never been stated out loud to my satisfaction.)

Fight The Future / I Want To Believe

Got another shot at closure with the return of the series for one season in January 2016, reuniting key X-Files stars, minus the Lone Gunmen, all three of whom died in episode 15 of the ninth season, titled “Jump The Shark.” (That term is defined as a point in a television series, at which far-fetched events are included merely for the sake of novelty, indicative of a decline in quality.)

Jump The Shark

It’s also a famous reference to a 1977 Happy Days episode where Fonzi, on water skies and wearing a motorcycle jacket, ski jumps over a holding pen that has a leather-eating shark in it. Say what you will, but I was on the edge of my seat for that one – cheering for the shark.

The X-Files

Speaking of happy days, here’s what to expect from the new mini series: “The return of The X-Files comes thirteen years after the original series run and brings six brand new episodes from creator/executive producer Chris Carter, mixing stand-alone episodes and those that further the original show’s mythology. Stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are re-inhabiting their roles as FBI Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Mitch Pileggi also returns as FBI Assistant Director Walter Skinner.” (AD Skinner is totally badass.)

The X-Files

Even more amazing is that they’re resurrecting the way nasty Cigarette Smoking Man. CSM died in The X-Files last episode, his journey to the other side enabled by rocket missiles, right before he told Muldar and Scully that the aliens are scheduled to invade Earth in 2012. (That actually happened. No one noticed.)

I Want To Believe

The X-Files returns Sunday, January 24th, 2016 at 10pm EST and again the following night at 8pm EST on the Fox Network, with the premiere episode scheduled to screen at the New York Comic Con on October 10, 2015.

The X-Files

Only one other question in regards to the new X-Files – looking at the promo pics, I’m wondering out loud if Agent Scully has been taking supermodel pills? That gal is one hot dish, or “saucer.” Heh.